I had gone to bed as usual on this night and during the night my son came to me in a dream. This is the only way I can say this because it wasn't just a dream. He actually came to me, while I was asleep. He ran through an open doorway that was in a white plastered wall.  The doorway had a wooden architrave around it which was quite unusual. He was wearing dark blue split running shorts, no shirt and no shoes. The first thing I noticed was that he was well and looked as he did before he became sick. His hair was its original sandy blonde color, his back and shoulders were tanned and smooth, as they had been before. He stood in front of me with his hands on his hips and a big smile on his face. Behind him, three young men ran through the doorway after him and the stood in a row behind him. I did not recognize two of them and the third young man, who stood in the middle, had his head hanging down the whole time. It was not hanging in shame or sorrow, I believe I was not meant to see his face. I thought one of the boys looked like my sister-in-law and the other had brown skin (not tanned, he was of a different ethnicity from my son) and curly, black hair hanging to just above his shoulders. (I have wondered many times who these lads might have been. My sister-in-law lost three babies mid-term, another brother had a son who was still-born, and my daughter, who is married to a man of Indian heritage, had a miscarriage. One of her daughters has curly dark hair like the lad with my son. I am only speculating. I have no real idea who they were.)

I was very happy to see my son but he didn't touch me or hug me. He simply stood there and said 'I'm ok mum, but I have to go now'. He then ran off past my left shoulder and the three other boys ran after him. At that moment I woke up and was overcome with joy that I had seen him again, however, I then burst into tears because I had seen him and he had gone again. It was 1.30 am. I didn't wake my husband. I just had a cry and went back to sleep and told him about it the next morning. I could recount every detail of the dream and still can. It was as real as any other event in my life, even though I know I was asleep and it was a dream. After this, my grief was not quite so overwhelming. It was still terrible but I no longer felt that I was on a downhill slide into oblivion.

There were two further times when I was asleep when he came to me in a dream. Once about 18 months after he died. In the dream I was standing next to a white wall and he appeared and walked towards me and said he wanted to have a cuddle. This was unusual as it wasn't a term we would have used. We hugged briefly and then he was gone. A few months later my husband and I  had gone to the Boxing Day cricket match at the MCG in Victoria and were flying back to Western Australia. I had developed an interest in cricket when my son was 16 as he was a mad cricket fan. I was trying to find a way to relate to a monosyllabic 16 year old boy in a way other than telling him off and so I started to watch the cricket with him. He was the only reason for my interest. On the plane flying home I fell asleep for no more than 30 seconds. During that time he once again just appeared. He was moving towards me across the water of our favorite beach in the south west. Not walking but moving above the water. He smiled and was waving happily at me. I then woke up and told my husband again and cried. I had the feeling that he was telling me that this was goodbye and that I wouldn't see him again, though I had no sensible reason for thinking this.

In the few days after my son's death we had many inexplicable things happen such as electronic toys going off in empty rooms. On three occasions while on the phone to my daughter there was a loud, scrambled noise which both she and I could hear. It only happened 3 times when talking about my son. It hasn't happened since. Also when preparing his funeral late one night, my daughter and I had a very strong experience of his presence in our family TV room. This is very difficult for me to say because I don't believe in such things, but they happened.


Was this experience difficult to express in words?           No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?          No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? No Response

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?      Yes

Hugged

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? Just like we would always hug.

           Was anything communicated by the touch?           Just love between mother and son.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No. I was asleep.

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

A few years younger. He looked as he did before he was sick.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Very clear. Real.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       All

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?        Slightly younger. Perhaps 24.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He looked well. As if he had not been ravaged by disease.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? I was asleep.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?   Yes

           What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?          His smell. Hard to describe

           Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?      On many, many occasions after he died I could smell him, as if he was in the room. It was bizarre at first but I became accustomed to it. It rarely happens now, 5 years later.

           Was anything communicated by the smell?           His presence.

           Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No. This happened on too many occasions in too many different places.

How long did the experience last?      Each visit less than a minute.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?          Sudden.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes

He was happy and smiling. Interestingly, he said he was 'ok'. He didn't say he was terrific, this was great, I didn't need to worry, he was in paradise. Just that he was ok and he had to go now.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  That he was ok. I guess I had been a bit worried by his lack of faith in the last few years though we respected his choices.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real

           Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:     It was as real as a visit from one of my children yesterday. I can't explain this. I spoke with a cancer council counselor a while afterwards to try and explain how real it was. He understood as he said he had heard it many times before.

           Was the experience dream like in any way?           No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Very happy. Comforted.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?         Yes

I stopped going downhill. It was a long time before I felt 'better' but I no longer felt overwhelmed. I don't believe I will ever feel better. I have just learned to live with it.

What was the best and worst part of your experience? Seeing him. Then him being gone.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     I am happier in my life, more content. I am happy with a small life. I have very few friends, just family.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?          Yes    Less religious. More spiritual.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes    I always believed in life after death but that they were completely separate. I realize this is a fairly ridiculous thing for a Catholic to say given the basic tenet of the faith is resurrection from the dead. But you know, that was Jesus. I did not believe in any cross-over between this life and the next. I still believe there are may frauds who prey on grieving people.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?   No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?        No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?           Extreme joy followed immediately by extreme sorrow.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?        No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?           No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?           No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?        Yes

So, given my previous comment about frauds, this is going to sound contradictory. While my son was sick and after he died, I believe the veil between life and death became thin. I experienced a number of occasions of having knowledge of a circumstance that I knew nothing of. I had no control over this, I would be speaking without realizing, I had no control over it and was not even aware when it was happening, only afterwards, which was kind of annoying because it would have been pretty cool. There was an occasion in church where there was someone sitting behind me who intervened in a situation. The priest, who witnessed this, thought it was probably a guardian angel. There were a few of these type of happenings, but I always became aware just after they occurred. I was with my son when he died and the night before, and witnessed him having a conversation in French with someone at the foot of his bed. He didn't speak French. I

As time has gone one, this doesn't happen much any more.

While my son was sick I believe

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?         No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   Yes

3 young men. As described previously.

Did you see a light?         No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?           No

Have you shared this experience with others?       

Yes    Mainly close family who were amazed. My husband was a bit sad that he didn't experience something like this. A very few others, mainly because it's my private thing. It happened to help me,  not to convince others.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?           Yes

A brief explanation. A reputable organization though I don't recall which. Online for research purposes. I'm a believer in peer-reviewed evidence.

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?      No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?          No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?             Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       This is pretty good. I am generally skeptical about such things but this is fairly rigorous.