Mary R's
ADC
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The first experience at Maynooth, Ireland, in June 2004, was of an intense comforting nature. I got the sense I was being prepared for something that would be difficult to handle. It was tactile and vibrant - I felt a soft, warm yet also cool sensation on my arms and back, like I was being cocooned. There was an intense light and a buzzing sound in the room. It lasted for ages - gradually died away and I was left light but bewildered. In November, my Dad was unusually melancholy, intense and talkative on the phone, the last time we ever spoke. A week later I got a phone call from my brother he had died suddenly of a heart attack. We went to England the next day. Though terribly distraught, I felt his presence in the flat. That night, I was nearly sick with grief, crying on the bed, when suddenly a calmness descended in the room. I saw a bluish watery bubble form over my head and felt a comforting communication. Not in language but in thought. I was distressed he had been alone and scared. I sensed - 'it was fine, it was easy love, don't worry about me'. I also sensed a sadness and a goodbye, that we would be parted for a long time. Then the bubble began to shrink and seemed to be 'sucked away' into the corner of the room. It did help me get through the funeral and the first few weeks of grief.
Mary R, a registered, practicing, mental health nurse with a PhD in anthropology and mental health. My Father died very suddenly of a massive coronary two years ago. He was in England with my Mother at the time and I spoke with him on the phone about a week before he died. We spoke for an inordinately long period of time and I sensed some sort of melancholy in his voice, which unnerved me somewhat, though I didn't mention it to anyone. He also said, when we were saying goodbye, "I'm really glad to get talking with you today" and I wondered why he had said that, but put it out of my mind. A couple of months prior to that I had occasion to visit the University for the purposes of my postgraduate research. My accommodation for the two days and nights I was there to meet with a particular lecturer, and to use the library, was in the old seminary building, used for the trainee priests' accommodation, though nowadays very few of the rooms were in use, hence its viability as accommodation for visiting scholars for the wider university. On the second night I had a very uncanny experience.
I had read a magazine article about angels and the author had stated that if you ask your angel to visit you, they would. Being skeptical, but curious, I tried it. The sensations that came over me for about the next half hour were like nothing I have ever experienced before or since. The room changed - a lot of light seemed to fill the room. I had tactile sensations like something soft was surrounding me - as if I was being wrapped in a very soft blanket. Something vibrant that was both warm and cool at the same time, laid itself upon my bare arms - it felt like an embrace. There was a message communicated also, but not in language, rather, thought-like. I 'knew' that whatever it was, was there to comfort me, as if I was going to have to face something terrible in the near future and they were trying to 'strengthen' me. Emotionally, I felt an intense concern being exuded, a sort of 'comfort blanket' being wrapped around me, but at the same time I felt 'electrified'. There seemed also to be a sort of light 'buzz' in the room. Gradually it subsided and I sat dumbfounded on the bed for some time - I don't know how long.
Five months later my Father died.
The first thing that came into my
mind when I got the phone call from
my brother was that night at the
University. I 'knew' then that was
why it had happened, to 'prepare'
me. I use inverted commas because of
a concurrent sort of skepticism that
I may have made these links myself
as some sort of defense mechanism.
After traveling to England the next
day with my brother to be with our
Mother and arrange for Dad's body to
be brought home, we stayed in their
little flat that night. His body was
in the hospital mortuary since a
post-mortem had to be performed. I
lay on the bed in a darkened room,
distraught with grief and sadness,
having cried non-stop the whole
evening. Just when I felt I would
physically burst with the pain in my
chest - the 'heartache'- a sudden
calm descended. Again, the room
changed but this time I saw a
bluish, watery-like 'bubble' in the
middle of the room - it felt like
energy but again it seemed to
communicate, but thought-wise. In my
mind, I couldn't get rid of the
image of my Dad having this heart
attack and being afraid and alone,
thinking he would never see us
again. But when the 'apparition'
came, I 'heard' the thought, 'It was
easy love, don't worry about me'. I
also 'sensed' a 'goodbye' that was
imbued with a sadness and a longing,
I 'knew' we wouldn't see each other
again for a very long time.
The 'bubble' grew smaller and seemed
to be 'sucked away' into the upper
right hand corner of the room. The
funeral was awful, especially the
burial. However, about a week after,
I 'saw' a little boy in my kitchen,
looking in from the garden, but
when I ran into the kitchen
to encounter him, he had 'run away'.
Around that time, I also dreamed of
a newly born baby and 'knew' that
was my Dad 'entering another life'.
I am not saying I 'believe' all
this, but I did 'sense' it, from
whatever source - maybe it was my
brain producing a story that would
help me cope. But the physical
sensations seemed very real.
Was the
kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At the
time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Uncertain The first experience at Maynooth, Ireland, in June 2004,
was of an intense comforting nature. I got the sense I was being prepared for
something that would be difficult to handle. It was tactile and vibrant - I felt
a soft, warm yet also cool sensation on my arms and back, like I was being
cocooned. There was an intense light and a buzzing sound in the room. It lasted
for ages - gradually died away and I was left light but bewildered. In November,
my Dad was unusually melancholy, intense and talkative on the phone, the last
time we ever spoke. A week later I got a phone call from my brother he had died
suddenly of a heart attack. We went to England the next day. Though terribly
distraught, I felt his presence in the flat. That night, I was nearly sick with
grief, crying on the bed, when suddenly a calmness descended in the room. I saw
a bluish watery bubble form over my head and felt a comforting communication.
Not in language but in thought. I was distressed he had been alone and scared. I
sensed - 'it was fine, it was easy love, don't worry about me'. I also sensed a
sadness and a goodbye, that we would be parted for a long time. Then the bubble
began to shrink and seemed to be 'sucked away' into the corner of the room. It
did help me get through the funeral and the first few weeks of grief.
At what
time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and
alertness?
In June, for the whole time. In November, for the time that the 'bubble' was in
the room.
How did
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare
to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your
highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different
from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:
colors and sounds were vivid and intense. Time seemed to stand still. Even
silence had a 'buzz' to it.
Did your
vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such
as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes silence seemed 'loud' i.e. buzzing. Colors were vibrant and moving. The
'object' I saw in November was real but 'watery' and 'bluish'. It seemed like a
shimmering bubble.
Did your
hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect,
such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Yes silence was audible, like a buzzing.
Did you
experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
A mixture of calm and excitement, Afterwards I felt bewildered but
still calmer than normal.
Did you
pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No Not on
this occasion, but in subsequent experiences, yes.
Did you
see a light?
Yes In June, the room became intensely light filled. In November, with my
Dad, there was a 'twinkly' light, but it was bluish and associated with the
'watery bubble'.
Did you
meet or see any other beings?
Uncertain In June, I felt that the presence was either an angel or my
grandmother who looked after me a lot and died when I was 13.
Did you
experience a review of past events in your life?
No In November, when my Dad visited me, it helped me through the funeral.
It also helps me to cry at times when I think about it, I need to sometimes and
I feel better afterwards.
Did you
observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that
could be verified later?
No
Did you
see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did you
have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes In June, time seemed to stand still, when I was visited by the angel or
my grandmother. It was the middle of the night and I think it might have gone on
for some time.
Did you
have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No Except that I 'knew' he was 'somewhere' and was happy, not
suffering, and that his death had not been the terrible trauma I had imagined
it.
Did you
reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did you
become aware of future events?
No
Did you
have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you
did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain I have had several 'dreams' that involved going up a spiraling
tube of light and feeling very 'free' within the universe. During one specific
event a couple of months after my Father's death, I experienced that whilst
still awake, lying on the sitting room couch. It was comforting and calming, not
frightening.
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes Briefly with a friend. She believed me and was supportive. She told me
she had seen her mother several; times after her death.
Did you
have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Yes books and articles, various readings.
How did
you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real Both elements of the experience (as I 'know'
that the two events, in June and November, are linked) were some of the most
'real' experiences I have ever had. There was a physicality and emotional tone
that I will never forget. The first one was a preparation by someone or some
power to help me face what was going to happen. The second was most definitely
my Dad saying goodbye and trying, within the confines of his situation, to give
me something to hang on to. I see life in a different perspective now, even
though a very small part of me rationalizes that this was all produced by the
brain as a defense mechanism.
Were
there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
The
communication and the calmness during the 'bubble' experience helped me cope
with the funeral etc.
How do
you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real Both elements of the experience (as I
'know' that the two events, in June and November, are linked) were some of the
most 'real' experiences I have ever had. There was a physicality and emotional
tone that I will never forget. The first one was a preparation by someone or
some power to help me face what was going to happen. The second was most
definitely my Dad saying goodbye and trying, within the confines of his
situation, to give me something to hang on to. I see life in a different
perspective now, even though a very small part of me rationalizes that this was
all produced by the brain as a defense mechanism.
Have your
relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I think I have
a broader perspective on life, I prioritize relationships and time with people
more. A lot of trivial things have fallen away and I value time with my husband
and children more, as if everyday is precious.
Have
your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I am convinced
in a higher dimension to reality, and am following kabalistic, mystical, Jungian
and numerous other practices, which I see as all related to the one higher
plane, all trying to stay connected to it. Yet I still have an academic,
skeptical side that envelopes me in despair sometimes. I wonder if religion is
just an evolutionary mechanism sometimes. However, a good 99% of me senses a
wider dimension and it colors my life. I still miss my Dad and wish he was still
alive, but knowing we're all part of something bigger and outside of time helps
me cope.
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did the
questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes