My mother passed away July 6th 2013 from Colon cancer. She was 1 month short of a long two year battle with this horrible, ungrateful disease. Anyways, this has truly been my first loss of someone very close to me and did not really know what to expect. after her death my first signs from my mom was I was finding feathers everywhere. I never find feathers the way I did. I was finding them in front of my doorstep, in local stores I shop at frequently and so on. My mother had a very special connection with birds. Our family called her the bird whisperer. Wild birds would come land on her hand. Hummingbird, blackbird to name a few. So that was my first sign. About 2 or so months later I had my first dream of her. It was a sad dream. She was asleep or resting in bed with a white sheet and cream blanket on top of her. She looked so beautiful. I was either kneeling or just squatting on the floor beside her bed sobbing. Saying mom please don't go. I love you and will miss you. I am not ready for this. Please mom! She didn't say a word. I was apologizing for everything I didn't say or do for her. I told her I am so sorry that you are going through this. Then I think I woke up crying. I don't remember that dream as much.

The 2nd dream I had last night was that I was in some house. This was nighttime not sure what time. It was made out of a lot of wood. Wood beam coming down every five feet from ceiling to floor. There was a old tv sitting in the middle of some random room but that was off. All I can remember was I was just sweeping because the wooden floors were covered in dirt and some type of red shiny cellophane but it was everywhere! I was crying for my mother, I knew she was gone already and not coming back. I was crying out for her because I loved her and missed her so much. I continued sweeping and crying. I entered a living room area that was older looking with a huge red area rug and a couple older sofa and love seat in there, decorations of some sort on the wall. I happened to look over on the couch and hiding on the big sofa under big pieces of cardboard and a few blankets was my mothers eye peeking out. The rest of her was covered up. She saw me look at her but didn't get up right away because I knew she heard me crying if she was there. I approached her and threw the stuff off of her and said "YOU CAME BACK MOM"?! With a very puzzled but so ecstatic sense of emotion. I fell to the floor fast and was holding her arm and cuddling my face on her arm, smelling her skin and remembering the way it felt when she was here. Her skin was so soft like a baby's butt. I was so happy and was crying so hard!! She slowly sat up, smiled and said. "I missed you Meshaw" (my real name is Michelle, but with her Korean accent it always sounded like Me-Shaw) It always made me laugh when she said it that way.  Then she said "Where's Dad"?! (she was always worried about her husband) I said Oh he's at such and such's house watching a movie. We were all there watching movies. Then I woke up crying. This was at 4:30am.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     No  

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   Yes   

Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:     I approached her and threw the stuff off of her and said "YOU CAME BACK MOM"?! With a very puzzled but so ecstatic sense of emotion. I fell to the floor fast and was holding her arm and cuddling my face on her arm, smelling her skin and remembering the way it felt when she was here. Her skin was so soft like a baby's butt .I was so happy and was crying so hard!! She slowly sat up, smiled and said. "I missed you Meshaw" (my real name is Michelle, but with her Korean accent it always sounded like Me-Shaw) It always made me laugh when she said it that way.  Then she said "Where's Dad"?! (she was always worried about her husband  

Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?   Communication was very clear between us both. 

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     Same as when she was alive.     

Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   Not at all!  

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   None at all!!!

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   Yes  

Describe where and how you were touched:     I was touching her arm. She didn't touch me at all.

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Her skin felt the same. Soft like a baby's butt.  

Was anything communicated by the touch?   NO not really.

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   Nope

Did you see the deceased?   Yes    Wearing old blue flannel shirt, looked as if it were my dads. She had no Makeup on, black leggins and little black shoes (kind of like ballet flats). Hair up in a messy bun.

How clearly did the deceased appear?   Very very solid!

How much of the deceased did you see?    All of her.

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?   She looked just like she did 6 months ago when I last saw her. Beautiful!

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?    Heatlhy

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?    nope

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    Yes

What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?    Not sure. her skin smelt kind of like flowery. Hard to explain.

Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?    not really.

Was anything communicated by the smell?    no

Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?    no

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     She seemed happy and conceded about the where a bouts of my dad.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   Nope

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    Hard to explain but Ill do my best. It just felt real because I could hear her voice and touch her skin. And look at her and talk to her. I felt like I was there.

Was the experience dream like in any way?    No   

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    No        

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    No        

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?    Uncertain   

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Uncertain   

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    No   

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        No   

Did you become aware of future events?           No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No   

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No   

Did you see a light?    No   

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes   

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No        

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No   

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      No