SB's
ADC
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My husband and I were devastated at having had to put Bean to sleep. I had watched him for the week before his death and stayed up almost every night comforting him - he was suffering and having great difficulty breathing. I needed the time with him to figure out if putting him to sleep was the answer and it became apparent that it was. On the night that we decided to call his vet - I told Bean that I would help to be free of pain and I was sorry that there weren't more solutions. We couldn't put him to sleep right away and had him put in an oxygen chamber at the vets office. He was kept content for several hours and I sat at home crying - waiting for my husband to get out of work to join me at the vets. It was horrible.
At the vets, I was so
exhausted from grief that when the time finally came and Bean had passed - I
actually felt relief (I was surprised by this). I was holding Bean and felt his
body weight lighten (it was really odd). My husband was crying - but I felt
oddly calm and peaceful (which still makes me feel guilty - because this cat was
like my child). That night I went to sleep very peacefully. Several hours
after falling asleep - my other cat woke me up suddenly (which he often did
during the night) by jumping on my chest. I suddenly woke up and said "Benj
what are you doing?" To my shock - I saw Beans face (as clear as day) looking
back at me with the look he always gave me when he wanted to know if it was
okay. We shared a silent stare for only a few seconds and he was gone -
replaced by Benj (my other cat) face and body. I immediately thought I must of
have hallucinated/dreamt this because of grief and dismissed it. Then I left
the bedroom and went to the living room to try and go back to sleep on the
couch. I had just fallen back to sleep in the living room - when Benj jumped on
me again - I opened my eyes and saw Bean again - same stare and once again - it
only lasted a few seconds and then he faded and became Benj's face. This time I
realized this was more than a dream - I was convinced that I saw Bean. I would
like to think he came back to see if I was okay - or if it was okay for him to
leave. I hope this story offers peace to others - it certainly made me a
believer and I was the world's biggest skeptic.
Was this experience
difficult to express in words?
No
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
No
Did you feel a
touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
Yes
Was
the touch familiar or unfamiliar?
familiar - but it was
my other cats body.
Was
anything communicated by the touch?
no
Is
there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
maybe
Did you see the
deceased?
Yes
I saw him as clear
as day - every detail of his face - not faded, but clear and real.
How
clearly did the deceased appear?
very - it was very
convincing.
How
much of the deceased did you see?
his face.
Did
the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?
he looked as he
always had
How
healthy did the deceased appear to be?
He wasn't breathing
heavy - he looked like he did just prior to being ill.
Is
there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
Maybe if it was just
once - but twice - I think what I saw was real.
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
No
How long did the
experience last?
Both times only
for a few seconds.
Was the beginning
and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
gradual - like
fading out.
Could you sense the
emotions or mood of the deceased?
Uncertain
This is what I am
most confused by - I am not sure if he was scared and needed to know it was okay
or if he wanted to let me know that he was still present and needed to do it
twice because I was a skeptic or if he was visiting my other cat and that cat
got spooked and jumped on me while Bean was visiting him. I would like to think
he was thanking me for helping him and saying goodbye one last time.
How do you
currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was
definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
The clarity of his face and the fact that I wasn't grieving when I went to sleep
- I was simply sleeping from exhaustion. Also, it happened twice the same
night.
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
No
Describe in
detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:
shock and at first
disbelief - but the second time just shock.
Was there any
emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Yes
I always wondered if
there was life after death - I was a skeptic - although I had a prior experience
after my father died (1995) - but that was a lot less convincing - so I
dismissed it - although I always wondered and hoped.
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
Best - that he chose
me. Worst - that I wasn't more present in the experience - I was in shock.
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Did you have
any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
I feel more certain in life after death.
Did the experience
give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God,
etc.?
Yes
I firmly believe that there is an afterlife.
Death Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a
compact?
No
Did you observe or
hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
No
What emotions
did you feel during the experience?
Deep sadness from
missing him and wanting him to visit again (which never happened) and combined
with joy (what a gift he gave me - it still makes me laugh).
Have you shared
this experience with others?
Yes
Only a couple of close friends and they were pleased with this information -
they know me and I am not a person to exaggerate or lie.
Have you shared
this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?
No
Were there any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did you ever in
your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other
spiritual event?
Yes
When my father died
- many years prior - something unusual happened, but I am still unsure of if it
was a coincidence or not. In the week after he died - I was sitting in my
livingroom - crying with grief. I remember thinking "Oh God - please let there
be something else. I don't want to never see him again. Please, please, please
let there be something else." I had the worst headache from crying and lack of
sleep, etc. and had all the lights out and the tv off. Just then the tv
switched on by itself (the remote was no where near me) and the channels started
to rapidly change and stopped on the show "Unsolved Mysteries" and there was the
host Robert Stack talking about the possibility of life after death. I was
immediately comforted by this. Although, I live in an old building and have had
electrical issues that affected my tv - so I am not sure.
Did the questions
asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Yes
Please offer any
suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
none