SW's
ADC
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I had a vivid
dream which seemed very real and sensory. I found myself seated next to my
cousin, in the passenger seat, in the car he used to drive when he was in high
school. It had a deep turquoise interior and was a convertible, but the top was
up, not down. I was stunned to find myself in a car being driven by my cousin
because I knew he was supposed to be dead. I asked him if he was "all right" to
drive. He laughed, and said emphatically that he was fine, absolutely fine, but
that he had something to tell me. I remember thinking how young he looked and
how healthy. He then said, "I wanted to tell you that you and I wasted a lot of
time when we were young. You have a lot of important work to do, and you'd
better get on with it." He said this even though he himself looked so young. He
had been 45 at the time of his death. I was 42 when I had the dream, but in the
dream I felt that I was also younger and that my age was correct relative to
his, as he appeared. Though what he told me was serious and it seemed very
important to him to get his point across, he also laughed, as if to say how
foolish we'd been. I did not feel that he was warning me of my own impending
doom, just reminding me of my mortality and letting me know that I would be
making a contribution to the world and that I should live my life and do my work
to the best of my abilities. He was right. I did find important work to do,
which ended up coming as a surprise, and not the career path I had chosen.
Was this
experience difficult to express in words?
No
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
I asked him if
he was "all right" to drive. He burst out laughing and said with emphasis, "I'm
fine, I'm absolutely fine." Then he grew more serious and said, "I wanted to
tell you that you and I wasted a lot of time when we were young. You have a lot
of important work to do, and you'd better get on with it." He turned and looked
at me. His voice was clear, deep and strong, as I remembered it to be.
Did
the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you,
or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was
communicated?
Externally. He was speaking directly to me. I heard his voice clearly. We were
conversing.
If
you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound
the deceased made when they were alive?
His voice was deep and
clear, as always, with all his familiar speech patterns and there was a hint of
a lecture about it. He spoke with confidence and reassurance. It was his voice.
He also had a way of sounding slightly amused, or superior, either self-mocking
or bemused by absurdity. That was there, too.
Is
there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
None. I was asleep in
bed in the middle of the night. The house was shut down for the night. We live
in the country and have no near neighbors and my husband and child were asleep.
Was
there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?
No
Did you feel a
touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
No
Did you see the
deceased?
Yes
Healthy, fit,
youthful, well-dressed, confident as ever. He knew where he was going and what
he was doing.
How
clearly did the deceased appear?
Solid.
How
much of the deceased did you see?
All, but from a side
view, until he turned and looked at me. I saw the crisp striped shirt he was
wearing, his sweater vest, and his khaki trousers. His hands were on the wheel,
steering.
Did
the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?
He appeared much
younger, perhaps in his twenties.
How
healthy did the deceased appear to be?
He looked wonderful--so
healthy with no signs of illness. At the time of his death he was completely
ravaged by his disease.
Is
there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
No
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
Yes
What
smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?
The car interior and
his aftershave, which I always liked.
Was
the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?
It was an aftershave he
used in the late sixties, called Timberline.
Was
anything communicated by the smell?
Familiarity and a
connection with the time when we were the closest and younger, with the future
and all of its possibilities ahead of us.
Is
there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any
other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?
No. My husband
doesn't use aftershave or cologne.
How long did the
experience last?
It was like a
scene from a movie. It felt as though we had traveled a couple of miles together
in the car, maybe five minutes or so.
Was the beginning
and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
Since it
occurred in a dream, it began suddenly. I felt surprised to suddenly find myself
sitting in a car with my deceased cousin who was doing the driving. He told me
what he needed to tell me and then it ended abruptly.
Could you sense the
emotions or mood of the deceased?
Yes
He was very happy
and he seemed to really want to get his point across, but all in good humor. It
seemed that his "visit" was solely to reassure me that he was fine and also to
deliver his message. It was for me. I felt that he had come purposefully and
gladly, to do this.
Did the deceased
give you information you did not previously know?
He said. "You
and I wasted a lot of time when we were young. You have a lot of important work
to do, and you'd better get on with it." He said this even though he himself
looked so young. He had been 45 at the time of his death. I was 42 when I had
the dream, but in the dream I felt that I was also younger than my age, like I
was mirroring his youth. Though what he told me was serious and it seemed very
important to him to get his point across, he also laughed, as if to say how
foolish we'd been. I did not feel that he was warning me of my own impending
doom, just reminding me of my own mortality and letting me know that I would be
making a contribution to the world and that I should live my life and do my work
to the best of my abilities. He was right. I did find important work to do,
which ended up coming as a surprise.
How do you
currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was probably
real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
it was not dreamlike in that I knew intellectually that he had died and that
something quite special was going on. Otherwise, it seemed as real as any time I
had been with him. Especially when it ended. I was both pleased and stunned by
it.
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
Yes
Only that I was
suddenly transported to a beautiful landscape and encountered my dead cousin. I
was aware that this was not "normal." He drove the car over a gorgeous hilly
road, up and down over rises and into valleys, all the time through a lush,
green, pastoral landscape that looked vaguely like where we grew up, but was
impossibly beautiful.
Describe in
detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:
I was at first very
surprised to find myself in the situation. it did not seem like a dream, it
seemed very real. I knew he was supposed to be dead, but was surprised and
relieved to find him looking healthy, young, and at the wheel. He had been very,
very diminished and suffered a great deal before he died. He seemed to
understand my confusion and reassured me with a big smile that he was fine. Then
things just proceeded normally as they would in a conversation, except that I
took notice of how beautiful the landscape was that we were passing through.
Was there any
emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Yes
Yes. I knew for
certain that he cared about me and wanted to get a message to me and that he
wanted me to see that he was well and happy. What he said was true and I needed
to hear it.
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
Seeing him, feeling his
strong presence, knowing he wanted to get a message to me.
The worst part was that
sometimes I feared that he was warning me that I didn't have enough time left to
do my "important work" and that I had wasted too much time already.
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
Describe:
I have taken
leaps of faith and trusted my instincts more. I try to see everyone as a
spiritual being. I also see the natural world as spiritual.
Did you have
any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
I felt certain that death is not to be feared. Only the physical trauma perhaps,
but not what comes after.
Did the experience
give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God,
etc.?
Yes
I understood that it is possible we go on in some way after death, though I'm
not sure how or if we do or if it's eternal. Perhaps consciousness or the mind
also exist in a higher dimension, or are separate from us and our brains are
just receivers. Do we keep our personalities and continue in some form of
existence, doing our chosen work among loved ones and friends? Or can we begin
anew? Perhaps we only "hang around" for a time as our "self," before our energy
is re-absorbed and distilled into the universe to become part of something else.
Death Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a
compact?
No
Did you observe or
hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
Uncertain
It turned out that I did have important work to do, which came as a surprise. It
is a source of happiness for me.
What emotions did
you feel during the experience?
I felt so happy. I felt
that he had come to say goodbye, since we had not seen each other in the few
months before his death. I felt that I mattered to him enough for him to take
the time to visit and speak to me. I felt our strong connection still existed.
Before he died, his mother and sisters had told me he didn't want to see
anyone--even me, and I was family. I was hurt by this. I spoke to him once on
the phone about a month before he died. Years later I was told by his former
partner that the family had kept everyone from him because they were in denial
and wanted to hide the true nature of his illness. He told me that my cousin had
wanted to see me and that my cousin loved me. The family lied and told everyone
he had cancer, because they were ashamed. I suspected what his true illness was,
since I knew him so well and I had seen him during the early stages. I was so
angry that I had been denied the chance to see my cousin, who was both like a
brother and a dear friend to me. After the experience, I felt happy and believed
that he was fine, and was continuing on in some other existence, and that he had
taken the trouble to come to see me. I felt I would see him again some day.
Was the experience
witnessed or experienced by others?
No
Did you have any
sense of altered space or time?
Yes
The place was more
beautiful than reality, we were both younger, driving in his lovely 1960s car
that has now long been rusting in a junkyard. It too was restored to "youth." I
knew my cousin was dead and yet there he was, as real to me as anyone I speak to
in the wide awake world.
Did you have a
sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes
I felt that he was
telling me I had a purpose that I was not yet aware of. That we were meant to
use our time wisely and for good.
Did you become
aware of future events?
No
Did you have any
psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did
not have prior to the experience?
Yes
Occasional dreams
containing imagery before cataclysmic events, like the World Trade Center
attacks, the tsunami that killed over 200,000, and my own brother's sudden
death, which was cataclysmic to me, and my mother's stroke. These usually occur
about five days to a week before the event. In the case of my brother and
mother, the dreams had symbols and metaphors that were very literal and
descriptive. In the cases of the tsunami and TWC, I dreamed that I was caught up
in the events. I was snatched up off a beach by a wave from the tsunami. I was
spinning underwater trying to fight the forces of the water and grasp my
daughter's hand, who was also being swept away. Shortly before 9/11, I dreamed
that I was flying in the air between two burning, towering skyscrapers. I knew I
was in New York and that a war or great catastrophe was taking place. Whenever I
have these dreams, I wake up knowing that something awful is going to happen. I
don't feel comfortable talking about them.
Did you experience
a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Uncertain
I had the same
personality and consciousness, but in a younger body, in a more parallel way to
my cousin, as he appeared to me. It was almost as though I traveled to him,
rather than the other way around, since I found myself plopped down in the
passenger seat of his old car.
Did you meet or see
any other beings other than the deceased?
No
Did you see a
light?
Yes
It was a glowing
landscape. A place of incredible beauty and sunlight. Gorgeous.
Did any part of
your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described
above?
No
Have you shared
this experience with others?
Yes
A therapist did not discount it. My husband thinks it was just a dream and does
not believe in any kind of existence after death.
Have you shared
this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?
No
Is there anything
else you would like to add regarding your experience?
No.
Were there any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did you ever in
your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other
spiritual event?
Yes
I had an experience
with light when I was about twelve. I saw a being of light, a shimmering column
that looked like sunlight reflected on rippling water. It appeared in the
doorway of my bedroom during the night. It felt like a luminous presence. I
think I first became aware of a dim glow, as though someone had left a light on
and then suddenly it was full-size. It stayed there, undulating and shining
brightly for a while. It did not illuminate the space around it. I thought of my
recently deceased and very dear grandfather, since it was about the size of a
person, though it was hovering above the floor. I was just a kid, so I thought
it might be a ghost. I was alone in my bedroom and fully awake. There were no
lights on and we lived along a dead end road with no traffic. My room was on the
second floor of the house. My parents' room was downstairs and at the back of
the house. I did not want to call out, or draw attention to myself, because I
felt that it wanted to communicate, so I slid under the blankets. It frightened
me, yet it did not seem menacing, just inexplicable. I eventually peeked out and
it had gone.
There was another time,
about a year after my cousin died. My sister-in-law had just died young of
cancer. I was despairing and mentally questioning, where are you, are you all
right? I was driving alone on a highway at night when I had that thought.
Suddenly I felt as though s plug had been pulled, and all of my energy became
heavy and drained out of my body like sand. Immediately after that, I felt an
infusion of joy pouring in through the top of my head and into my body, like
liquid into a vessel, filling me with intense joy and lightness, like a balloon.
As that occurred, I heard a voice inside my head, not my sister-in-law's voice,
but an unknown voice said, "She is FINE!"
Did the questions
asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Yes
Please offer any
suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
Perhaps, when
discussing dreams, you could ask on a scale of one to ten, how real did it seem.