Shawndra C's
ADC
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My dream starts that I am shopping in a clothing store and am looking for something on one of those round clothing racks. The store is very crowded with these racks and as I am rounding the rack I see my grandmother sitting there in her wheelchair watching me. I am very excited and say "Grandma, your here! I notice she is holding my baby brother in her lap. She appears to be alive but my brother is wrapped in blankets and not moving. She notices me noticing him and I ask her "Did you bring him?"
She says " Yes, Yes, but we don't have much time." I nod at her as if I understand completely and begin pushing the chair to a less crowded area of the store. There we sit hidden by the circular clothes rack and I take my brother from her lap. She sitting there watching me with a loving smile on her face. I hold my brother and smell him and that sweet baby smell. I remember the blankets he was wrapped in were white with baby blue stripes around the edges that overlapped on the corners but I can't really remember seeing him. I see my grandmother very plain. She is dressed in a navy blue dress very simple style. Her hair is darker then I remembered it in life but the same style. I remember her skin being very pale and her lipstick very red. I remember her smile and I remember thinking that this must be very hard on her because she seemed tired.
We sat
there for what seemed like a long time with my brother in my lap and me holding
her hand. I remember thinking it strange that she didn't feel cold to me. We
didn't talk but it was like we knew each others thoughts and she would grin at
me and even laughed. Then she said it was time to go and I stood up and placed
my brother back in her lap. I leaned over the chair and hugged her from behind
and I remember her patting my arm. Then I am behind her and pushing the chair
again when I jerk awake. I am out of breath as if the wind has been knocked from
me.
Was this experience difficult
to express in words?
Yes,
I can describe the experience but not the feelings associated with it
Did you hear the deceased or
hear something associated with the deceased?
Yes
Describe what
you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
She spoke to me only twice. Once
to say that we didn't have much time and then to say it was time to go. that is
I saw her speak and heard her words. While we were holding hands she didn't
actually talk but It was like she was communicating. I felt she knew my thoughts
and was feeling the parts of my life she had missed since her death.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of
you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of
knowing what was communicated?
When she spoke it came from her,
outside of me. The other thing was more a sense of knowing we were sharing our
experiences.
If you heard a
voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the
deceased made when they were alive?
It was my grandmothers voice as I
remember it.
Is there any
possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings
at the time of your experience?
I don't believe so. I was alone
in my room.
Was there any
possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?
I was asleep
Did you feel a touch or
experience any physical contact from the deceased?
Yes
I held my brother in my lap and
smelled his baby smell. I held my grandmothers hand. And also I hugged her over
the back of the chair and she patted me with her hand on my shoulder upper arm
area
Was the touch
familiar or unfamiliar?
familiar
Was anything
communicated by the touch?
the touch was comforting
Is there any
possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings
at the time of your experience?
I don't think so
Did you see the
deceased?
Yes
She was in her wheelchair which
was very familiar. Her hair was the same style I remembered but seemed darker
then I remembered. She was very pale which had been the case when she was
living. I remember her having bright red lipstick on which I don't recall her
wearing in life. She didn't look particularly healthy but she wasn't struggling
to breathe as she had for the last several years of her life. I don't recall
seeing my brother except as a bundle of blankets.
How clearly did
the deceased appear?
solid
How much of the
deceased did you see?
Helen, I saw all of her I believe
Michael, I
can't recall actually seeing him. Just knowing he was in the blankets and
feeling the weight of him when I held him.
Did the deceased
appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?
Helen, appeared a the age of her
death
Michael,
appeared at the age of his death
How healthy
did the deceased appear to be?
Helen, was in her wheelchair which she used because of weakness due to the
breathing problems. She was not struggling to breath as she had in life.
Is there any
possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings
at the time of your experience?
I had
been sleeping and it was like a dream but more real
How
long did the experience last?
I'm not
sure. It seemed like we sat together for a long time but it was still night
when I awoke
Was
the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
The end
seemed very sudden. The beginning was more gradual
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?
Yes
She
seemed rushed at first and somewhat anxious but when we were sitting together it
was like she felt my emotions.
Did
the deceased give you information you did not previously know?
She gave
me a sense of peace but no specific information
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was
probably real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real
or not real:
I can't really
explain. It was one of many similar dreams I had about my grandmother.
Sometimes my brother was there sometimes not. I always felt at peace after the
dreams and even though it came to me like a dream it FELT different then a
dream. Like I wasn't just seeing myself do these things I WAS doing them.
Was the experience dream like in any way?
Yes
Well
It happened while I was asleep and then I "woke up" suddenly as you might from
a disturbing dream.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:
I felt a
sense of amazement that she was there but once I saw her it was like I knew she
would be there and that she was bringing my brother. I felt warm and loving
while holding my brother and relaxed and happy, peaceful while sitting with my
grandmother.
Was
there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Uncertain
I
don't remember feeling particularly uneasy or depressed before the incident but
I definitely had a peaceful feeling afterwards.
What
was the best and worst part of your experience?
The experience
was very pleasant
Has
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain
Describe:
I believe the
experiences have helped to shape who I am but again I was so young there wasn't
any obvious sudden change in my life
What other
attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?
It was a pleasant experience and I would not mind having more.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Uncertain
I
can't remember what my beliefs were prior to this experience since I was so
young.
Did
the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death,
afterlife, God, etc.?
Uncertain
I was
young at the time so I am not sure if it had that impact on me at the time I
just remember feeling peaceful. I do think it has helped shape my spiritual
believes.
Death
Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a
compact?
Yes
My
best friends mom committed suicide when we were 15 years old. WE made a pact
after that that if there was any way possible we would contact the other if one
of us should die. She is still living and was not a part of the dream
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
I was like WoW!
Felt very peaceful
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes
It
seemed we were together for a very long time despite my grandmother saying we
did not have much time.
Did
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
Uncertain
It
seemed I understood her initial urgency and I didn't seem surprised by the
situation. It seemed I Knew what to do and I didn't ask questions.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
I
have on occasion had psychic and paranormal experiences but I don't know if this
ever occurred prior to the "dreams".
Have
you shared this experience with others?
I have told my
parents and siblings. My mom believes it was real I am not sure of my father.
Siblings are pretty accepting and some have had there own experiences.
Have
you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or
web site?
No
Were there any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Uncertain
I had
similar dreams over about a ten year span. Coincidently the time I lived in that
house and had my grandmothers old room
Did
you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or
other spiritual event?
Uncertain
Very
recently I was feeling very overwhelmed and depressed and had pleaded in my
prayers that night that I might have some relief. I went to sleep about 9pm and
awoke at 12:30 to the smell of roses. I recall pulling back as I woke up like
something was right by my face and thinking "I smell roses." I don't think I
fully woke up then again at 4:30 I awoke again pulling back from the strong
smell of roses this time I was fully awake and the smell lingered for about 5
minutes. I had goose bumps but was not afraid. I remember wondering what was
happening. I was alone in my room and couldn't see anything that could be the
source of the smell. It was sudden and very strong then just gone. I laid
there in awe for a while and must have fallen back to sleep. When I woke and
now for several days I have had a peaceful feeling. Even though nothing in my
situation that was causing me to feel overwhelmed has changed