Yesterday, March 14th.

Leaving in the morning to watch my 11 yr old dance, unknown to me it was a surprise dedication to her grandfather, my husband. I could hear him say I wasn't dressed warm enough. " Have to keep my baby warm", I could hear him say. I turned around and changed coats. Returning to my car leaving the event our song was on the radio. "I don't want to miss a thing". Then I was off to my 16 yr old granddaughters fundraiser. She is going to Costa Rica this summer to learn scuba and study wildlife in impoverished countries, he was so excited for her. "Tiny Dancer", the song I walked to my husband on our wedding day is on the radio. I return home after a long day. I decide to open dreaded mail, I pray to husband to please let it be good news. It was good news and I say out loud "thank you baby'. I sit down on the couch,look at the clock, it is 8:20 pm.

My dog starts to act up. Throwing toys, jumping on back of couch, but looks very happy. Suddenly and swiftly, and I thought I heard a swoosh, I can smell and feel my husband on my face. On my chest he moves right in. I can see his freckles on his shoulders. I can see his damp hair right in front of my eyes. I can't see him physically, but I see these things. It makes no sense to me, but I can. I know at this moment it is making no sense, but can see, and smell him, and feel him in my arms. I really am holding him. Closer than ever in real life, like he is part way in my chest. My head rests against his. I am wide awake, crying quietly, speaking to him quietly, as I don't want him to leave. I look at the dog and I know he sees the same. This lasts for 5 minutes or more. I am so afraid during this that the phone will ring or someone will interrupt this, at the same time trying to not let myself be distracted by these thoughts. I feel guilty that I was the one that let him go. He was not leaving. I was becoming so physically exhausted I couldn't hold on anymore. Again, I felt spiritually renewed, with a sense of safety and refreshed, but physically drained. My shirt was damp when it was all over.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?        Yes

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    see above

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?      a sense of communication. Externally but not actually physically, if that makes any sense.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           Always his voice

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No, although I have suffered from a buzzing in my ears that sometimes lasts for days. Dr cannot determine why.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes

Held his hand

Felt him pass by me, very close

Held him

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Familiar

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Safety

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

Healthy

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Clearly, but not physically, cannot describe

            How much of the deceased did you see?       Parts

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       Yes age of death

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            healthy

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           Just "his" smell

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     Yes...him

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   I am here

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?     No

How long did the experience last?        November, I can't determine

Yesterday 10 minutes?

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         starts out sudden with a swoosh, ends gradually

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Greatest love

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I just do.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

First time in November I believe I was sleeping

March, yesterday, I was wide awake

What did you feel (while awake) immediately prior to your experience?            Relaxed          
Happy                

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Relieved of news mail brought. Emotional happy day, knowing Larry must be so proud of the granddaughters. Missing him, of course, every night.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I know he loves me still

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best is feeling the the love.

The worst is it makes me miss him even more.

Saying goodbye again

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:      These visits help me heal and keep me stable for a while             

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No       Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes            They are all around us

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?   Yes

I promised him that I would visit him

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            contentment

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Uncertain

Our dog

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

In November

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I just was in awe. Indescribable.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?  No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

November I am not sureDid you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Uncertain

I have in the past. Not during these times. I used to meditate, but stopped because I believe I was starting to leave my body. I would start to see a line of white transparent silhouettes, and it scared me. So I stopped.

Did you see a light?           Yes

In November, a great light

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?          Yes

I know he took me places, I just know where and I don't remember it all.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I only tell people who will believe me

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?            No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?       Yes 

As explained above with meditation.

I had a visit from my mother 10 years ago. She actually had me touch her lips.