This has happened 5 times after my father died. He died in my home, in my arms. The first was the night after he died, then the next night. Then a week or so later, then the night before last.  

I was laying in bed, on my side, looking into the darkness. It starts as a movement of grayish color, no bodily shape, just a formless movement. It will seem that there is a solid object behind the gray, still not human in shape. Much smaller as well.  

Then a light appears. It was white and grew to about quarter sized but not round...more northern lights, aura type light. The second night it stared and became a white flame. The third night it happened, it was a aqua colored blue ball of light, about the size of a gum ball.  

The forth night was the light becoming a brighter blue, growing, moving, still looking like a very small northern light type object.  

The last time I sat up and watched the light move and change from white to pink, then white to blue, and it was moving slowly in front of me, changing shape constantly. It got so close to my face at one point I was cross eyed looking at it. It is about the size of a butterfly at it's largest.  

I know that this isn't a trick my eyes are playing on me. I was not almost asleep, in fact the last time I was fully awake. I have stared into this area next to my bed every night since it happened, and most nights nothing happens. I have tried to stare to see if I can make it happen, and I can't. The times that it has happened, I close my eyes and re open them to see if resting my eyes makes it stop, it doesn't .  

That's all, just a small blue light that changes shape and moves around right next to me, and the moving grey color.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?        No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Calm and happy

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:            Because I sat and watched it happening in front of my face for about 20 minutes.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           In awe, lots of love

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I am less depressed about my dads death.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was that it was happening.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:            Able to function better. Not as depressed.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?   No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Joy, relaxed, in awe.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?  No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Yes

Small dot that grows and moves in waves and has been white, blue, pink.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?          No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I've only told those who know I wouldn't make it up. They think its wonderful.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      

I dreamed at age 19 that my grandma was walking in a big line of people and I tried to stop her. She was younger and her hair was dyed and she just smiled at me and kept walking. I used the excuse that she died to get out of a nursing exam because I had overslept. I got a call a few minutes later that she had in fact passed away. She had been ill for many years but not expected to die.  

I dreamed 14 years ago that my friend fell on the ground and died with a puddle forming from under her upper torso. We were shopping during my dream. I woke up sobbing. Later that day her boyfriend came to the house to tell me that she had passed away on a vacation she was on. She had an enlarged heart and was not aware of it. She was 37.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes