Early in the morning, just before the time I normally wake up my deceased mother spontaneously appeared in my vision, although my eyes were shut and I was sleeping, it became apparent immediately I was lucid and I recognized my mother's sudden appearance.  It lasted only second, long enough to look at her closely and remember making sure it was my mother - I was in shock and the visitation caused me to awaken almost immediately.  I jumped from my bed in gratitude and began thanking my mother and God for this amazing experienced.  My mother's face was very close to mine and I only saw her head, neck, upper shoulders.  She looked as she did in the last year of her life.  Although sick, she was an attractive woman who kept herself up.  She did not speak to me, she seemed to be gazing at me, possibly communicating with her eyes, which were watching me intensely.   

After her passing, I felt like an orphan and lost with little other support.  She always called me daily.  She was my best friend. 

Now I am sick and it is my belief she came to me to show me our spiritual being, consciousness, or soul does survive the physical death.  At the time of her appearance I was really sick and did not know it.  This past February I was hospitalized after entering the ER with a serious condition for which little can be done.  Believe my mother must have know that and that is why she made the effort.  After her death, I began reading lots of spiritual books about life after death, survival of the soul.   

To this day I recall it so well; the experience was very real and yet other worldly - she appeared to be in another dimension, allowing me to see that, rather than appearing in mine.  The most unusual thing, which makes me feel that way, was she appeared in an almost sepia color, sort of like the old negatives, but nothing was blurred, the lines of her face were crisp.  Rather than feeling she was here, I felt I was there because it did appear supernatural.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

She was not smiling, it seemed almost like old photographs when people didn't smile on purpose.  She was just looking at me - she just let herself be seen - it was over in moments, but I was ludic enough to realize I was asleep and my mother woke me up.  She looked as she did the last year of her life, before she got really sick.  She looked beautiful.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            somewhat transparent, a sepia color made it seem that way, but she was also solid too

            How much of the deceased did you see?       just her head and neck

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       Appeared the age when she passed on.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Healthier than when I last saw her.  She seem strong, however, old.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No, I live alone.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden - suddenly appearing and the shock of it caused me to wake up, but it was already seared in my brain and seems like it happened yesterday - very powerful.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

She seemed serious, concerned.  She was not smiling.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I've spent a lot of time with my mother and it seemed like her energy and appearance and there was a mental connection, a recognition.  I know it was my mother and I know she went to a great deal of effort to make it make to help me for I would soon need courage and need to know without doubt that the soul survives

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Awe, grateful, happy.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

My mother was in a great deal of pain at the end and clinging to life and a bit agitated with everyone around her.  She was not herself, saying threatening things progressively as she came closer to death.  It was coming from fear but very upsetting to witness.  She was grasping, desperate, she had no peace - this started my quest for more information. I've prayed for her soul, that it would call out for help, go towards the light.  Shocking, because she was very religious but it was in vain at the end and did not serve her well. She was on morphine but I do not believe she was given a strong enough dose.  It was a horrible death and I was sent home by hospice to get some sleep( she was in a nursing home after hospitalization, too sick to be home) and it was then that she left her body; in the middle of the night I got the call and came back and closed her eyes.  I've had terrible guilt about not staying over, being with her, but it would have  been impossible for me to stay up 234 hours - my brother had seen her the week before to say goodbye, he was on the west coast, my father was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and behaving badly - so I was exhausted and went.  The experience taught me a lot about forgiveness.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was getting to see my mother once more; the worst was that she wasn't smiling.  I hope she is happy.  I've come to feel it is because she knows I am ill and there is suffering ahead for me, which would make her sad.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      It has affected my daily life, relationships, I have less fear and more peace.  I want to take the high road, I pray for all whom I love and for others in need and give thanks for each new day.  Colors seem brighter, I notice the trees, nature, stop and smell the roses.  I live in the moment far more.  I believe that everything that comes serves a higher purpose for growth and i do not fight with what comes.  I am preparing myself to have a peaceful death after seeing my mother become so frightened.           

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I knew without doubt my mother, her spirit, that which she always was, was still and felt she cared deeply for me to make the effort to appear to me.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I now know it is true that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  i know I am not my body or my thoughts and that there is much spiritual guidance and love always with me.  I listen to my own intuition more and feel less concerned with the material things, focus on the inner rather than the problems of the world.  I have learned much from reading the most exceptional accounts of Near Death Experiencers, those who bring back Truth that resonate deeply within.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

More in jest, but my mother and I did discuss her becoming an angle to me, that I would welcome her guidance.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I was happy but crying, think I even feel to my knees.  I felt very, very blessed to have had the experienced.  I had no doubt whatsoever, from the beginning my mother had visited me.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

I was at first in a lucid state not fully conscious, her sudden appearance, without dialogue, or animation, or a dream story that provided a part for her - it was sudden without memories of anything beforehand. Unconscious and then conscious of her being there - she woke me up but I realized I had been asleep and was still semi-conscious.  After realizing what had happened I studied her face and said to myself :that's my mother."  The I woke up.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

Because of the background and the feeling of her not being on this earth, it had the feeling of a different realm which I could see into, but mostly the focus was her face, which was very close, face-to-face positioning.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?  No

Did you see a light?           No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     My friends are like minded and do not disbelieve my experience.  I have also shared it in two group meetings.  No one questioned me but listened with interest.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

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