Larry M's ADC
Home Page Share Experience New Experiences


Experience description:  

I was woken up at about 6:15 am in Los Angeles. I had an overpowering external sense of loss, sadness, regret, and some feeling of affection or connection. "External" meaning I did not feel that these feelings were mine, but rather were given to me by some other source, some other person. The feelings lasted about one or two minutes. During this time I was crying. I don't cry, in my memory this is one of two times I have cried since I turned 20. I also had the strong sense that the feelings came from someone female. 

During this time I was a graduate student in theoretical physics. Later that same day I attended a lecture on Quantum Field Theory at Caltech. 

The previous December I had gotten my girlfriend pregnant. While I was fine with her pregnancy, she was strongly ambivalent, excited at the notion of starting a family and terrified that she would make a lousy mother. Her own mother had been hospitalized during her youth due to mental illness and she feared the same would happen to her. 

I learned two days later that at the exact time I was woken up with these feelings, she was in Pittsburgh PA undergoing an abortion - the abortion apparently started at 8:30am EST. 

There were no effects on my normal senses, nothing visual, auditory, tactile. 

I was not able to ascertain the sex of the fetus, sorry.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  No

 Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No

 At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    The entire time.

 How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      Normal consciousness and alertness  

Did your vision during the experience differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any way, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?   No  

Did you have any visual impairment during your normal everyday life immediately prior to the time of the experience?   No  

Did your hearing during the experience differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any way, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?         No  

Did you have any hearing impairment during your normal everyday life immediately prior to the time of the experience?   No  

Did you experience consciousness / awareness apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring at a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body that you later (after your experience) verified really happened or was real?   No  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body that you later (after your experience) verified did not really happen or was not real?   No  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical body that were located far beyond any possible physical sensory awareness of your physical / earthly body?   No

 What emotions did you feel during the experience?   sadness, loss  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth, but whose earthly lives had ended prior to the time of your experience (they were deceased)?   Yes   My daughter.

 Did you encounter or become aware of any earthly beings who were alive at the time of your experience (they were not deceased)?   No     

Did you become aware of past events in your life?   No  

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   I must say, were I to have one of these NDEs I would quickly try to learn as much physics as I could. I'm deeply disappointed that so many say they suddenly understood all of life and science, but bring nothing back to us.

 Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No  

Did scenes from the future come to you?  Neither 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there is continued existence after earthly life (life after death)?   Yes   My daughter was clinically dead at the fetal age of roughly four months, but had no problem communicating with me.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there is no continued existence after earthly life (no life after death)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being really does exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being really does not exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that some or all of us currently living our earthly lives did have some type of existence prior to our current earthly lives?   Yes   Life clearly does not start at birth, but sometime shortly after conception. For the record, I'm now against abortion but I'm not at all an activist or proselytizer.

 During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that some or all of us currently living our earthly lives did not have some type of existence prior to our current earthly lives?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there exists a mystical connection, oneness, or unity that connects some or all of us currently living our earthly lives with something else, such as other being(s) or other thing(s)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there does not exist a mystical connection, oneness, or unity that connects some or all of us currently living our earthly lives with something else, such as other being(s) or other thing(s)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly lifes meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly lifes difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Previously I was agnostic on the time a fetus became a human. Now I believe the spirit enters the fetus at or nearly at the time of conception and helps guide the development of the fetus. I also believe that abortion is some serious karma.

 How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience  

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I became quite curious about ki, or life force, or souls, or whatever name you would choose. I continue this curiosity.

 Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I think abortion is a very poor choice, a choice with persistent echoes and ramifications. I think in many cases we choose our parents and life situations to give us the challenges we require at this time.

 Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of the experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   redundant

 Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes a few years. I was believed.

 Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I have no scientific answer to this, it's all feelings.

 What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I have no scientific answer to this, it's all feelings.

 Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I have a completely different view of my relationship with women, the sort of women I tend to select, the sort of problems I bring on myself and my children due to my poor selection process. I haven't dated in several years.

 Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   no

 Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes  

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        give me some clues about fundamental physics. Especially gravity. I'd settle for some molecular biology - DNA clearly isn't enough, so what are we missing?