In my house at approx 1600 on 6dec13.  I was fine, and suddenly out of nowhere, I had a crushing feeling of depression.  I tried to call Mark.  no answer.  I called a mutual childhood friend for over an hour at 1646 telling him I no longer wanted to live.  Also, 7dec13 in my home.  I became very ill as the day progressed.  by the time I got the call he was deceased, I knew what had happened in my gut the undertaker told me he probably passed between 1600-1900 on 6dec13, due to the condition of his body.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     No  

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? Yes 

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   No                                   

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   No                   

Did you see the deceased?   No                      

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    No                

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     I know it was mark's sadness that he had to leave me  or a sign to come save him.  

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    when I questioned the undertaker about the time of death.  He stated it was pronounced at 0700 7dec13, but he said his guess due to body condition was 6dec13 between 1600 and 1900.  we talked extensively about other families that had reported similar experiences.  I told him I felt mark going on 6dec13.  I asked him if I was crazy.  it was his belief that closed-minded people cannot receive signals from their loved ones.  that they feel open-minded people that feel communication are crazy.  But he stated in all his death experience, he believed all I was telling him.

Was the experience dream like in any way?    No   

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    Yes    When the undertaker told me Mark passed probably on Friday between 1600 and 1900, I teared up with a sense of joy.  it has given a strange sense of peace knowing he has not left me and I will see him again.  I am still in grief, but it is better.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    the worst part was experiencing Mark's sorrow and grief of leaving me.  the best was knowing I will see him again.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    Yes    I kind of look forward to the day I get to see him again in heaven.  I have 3 children and 2 grandchildren.  I am confused whether I want to be here or there.   

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?    Yes    I know he communicated with me.  I know I will see him again.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Yes    I was already pretty spiritual and have studied psychology.  this has really strengthened my faith.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   Yes my friend chuck who I called, and my phone records.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    Yes    Out mutual friend in San Francisco talked to me for over an hour on 6dec13 starting at 1646.  And another time a few hours later for approx 10 min.  I initiated both phone calls.  I kept telling him I no longer wished to live.  He was supposed to meet us in Las Vegas on 22dec13 for holiday.  we all grew up together.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       Yes    when he pulled off after we went to dinner Thursday night, I watched the car pull down the road.  there was a strange feeling that I should not let him leave.  I felt it before I got out of the car also.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        Uncertain    I had gut feelings to go home with him Thursday night.  I was educated to trust my gut, but didn't do it.  I remember wanting to say, just take me home.  He called when he got home and said he had the best day in a long time.  There were 2 missed calls from him on around 2000 2030 on Thursday night.  I had went to sleep.  I didn't see them.  I believe he was trying to tell me to come home.  I brushed these feelings off.   Friday I had no idea why I was depressed and wanted to die.

Did you become aware of future events?           No    as above

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No   

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No   

Did you see a light?    No   

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    the friend I called-he said he knew when his mother died years ago before 2 of our mutual friends told him

mark's son-he believes it.  he is very spiritual.  he states that his father has told me to go back to school and save someone.  he states that he went to plug a play station cord in and the light came on in the room.  he lives in his father's house.

the undertaker, mark's mother, mark's aunt who were there when I questioned the time of death.  they all 3 said they believe.

Another childhood friend who came to the funeral.  I called him yesterday and asked him to explain what had happened.  He said he could not.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No   

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?    always go with your gut instinct.  don't second guess.  you may never get a second chance.  if I would have went home with mark, he probably could have been saved.  we had a scare a couple months ago, and I was able to call rescue, who got him awake.  his breathing became very bad.  cherish every moment with those you love.  I held off marrying him for a trivial financial reason which matters not now.  Never hold off anything you know is right.  although I love my adult children, I was too focused on my daughter.  I neglected my fianc.  don't ever let anyone absorb you into their problems to the point you lose track of what is important.  never be afraid of deceased loved ones communication.  be open-minded.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No   

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      Yes    when my son died of overdose in 2007, I talked to him real late and he fell asleep on the phone while I was talking to him.  I remember feeling a strange feeling that I cannot really describe.  it was kind of like a fear response.  and I thought good night sweet prince.  the next weekend he was dead.