Oh God, He Kept His Promise!

                                                                       By Patti Ribble Benson 

                                                                                                                                                                          10/08              I bought a book, called Hello from Heaven, and read about something called After Death Communication.  An ADC, as they call it.  I also read about an OBE, which means Out of Body Experience. Then I realized thats what I had with Steve, when I was identifying his remains.

After reading about ADC, and OBE, in July of this year, 2008, I realized that Steve kept his promise.  The day he died, I had to identify his body at John C. Lincoln Hospital in Phoenix, Arizona, on Dec. 16, 1976. He was only 34 yrs. Old, and I was 39.  Both our birthdays were in December, his on the 12, and mine on the 29. Our Wedding Anniversary was Jan. 10^th.

I remembered experiencing an Out of Body Experience, OBE and an After Death Communication, ADC, but I didnt know thats what it was, at the time.  My God, my heavenly father, he kept his promise!   I didnt tell anyone, since I was sure they would not believe me., and anyway it was a private loving communication.

The day before he died, we went Christmas shopping in the evening, buying presents for our 5 children, Christine 7, Michael 5, and the 3 yr. old twins, Bret and Brian, who lived with us, permanently.  Cindy 10 stayed week/ends with us, but chose to live with her mother, so she would not be lonely.  Steves   ex -wife gave us the children permanently, and wanted Steves life insurance in exchange for the children.  (Steve worked for a utility company as a lineman, which is fairly dangerous work.) Steve's attorney said, you already have the children, and nothing was changed.  I as his wife benefited when he died.  Of course I never, ever, dreamed he would die, and especially not in traffic.  I was just crushed!  I cried for days, and didnt leave my bed.  I ate only the Christmas chocolate candy the neighbors had given us.  Bill Burke, Steves best friend came the first day, while I was in bed, and took my limp body in his arms, and held me tightly, for a little while.  I felt there was no life in me, I was limp, lifeless, only a shell.  I was in bed a very long time.

Three of my sons came for the funeral, Tony, Gary, and John.   Gary and his friend Danny stayed with me, for a few weeks, I think.  I was dazed, in another world, of tears, and pain, more pain then I had ever felt in my life! My heart was broken, I was broken. I was alive, but dead inside. Finally one day, after heaven only knows how long I was in bed, Gary and Danny said, mom you have to get out of bed, and start doing things.  They hid the big box of chocolate candy, and Id only get up to rummage through the house looking for the candy. All I cared about was the candy, and going back to bed.

The day before Steve died we were tired after Christmas shopping, so we went into a Restaurant and had pie and coffee. (Little did I know that was the last time we would ever shop, or eat in a restaurant together.) We walked through a beautiful grassy area, near a large tree.  Steve put his arms under my arms, and around me, holding me tightly, and swung me around, saying, I love my Patti Ann! When we went to bed, he said, honey Im so tired I need to skip loving you tonight, but tomorrow, youre going to get some great loving!  (We only had weekends, since he worked out of town during the week.) He hugged and kissed me, and I kissed him back, cuddling peacefully as we drifted off to sleep.

The next morning he was killed on his way to work, while riding his motorcycle, when a car made a left turn in front of him causing the accident. I believe he died instantly, leaving his body, and feeling no pain.  As a boy, he had once recued a young girl, in Ohio, when she fell through the ice.  He risked his life, crawling on the ice, and pulling her out. Thats how he was. There was a picture of him in the paper as well, calling him a hero. His mom told me about it, when she came for the funeral.

Once, when power was knocked out in Yuma, Ariz., they flew many linemen down, buying them clothing there and feeding them steak dinners, so they could work around the clock and get the power up and going again. He asked me to come down with the kids, and he rented two adjoining motel rooms, so we could have some privacy.  I swam and played each day with the kids, while watching them in the baby pool.  Then at night, Steve and I loved each other. Once while we all were eating in a restaurant, the waitress said, Your children sure look like their mother. We all laughed.

The phone rang, and it was the hospital, they told me that my husband had been severely injured, and that I should come to the hospital.  They suggested I have someone drive me, so I called Mary Lee, a dear friend, and she drove me.  Her husband was a police officer, and she knew that Steve was dead, because they always suggest someone drive you when there is a death. (We had reconnected with Mary and Jerry at North Phoenix. Baptist Church, as we were putting the kids into their class, so we all sat together.) They both really liked Steve, and were surprised to see me raising a new family.

Upon arrival, a nurse came out and told me Steve was dead; I was prepared to nurse him back to health, no matter what.   I heard screaming, loud screaming, and then realized it was me screaming.

         I stopped screaming, and asked where is he, please, I want to see him.  He was lying on a table his feet were completely turned the wrong way, broken.  His mouth was wide open, like he was gasping for air in his last moments.  His head, they told me was fractured from ear to ear.  They had cleaned him up, and I saw little blood.  I felt him, and he was already cold, and hard.

My heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest!  The pain was excruciating!  Then I felt myself just roll out of my body, through my forehead maybe, and Immediately Steve was excitedly talking to me, telepathically.  He said, I love it here!  I don have to eat, or drink, but I can if I want to. Theres no need to bathe, Im an energy (astral body) I just zap around through space, and then suddenly we were going really fast, and I was in my astral body, and we were crossing back and forth, THROUGH EACH OTHER, and each time our energies touched, it felt warm, like a sweet loving hug, and this happened 5 or 6 times. Later on, I thought it felt similar to making love.  We were going really fast, and it was dark, and I never did see him with my eyes, but with my brain, and he was energy, similar to a swarm of bees, and it was him and his voice.   I had thought we were traveling through space, far out to another planet, but after reading a lot of the material in the Hello from Heaven book I think maybe we were going through the dark tunnel, but then it was more of a grey color, so maybe it was not the dark tunnel.  I remember thinking how far out we are going, and how far away from my body I was getting.  Upon thinking that, I was immediately back in my body!

Now my communication with Steve was over!  I was feeling pretty good about what happened, but did not speak of it to Mary Lee.   It was all I had of him now, and I wanted to treasure it forever.  It was very sweet and loving of him, and how did he pull it off, God Bless Him!  And thank you Dearest Lord, for this most precious last time with my darling husband. I didnt know it then, but I had just experienced an Out of Body Experience, OBE, and also an After Death Communication, an ADC.  Over 30 yrs. And I just realized what happened on Dec.16, 1976 after reading the following little book. (Steve had kept his promise)

1.       The end of summer 2008, as I was reading Hello from Heaven I found out Steve did one of the most difficult things there is to do.  Well he was a lineman, for a utility co. which was a very difficult and dangerous job, but he was used to the difficult. He read Gods word every morning in his little AA 24 hr book, and at night too. He loved the Lord, and had become a wonderful loving father, and husband.  He had over one and a half years sobriety.  ALL THESE YEARS I DID NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE DAY I IDENTIFIED HIS BODY.  I DID NOT KNOW, HE WAS KEEPING HIS PROMISE TO ME, TO LOVE ME.  O GOD, HE KEPT HIS PROMISE!

 Coming home, Mary drove us past the intersection where Steve died, (19^th Ave. & Dunlap, Phoenix.) and the pool of blood was still there, as they were hosing it away.  Oh God, why did I have to see that?

I had to tell my beautiful stepchildren their wonderful father was gone, forever.  Oh lord help me, be with me, I need your help!  Little Christina, cried out just like I did, and I held her in my arms, loving her, and letting her cry it out.  I spent a lot of time with the children, little Michael, Cindy, just loving them, and letting them put their Xmas gifts into their dads casket.  Steves mom came out from Ohio, and she was a comfort to me, and the children.  Cindy 10 was allowed to come to my house, once Steves mom was there, and the girls and I cried while sitting on top of my bed.  We talked about Steve, and told each other things about him that we loved, and cried, and cried, and cried.  Cindy said, she was not allowed to cry at home with her mom.

         During the funeral, as they lowered Steves Casket, I remember thinking that I wanted to throw myself into the deep hole, and be buried with Steve.  After the funeral one day and the children had gone back with their other mother,, I was all alone,  sitting in our favorite Mexican Restaurant, and he was suddenly in the booth across from me, I didnt see him, but he was talking to me telepathically.   Another time I was driving to Parker, to clean the home I owned, and decide what to do now.  Live in Parker, or Phoenix?  He was talking to me telepathically again.  Oh geeze

After awhile I couldnt take it anymore, and I went out to his grave and laid spread eagle on it, and told him how much I loved him, but I cant do life with one foot in my life, and one foot in his life, its just too complicated.  I had no one to talk with about this relationship, and it was getting uncomfortable.  I told him to go on with his life, and do whatever he is supposed to do.

Years later, nothing ever worked out for me as far as having a special love in my life.  I loved my step children, but their real mother would beat them if they met me at McDonalds for a visit.  Upon telling my sponsor, she said I must let go of them.  So my total loss was 5 children, and a husband, the best one I ever had.  It was very painful to let go of the children, they always reminded me of Steve, with their sweet little faces. They loved me very much since I made them hot cookies and many nice meals.

While dancing with a man at the Singles Dance, in Phoenix, he shared with me he still talks to his dead wife, after 10 years. I said, really? And he said, why yes.  I then tried to communicate with Steve again, but nothing worked.  He never has talked telepathically to me since I told him I couldnt do that anymore.

I have in my older years wanted to get in touch with him, by learning how to Astral Travel. My astral body is beautiful!  I have a book on that now.  I dont know anyone who has had an OBE, ADC, or who Astral Travels. Im still enjoying my book, (Hello from Heaven) and continue reading it.  I hope to meet with others who have some of the same interests I have.  One thing I know for sure, AT DEATH, WE DO NOT DIE, WE GO ONTO OTHER LEVELS OF LEARNING. 

Until I meet Steve in heaven, I continue to see him and our Lord in all the beautiful alive things on this earth. I will ride my mountain bike every chance I get, and therefore see my beloved lord, and Steve in all the lovely flowers, birds, butterflies and rainbows! Steve loved all those things as well, since he rode his motorcycle from Phoenix, to Parker to see me.  He courted me long distance, and loved me with so much passion! He gave me a little gold heart necklace I wore on our Wedding Day, and told me he couldnt give me his real one.  He had some favorite songs, The Wichita Lineman, and Gentle on my Mind, by Glen Campbell.  

We once took a night ride, from Parker to Bouse, and back, when there was a full moon, the biggest one I ever saw, it was a bright orange.  I will never forget how beautiful it was, and how much fun we were having.  Then we stopped at a little restaurant for hot coffee, since it was freezing cold.

 I now live in happiness, love, and peace, grateful for all my many blessings, especially too, the blessing of my four sons.  They are the biggest blessing from the Lord, next to Steve, and his beautiful children, which I also love very much. My children went forward and multiplied, leaving me with 8 grandchildren, and so far 2 great grandchildren.  Oh yes, I have been greatly blessed! Thank you Lord and God bless us all.

The first time I saw Steve, he was sitting on a motel balcony reading his little 24 hr. AA Book.  I worked at the State Bank, where I was the #1 teller.  My friend Debbie worked at APS, and we had met when we played womens soft ball, with our other friend Kelly, who worked for Sahuaro Chevrolet.  Debbie told me there were linemen in town, and come on down, and lets check them out? Well She, and Gus her friend, had already set me up with a date.  I told Gus, no, I want to meet the guy on the Balcony.  However they insisted that I keep the date with the other guy.  Okay, but give Steve my ph. # and name, and please tell him to call me.

The next day he called me, and asked me out.  I said, I was out last night, how about tomorrow night? He said, look lady, I cooled my heels last night, do you want to see me or not? Yes, I do.  Im barbequing some steaks for my 15 yr. old son John, and myself, so come on over and have dinner with us. I met him at the door, and he said, Im Steve, Im an alcoholic, I have 3 months sobriety, this is coffee, (Styrofoam cup) and I go to AA down in Phoenix.  I thought, My God!  I said, Im Patti, and I have 3 months sobriety, but I dont know anything about AA. He told me, while sitting on the balcony he had prayed to God, to please do something! It was dynamite, love at first sight, I was on fire, and he was too, since we had so much in common.  I traveled to Phoenix, where he had an apartment, and was in the process of getting a divorce. He took me to my first AA Meeting.  I loved it.  I liked, and respected him, and he was easy on the eyes.

He said, he loved me, and wanted to marry me, but I had to get a sponsor, and take inventories.  I said, okay.  It turned out our sponsors were husband and wife.  We rented my HUD house out in Parker, and moved to a rented home in Phoenix.  I got a job with First Federal Savings & Loan, in Youngtown, AZ.

Steve was divorcing his wife, because she refused to go to Al-Anon, and he knew it wouldnt work, if she didnt go.  We were married, in a Lutheran Catholic Church in Phoenix, as soon as the divorce was final. His ex wife gave us the children, Christine 7, Michael 5, and the 3 yr. old twins, Bret and Brian.  In return, she wanted his life insurance made out to her.  Steves attorney said, you already have the childrenand thats how it was when he was killed.  I wound up with a lot of money, but my heart was broken..

Steve put in for a transfer to Parker, where my home was, and that was our plan. To move back there, and for him, that was wonderful, because he didnt feel well in Phoenix.  That why he liked to work out of town, and I also had learned he had Valley Fever, which is not contagious..  While he was gone each week, Lee, my sponsor would pick me up each night and wed go to an Al-Anon mtg. I had a wonderful baby sitter, the kids loved her, and I paid her. She was wonderful, and I was doing inventories, and making progress.  It was very painful to dig up old experiences. I was sure she would hate me, when she heard bad things, but she loved me, and said, Oh we all go through those kinds of things, and she hugged me often, which I had never...ever had from my mother.

When Steve came home on weekends, he always had learned a new song on his guitar, which he practiced evenings in his motel room.  The first song he learned was Honey I miss you.  He always said, "I love my Patti Ann.  And thats how it was. I remember once we were on his motorcycle, far from home, and it conked out, during a dust storm. He was apologizing to me for having gotten me into such a mess.  I told him, honey I love you, and Im happy to be here with you, wherever you are, whatever the conditions, as he is pushing the cycle homeI stopped him, pulled him close and kissed his cold dirty face, with my cold dirty face. ..ha ha   Thats Love, and what it is.I believe we were soul mates!!

Steve and my brother Gary liked each other a lot, since they had both been in the U.S. Navy.  Katy liked him too; after all he was easy on the eyes.  Brother Gary made funeral arrangements, thank God. I was a weepy mess.  I paid for everything and secretly wanted to be buried too. After awhile it passed, and I started feeling less numb.  I live in Prescott, Arizona now, since I also need clean air, just like Steve did.

I plan to go to the Cemetery next Phoenix trip and put flowers on Steves grave, when I find it. LOVE Yah!