My mother died on 30 October 2002 of COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). I had left her at the hospital wearing an oxygen mask knowing I would never see her again. I couldn't sleep and got out of bed and began to play on the internet to pass the time. But nothing could take away that awful worry and anxiety I was experiencing. After a while, I felt a great sense of intense calm, comfort and peacefulness steal over me and what I can only describe as a telepathic voice telling me that there was nothing to worry about any more and that I should go to bed and get some sleep. I knew something significant had happened. I looked at my watch. It was about 2.30 in the morning. The next thing I remember was around six in the morning when we got the call to come to the hospital. They didn't tell us Mum had died but my husband wondered why I wasn't rushing. It was because I already knew Mum was dead.

I had never experienced anything like this before and had not sought it out - it just happened. I was rather taken aback by this experience as I had always been rather skeptical of such things.

 Was this experience difficult to express in words?         

Yes

It was hard to communicate how I heard the voice in my head.  It wasn't really a voice it was more like I was reading someone's thoughts.  It was also difficult describing the release of tension and the peaceful and comforting sensation that enveloped me at the time of this experience.  I had never experienced anything quite like this before and that was why I found it so difficult to describe and initially I was slightly reticent to discuss the experience with anyone.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?           

No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         

Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:  

It was like I was reading someone's thoughts.  The 'voice' was inside me.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? 

Yes, I had a sense of knowing.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?          

I did not sound like a voice it was just these 'thoughts' being conveyed to me but they were definitely not my thoughts because I had no way of knowing that my Mum was dead as I was not with her.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?          

No.  It was the early hours of the morning.  I live in a quiet neighborhood and the only other person in the house was my Husband and he was asleep.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  

No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?           

No

Did you see the deceased?        

No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?     

No

How long did the experience last?       

Seconds - no longer than thirty seconds.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        

It happened suddenly but gradually ebbed away.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          

Yes

Calm, peaceful, reassuring.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

Yes, I presume the do not worry any more was meant to be: "I am no longer having to struggle to breathe.  I am no longer suffering.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:         

I am not a fanciful person and when I had heard others describing similar experiences, I thought they were kidding themselves!

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  

No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          

Relief, comfort and serenity. I straight away felt tired and was able to get to sleep.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          

Yes

My Mum and I did not always have a great relationship.  Mum wasn't the type of person to go overboard with giving you love.  She gave me things and seemed proud of me but I was never really sure if she loved me.  By giving me that final goodbye and easing my pain, I felt that was a tangible sign of her love and I find that very reassuring and comforting.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     

The reassurance and comfort and the fact that it allowed me to go to sleep.  I felt too guilty to sleep while my Mother was struggling between life and death.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?        

Yes

            Describe:     

I am a more spiritual person and try my hardest to lead a good life.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

I now realize that those stories I had heard about other people's unexplained experiences were probably true

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?           

Yes

It opened up the possibility that there is life after death and that I probably will meet all my deceased relatives again.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?       

No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         

Yes

Only the fact that I suspected Mum was dying when I left and this experience verified that she was before I was officially informed.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           

When I was awakened by the telephone I knew this was the actual notification of Mum's death but I felt I didn't really need it because I already knew.  I went to the hospital to confront that which I already knew had occurred.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          

No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  

No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   

Yes

Yes, I felt Mum was telling me she had passed away so that I wouldn't worry about her any more.  It seemed a very kind thing to go.

Did you become aware of future events?      

Yes

I often get flashes of knowing something will happen before it does.  They are only small things.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

I sometimes feel as if people are in trouble or are thinking of me but I am too embarrassed to ask if they were because it seems ludicrous and I feel they may think I am going barmy!

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes

I am choosy whom I tell about this experience.  I tend to tell open minded people and most of them have told me that these experiences are more common than most people realize.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  

Yes

Hello From Heaven and The Spirit Circle.

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?      

No.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?        

No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?          

Yes 

I had a near death experience about 12 years ago and my Mum was largely responsible for it!  She gave me a tablet (something she had been taking to help relieve the pain of shingles) to help me feel better when I had flu!  It was Mum's birthday and a bank holiday and I wanted to feel better for the next day so we could go out.  I took the tablet but it made me feel so good that I had forgotten I had taken it and later had some wine.

The combination of my flu-weakened condition, the tablet (which we later found out was related to morphine) and the alcohol, caused me to collapse and stop breathing.  My husband said I went an awful color (bluish) and I had my teeth clenched tight.  I wanted to go off to wherever I was going.  It seemed a wonderful place and I wanted to go because it seemed so peaceful, comforting and wonderful but someone kept calling me back (my husband) so I came back.  I frightened the hell out of my husband, my daughter and my Mum.  All my Mum could think of was that she had killed her daughter on her birthday!!!

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?              

Yes

I think the questions asked must have explored my experience from every possible angle.  I feel as if I have repeated myself several times on some points so hope it isn't too boring to read.