Nancy F's
ADC
|
I was in Mexico, in a bedroom in a private villa, sleeping. It was in the very early morning, before dawn; the sky was just starting to lighten slightly.
My ex-boyfriend Joe (who I had not seen in 13 years) had died in a motorcycle crash in China about 3-4 days before this, but I had not heard the news of his death. See my previous submission for the details about my experience at the time of his death, which at that time was a mystery to me (I thought at the time it was either some sort of ESP communication, or I was just going crazy.)
I woke up slowly--not sure whether I was actually asleep or awake when it happened, or if I woke up in the middle. I felt his presence in bed with me in a very intense physical way. There was also a visual element--it was dark in the room, but I could just barely make out the shape of his body, mostly the outline of his shoulder and the back or side of his head. Specifically, he was giving me oral sex. Although it had been years since I had been with him, it was unmistakably Joe. Then it was over and he wasn't there. It felt as though he had gotten up to go to the bathroom--his presence was still lingering. I almost called out his name before I realized that it was not possible that he was actually there in Mexico with me in the middle of the night.
Was this experience
difficult to express in words?
Uncertain
Not indescribable,
but very personal/intimate, i.e., "x-rated."
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
No
Did you feel a
touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
Yes
See above
Was
the touch familiar or unfamiliar?
very familiar
Was
anything communicated by the touch?
just love, affection,
desire ... the usual stuff associated with sexual contact between lovers.
Is
there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
No
Did you see the
deceased?
Yes
See above. From what
I could see he looked pretty much the way I had last seen him 13 years before,
but his hair was freshly cut, shorter than it had been when I was with him.
(Later I saw more recent pictures of him, and his hair was in fact shorter.)
How
clearly did the deceased appear?
not transparent really,
just a little vague, but it was dark in the room and I was half-asleep (or
asleep maybe, not sure).
How
much of the deceased did you see?
part--see above
Did
the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?
hard to tell--I
didn't see his face.
How
healthy did the deceased appear to be?
very healthy. No
infirmities that I know of before he died.
Is
there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
No
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
No
How long did the
experience last?
Not sure--not
long, probably less than a minute
Was the beginning
and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
gradual
beginning, more sudden ending
Could you sense the
emotions or mood of the deceased?
Uncertain
Did the deceased
give you information you did not previously know?
No
How do you
currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was
definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
I've had many dreams about Joe over the years, many of them erotic, but this
felt much more real, and tactile, and compelling than any dream I've ever had.
It was also very much Joe's style to do exactly what he did, not a scenario I
would have invented.
I've also dreamed about
him more recently, since I knew that he had died, and those dreams were also not
like this.
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
Uncertain
Somewhat dreamlike
in that I was asleep, at least at the beginning ...
Was there any
emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Uncertain
Don't know how to
answer this. In some ways I think the news of his death was more devastating
because of these experiences, but in other ways it's comforting to know that we
did reconnect, just not in the physical world. I have no doubt that I will be
with him at the time of my own death.
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
When I found out he was
dead, I was very happy that he had come to say goodbye, but having had the
experience, I'm all the more grief-stricken that I'll never see him again in
this life.
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain
Did you have
any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
It's clear now that we were true soulmates, and had probably known each other
before this lifetime. (I suspected that when I first met him, but later put it
down to an over-the-top teenage crush.) And that death is not the "end," but
just a transition.
Did the experience
give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God,
etc.?
Yes
When I found out he was dead and that these 2 experiences were visitations from
the spirit world, it completely changed my viewpoint on life and death.
Death Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a
compact?
No
Did you observe or
hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
No
What emotions
did you feel during the experience?
Mostly confusion (Huh?
Joe?!?! What the **** just happened???), and even more compelled to contact Joe
as soon as possible (see my previous submission).
Was the experience
witnessed or experienced by others?
No
Did you have any
sense of altered space or time?
No
No, except that I
knew he was in China, so it made no sense that he would be with me in Mexico.
Did you have a
sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Uncertain
Not at that time.
Did you become
aware of future events?
No
Did you have any
psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did
not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
No, but it appears
that I did have precognition of his death for months before, that I failed to
recognize at the time.
Have you shared
this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?
No
Were there any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did you ever in
your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other
spiritual event?
No
No, except the one
other experience that I submitted. See my answer to this question in my previous
submission.
Did the questions
asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Yes
Please offer any
suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
No suggestions, but
BTW, this questionnaire was last revised on my birthday. I no longer think there
is such a thing as a meaningless coincidence.