Sari K's
ADC
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My precious uncle (my father's brother) died of cardiac arrest in his sleep in the early hours of October 12, 2005 in New Delhi, India. I was halfway across the world at that time when I received a phone call from my cousin informing me of the same. I went into a state of disbelief as I could not understand how he could go away just like that without me having any premonition given the kind of heart to heart bond we shared. To top it, all people who mattered including our family and friends were able to see his mortal remains and were at his cremation which was within 8-10 hours of his death. Everyone was there except me. My dad called and his words brought in much needed comfort. As the hours passed by I felt miserable with the sense of loss and isolation. In my grief I started talking aloud to my uncle. I told him, "How can you go away just like that? You have to contact me." I must have repeated it umpteen times that day.
The next day I was caught up in getting an airline ticket to go to New Delhi. In the ensuing days I did not feel much grief probably because I was looking forward to being at his memorial service to be held on October 22nd.
Once I was in New Delhi I visited his and my aunt's home and went to their bedroom. My sense of loss was acute, I sat in front of his picture and cried and cried. At his memorial service I saw that my aunt and cousins had chosen to keep a picture of his that was taken at my wedding. Being back with my entire family was a great emotional comfort. By that time I had completely forgotten that I had asked him to contact me.
I will never forget November 1, 2005. Something wonderful happened sometime between 10:45 am and 11:15 am that day. I was in my parents' home, standing in the kitchen near the countertop cutting vegetables. I was alone. To my left on the countertop was a large size steel container filled with water and covered with a steel lid. On it lay two big heavy serving spoons of same shape, size and weight. They were both made of steel and lay parallel to each other with a few inches of space between them. I was chopping vegetables when I became aware of a faint metallic sound coming from my left. I thought it was coming from somewhere outside the kitchen and ignored it. It became a bit louder, I ignored it again. It continued and kept becoming louder and louder and I kept ignoring it because I did not think it was of any significance. Then it became so loud I could not ignore it any more. It clearly was trying to attract my attention. When I turned my head to my left I was awestruck! One of the serving spoons was jumping up and down on top of the lid and as it touched the steel surface of the lid it made that sound. My mind went completely blank. It was the only time in my conscious life I have experienced that kind of state of mind. There were no thoughts, nothing. My brain had stopped working. Then for one moment I thought I should extend my left arm and catch hold of the spoon to stop it but I just kept standing and looking. In hindsight I think this went on for thirty to forty seconds but at that time it seemed like it went on for a long time. Then it stopped and the spoon again lay parallel to the other spoon exactly as it lay before this happened. All this while the other spoon did not move at all. It seemed like I had lost the capacity to think because I finished what I was doing and then went to the living room. It was 11:15 am. It took a good thirty minutes for me to even begin to think what had just happened. And then it struck. It was my uncle contacting me as I had asked him to! My heart just knew, there was no doubt. While alive he knew I was a big time skeptic. If he had come in my dreams or if I had a vision or he had given me a sign or something like that I would never have believed and would never have got his message. He made me use my ears and my eyes to make his message clear. When this realization dawned on me I was embraced in immense love and peace and hope. I was wonderstruck! My emotional pain disappeared in an instant. No grief counselor could have done what my uncle did for me. The depth and range of my feelings are very difficult to express in words. It felt like my uncle's life continues, that I had not lost him forever, that I could still communicate with him and he would respond. It also felt like his personality had come through and I say this because in life when he had to make someone understand something he would present it in a manner that would make it very easy for the other person to understand in a sure and certain way.
After this experience I told him if he ever suffers on the other side he should let me know and I would help him become happy. Sure enough he did.
A little more than a
year after his death he visited me in my dreams. I saw his face engulfed in
fire. It was unharmed and expressionless but I was going through hellish
emotional/spiritual pain. It was sheer hellish torture for me. It was like I was
feeling his emotions, more like I had become him and going through his
sufferings. This pain went on and on. What I find interesting is the fact that
even in my sleep I was somehow aware of the fact that even though I felt the
pain, it was not me but my uncle who was suffering. It is the only time I have
experienced the hellish trappings of depression in my life. My uncle in the
final few years of his life suffered from clinical depression which I was not
aware of. It was a great relief for me when I woke up because I did not feel the
pain any more even though I was emotionally drained. I offered heartfelt prayers
for him to be relieved of his suffering and become happy. Even though I knew in
my heart that my prayers had reached him, the skeptic in me needed actual proof.
I asked him to let me know how he was doing. After some time he visited me in my
dream. I saw a healthy and younger looking him standing in the southeast corner
of my backyard dressed in spotless white with a serene smile on his face as if
to convey to me that he was absolutely fine. He looked happy and at peace.
Was this
experience difficult to express in words?
Uncertain
There are no words
to express the depth and range of emotions I experienced. I don't think I can
ever express in any language what I felt.
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
In the first
experience I heard the steel serving spoon jumping up and down and striking
against the steel lid and making a metallic sound. What was being communicated
was that the deceased existed as energy, that all was not lost, that he could
hear what I said to him and he was responding to my request of contacting me,
that he was still my uncle and we could still communicate.
Did
the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you,
or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was
communicated?
In the first experience the sound originated externally outside of me, a steel
spoon jumping up and down and striking against the steel lid.
In the dream
experiences I had a sense of knowing what was communicated. It was as if I had
become him and was feeling his emotions.
If
you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound
the deceased made when they were alive?
The deceased did not
make the sound. It was made by the steel spoon jumping up and down and striking
against the steel lid. It was not similar to the voice or sound the deceased
made when he was alive.
Is there
any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
It was from another
source. It was the steel spoon jumping up and down and striking against the
steel lid. I saw it and heard it.
Was
there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?
No, none at all.
Did you feel a
touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
No
Did you see the
deceased?
Yes
In my dream
experiences: in the first one it was only his face which was expressionless. In
the second one he appeared in his full body form
in spotless white clothes with a happy and peaceful smile on his youngish looking face.
When alive he would
wear spotless white clothes but the last few times I met him he sometimes looked
sad and much older than how he appeared in my dreams.
How
clearly did the deceased appear?
In my dream experiences
he appeared very solid and three dimensional; very real in both my dreams.
How
much of the deceased did you see?
In my dream experiences
once I saw only his face; another time I saw his full body from head to toe.
Did
the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?
He was 75 yrs old
when he died but looked much older because of his depression. When I saw him in
my dreams he looked in his early fifties.
How
healthy did the deceased appear to be?
He suffered from major
depression while alive. That made him infirm. When I saw him in my dreams he
looked much younger and very healthy.
Is
there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
No, there is no such
possibility.
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
No
How long did the
experience last?
1) The first
experience probably lasted thirty to forty seconds.
2) The initial dream experience lasted for a painfully long time, which seemed like the whole night. I can't say how many minutes.
3) The second dream
experience lasted a minute or two probably, at least that is how I felt in the
dream.
Was the beginning
and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
The first
experience started very suddenly and gradually increased in intensity as if to
attract my attention and ended abruptly after I had seen it for some time.
The other two were
dream experiences which began and ended suddenly too, especially because I woke
up from sleep.
Could you sense the
emotions or mood of the deceased?
Yes
In the first
experience the personality came through as I have explained in the written text.
In the dream experiences:
in the first one I was
sure the deceased was going through the hellish sufferings of
emotional/spiritual pain; in the second one I felt he was happy and at peace.
Did the deceased
give you information you did not previously know?
When the
deceased came in my dream the first time a little more than a year after his
death I sensed he was suffering from extreme emotional/spiritual pain which I
interpreted as major depression. Later on I found out he was suffering from it
in the last few years of his life.
How do you
currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was
definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
I view my experiences as very real because my uncle, who knew I was a skeptic
and did not believe in anything till I had tangible proof, used my hearing and
eyesight (two different sensory pathways) to establish initial contact with me.
Had he come to me in a vision or had I heard his voice or anything similar I
would have thought of them as illusions or my mind playing tricks. If he had
come to me in my sleep I would have considered it a sad dream and just that,
nothing more. When I saw the spoon jumping up and down and heard it make that
kind of noise for a length of time without any possibility of anyone or anything
else doing it, I got my proof. Once I believed his energy really existed and
there could be a communication between us he found it easier to communicate in
my dreams. Even in my dream he gave me information I had no prior knowledge of
that I could verify later.
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
Yes
Yes and no.
Even though part of the
communication was in a dream it was very real. There was nothing dream like
about it.
Describe in detail
your feelings/emotions during the experience:
During the first
experience where the spoon was jumping up and down my mind went blank. I did not
understand what was going on as it was beyond my imagination. My mind was
vacant, empty, there was nothing there, no emotion, no feeling.
In my dream
experiences, the first time my feeling/emotion was that of hellish
emotional/spiritual suffering, sheer torture, it was unbearable, very painful
and I just wanted it to end. During my second dream experience I felt happy and
at peace.
Was there any
emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Yes
When my uncle died I
had extreme sense of loss and isolation. After the first experience I was
healed. All my grief vanished because I knew my uncle existed but in a different
form and we could communicate. No therapist could have done what my deceased
uncle did. The fact is I felt very happy and elated.
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
Knowing that life
continues as energy and our loved ones are still connected with us is the best
part. I don't think there is a worst part.
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
It has affected
my relationship with my family and close friends. I spend more time with them, I
appreciate them more and love them a lot. I value my relationships. At times I
am aware of the energy of a person or a place to some extent. I have more
confidence. It has affected the way I eat and exercise. I actively pursue
physical, emotional and spiritual well being. Many people have started seeking
me out to get encouraged. I believe in the power of prayer to raise my
consciousness level and connect with the hearts of others. I don't pray to god
though; I pray to the highest consciousness of the universe of which I am a
part. I have become a lot more spiritual.
What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?
Life-changing
Joy
I believe I got a glimpse of the other side of existence in that life exists as
energy after a person dies. This energy is aware of our feelings and
circumstances and can communicate with us. If need be I can help the deceased
with my prayer for them to be happy in death. It's a very powerful feeling to
know that I can help someone who is dead. Death of a person does not end the
relationship.
Did you have
any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
I make conscious efforts to keep in touch with my loved ones like my family
members and close friends and spend quality time with them. I try to keep my
consciousness at a higher level by having a positive attitude and prayer. I
appreciate more and often. I love nature. I enjoy my own company. I enjoy
silence. I think I am developing more compassion and wisdom. I feel the love of
my deceased loved ones.
Did the experience
give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God,
etc.?
Yes
Life is energy that takes on the costume of this body when alive. It casts off
the costume in death. The link between the two worlds is the life to life/ heart
to heart bond. I have never believed in God as a supreme being who rewards and
punishes us for our good and bad deeds. I don't pray to god. My understanding of
the supreme is the highest level of consciousness that exists in the universe of
which we are all a part and which creates and de-creates everything. When I
pray, I pray to activate this consciousness in my life and others' lives, dead
or alive. I believe heaven and hell are states of mind. I have had these
feelings ever since I was very small, but the ADCs somehow in some way I am yet
to understand, made these beliefs stronger.
Death Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a
compact?
No
Did you observe or
hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
Yes
The deceased had major depression in the last few years of his life which I was
not aware of. I was made aware of it in my first dream experience which I was
able to verify later from a family member.
What emotions did
you feel during the experience?
Following my first
experience I felt embraced in extreme love and peace and hope. I felt elated. I
understood life does not end with death and continues as energy. I felt I had
extended my arm and touched upon lightly the other side of existence. I felt the
wonder of it. It's very hard to describe the depth and range of my feelings.
After my dream
experience I understood the emotional condition of a person suffering from
depression. The suffering of being in a painful hellish prison of their own mind
where they lose any and all hope of ever coming out of it. I can understand and
empathize with them. I could understand to some extent the mind state of a
person taking her own life.
Was the experience
witnessed or experienced by others?
No
Did you have any
sense of altered space or time?
Yes
During the first
experience where the spoon jumped up and down it felt like time had stopped. The
experience seems prolong but in all probability was less than a minute in
duration.
Even during the first
dream experience it seemed like it was never ending.
Did you have a
sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes
I felt like I
touched upon lightly the other side of existence with my outstretched arm. I was
made aware of the fact that life exists on the other side in the form of energy
and that energy can perform tasks. That energy is aware of what is happening in
our lives.
Did you become
aware of future events?
No
Did you have any
psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did
not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
After this
experience I have had several communications with other loved ones including
family members, friends and a beloved pet of a family member. My father's
deceased coworker whom I never got to know while he was alive reached out to me
through his son who contacted my father who then contacted me because he needed
some help in overcoming his suffering on the other side. No, I have not
developed any psychic ability. I just have a better awareness of energy like
when I enter a house I can sense the energy in it. I have no special gifts.
Did you experience
a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Uncertain
In my first dream
experience I was going through extreme emotional/spiritual pain while I could
see my uncle's unharmed, expressionless face engulfed in fire. I was fully aware
that even though I was experiencing the pain it was actually my uncle's pain,
not my pain. I was not aware of my body during this experience. I don't remember
having a body.
Did you meet or see
any other beings other than the deceased?
No
Did you see a
light?
No
Did any part of
your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described
above?
No
Have you shared
this experience with others?
Yes
I have shared this experience with a few family members and close friends. All
of them believed it except my husband. It's not that he does not want to believe
me but the experience is such that it does not fall within the parameters of his
belief system.
One of my close friends
and an aunt had their own after death communication experiences after hearing my
experience. My aunt says she now understands my experience well and also why I
use certain words and expressions to explain certain details of my experiences.
Have you shared
this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?
No
Is there anything
else you would like to add regarding your experience?
I have pretty much said
it all as best as I could.
Were there any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did you ever in
your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other
spiritual event?
Yes
I have had several
other after death communications. I believe I had an out of body experience in
my sleep.
Did the questions
asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Yes
I have explained
everything to the best of my ability. I could not separate the experiences I
described in the text because I feel they are part of a single experience of an
uncle and a niece supporting each other overcome suffering on either side of the
great divide.
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. I think your questionnaire is very detailed and complete and you gave a lot of room to describe and explain. Can't think of anything else now. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story.