I was laying in bed next to my husband.  I was totally aware of the pillow beneath my head and the sound of my husband's breathing.  It was a state of consciouness that was very strange to me even at that moment.  My eyes were closed and I almost in a trance but not fully asleep.  All of the sudden I heard Kevin's voice.  Only it wasn't with my ears, it was in my head.  Normally when you awaken from a dream, even if the dream feels so real, after you awake, the dream pales by comparison as far as how real it actually felt.  But in this case, the voice in my head and it's clarity and reality was even more "real" than in waking life.  Kevin's words were so clear that I felt like I could even "hear" the movement of his lips and his tongue forming the words.  Kevin spoke my name then paused then said "I'm sorry".  The truest deepest meaning behind those words were totally present and I could feel the sincerety.  He went on to say that everything had been "revealed" to him as if "by the light of the moon".  I tried to talk back to him in my head but it was as if it were only a one-way communication.  Then the line went dead like a cell phone dropping the call.  I had been left with all of his estate issues and burial issues as the mother of his only surviving heir.  His parents were too devistated to assist with anything.  I was in shock and sad and could not believe he took his own life.  I had been waiting for his apology and he knew it.  That morning I got the apology I'd been waiting for.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes, The clarity of the experience

 Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         Yes

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  inside

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           His voice actually was clearer in this experience than it ever was in the physical world

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          Because of the uniquness of my state of mind and the clarity of the sound of his voice was beyond anything I'd ever experienced

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           desperate to continue the communication

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I know he is sorry but fear he is stuck somewhere