I have been psychic all my life to a certain degree, having many spiritual experiences. This last one was of my sister, Denise. She died last October, 2013 from  fighting cervical cancer  for almost 4 years. We were extremely close in a family of 11 brothers and sisters (including my sister and I.) We were next to each other in the family, me being almost 3 years older than her.

 Denise was very assertive, bubbly, loving and caring and a very hard worker. She was a peacemaker and loved children, she was immensely popular and had loads of friends and was the family favorite. She was also extremely nervous, not in a scared sense, but mentally in that she had many nervous ticks, due to us being abused as children by our father.

  Denise was pregnant at the same time as I was over 24 years ago, but she lost her son in her sixth month of pregnancy.

 I missed Denise's death due to bitching and rivalry in the family and our own mother being cruel, evil and spiteful to me when Denise was dying. She wouldn't even let me hold Denise's hand as she lay dying, and she and some of my other cruel relatives were picking on me and calling me, so I went home. When Denise died my mum and her favorite daughter stole Denise's money and sold her stuff. My other sisters' and my two brothers are disgusted with my mum and sister's thievery and the treatment I received when Denise was dying. Denise was closer to me than any of the others and I was to her too in my siblings.

  I had another dream with Denise in, previous to this dream and other spiritual experiences, but last night the dream I had with Denise in seemed extremely real and life like. I can still feel her touch on me.

 It started with me opening the door to an old, broken down house. I went inside and it was the same house as in my last dream with Denise in. It was dark and dirty in the house with all broken, old furniture, the same as in the last dream, too. Denise was standing in the middle of the dark room as I opened the front door and she was wearing the same clothes as in my last dream of her. She had on a cropped summer blouse which tied at the belly button and and a pair of jeans. She was stood there looking at me smiling and I called out to her and shouted, 'Denise, it's you !' I was smiling and feeling elated and I ran into her open arms and we hugged and kissed. She was healthy and well and she told me she was enjoying her new life and was well now and not for me to worry and for me to be happy and not upset, because she was fine and was around me. She told me she was with her son, Timothy. She didn't have her nervous ticks. Then we looked around the house and she said we used to live there one time. It was full of old, scruffy, dirty furniture and it was in the dark still.

 Then Denise took me to a room she said was hers and she picked up this cardboard box, which was spotless and I could see it clearly as I could see Denise clearly. Denise opened the cardboard box, which was as big as a box of chocolates, and in it there were envelopes, cards and photos, lots of them. We were kneeling on the floor and Denise spread them out in a line and then she said,' Look, I got these for you lot, they are for you all.' Then she pointed to one of them and said it was a card for one of my sisters' she had put away and that my sister had not been given it.

 Then we stood up and Denise and I were hugging and kissing tightly and I didn't want to let go, we were both smiling and joyous. I was asking her to stay with me and that I missed her, but she said she had to go and that I would see her again, but she had been resting and recovering and would come again to see me. She told me that she is always with me and not to worry and get upset and to enjoy my life. She was extremely compassionate and caring, she was always like that in life, but now it seems to emanate from her and there seemed some extreme wisdom and serenity to her compassion. She said she was well now and her old self, but that the new life is Love and Compassion. Then she led me to the front door, all the time hugging and kissing me and smiling. I could feel her touch and kisses. I went to the door and it opened and it was daylight outside. I turned to Denise, but she couldn't go outside the door. After that I was sort of floating and seeing places, flats, etc and Denise said,' These were places you have lived' to me as I floated pass them. I only heard Denise's voice then, she wasn't with me. Then I came to a bungalow and the dream ended. I live in a bungalow now. The bungalow wasn't mine though.

 I woke up and I could feel and sense that Denise had been with me and I had hugged and kissed her. It felt extremely real and I felt tearful but joyous all day and I could feel Denise's love and compassion, as if it was healing me. I feel a sense of contentment and coming to terms with Denise's loss now. All day I have felt like someone is touching me.

 I know she is with her son, Timothy, in a place filled with love, joy and contentment.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     No  

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   yes          

Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?   my sister spoke as if she was standing here speaking to me 

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     same     

Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no  

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   yes, I have hearing difficulties, but I was in dream state

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   yes  

Describe where and how you were touched:     my sister was hugging and kissing me

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   familiar, but seemed powerfully loving, as if she was giving me some special hugs  

Was anything communicated by the touch?   yes,

love, compassion, peace, reassurance, closeness

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no

Did you see the deceased?   yes    looked like before she had cancer, seemed extremely caring and a sense of extreme compassion around. her clothes were shining in a white light, though they were clothes she would normally wear.

How clearly did the deceased appear?   solid

How much of the deceased did you see?    all

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?   a few years younger, before she got cancer and was healthy

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?    very healthy and well and walking

denise was very ill and had withered to an skeletal state and could not walk before she died with the cancer.

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?    no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?   

What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?    yes, but that was another couple of times ago

Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?    cigarette smoke

Was anything communicated by the smell?    my sister was near

Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?    no

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   yes     she was buoyant and happy and was compassionate and loving and concerned for me

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   yes

she showed me a cardboard box with letters, cards and envelopes in and she said she had them for me and all my siblings.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    experience was definitely real    because it didn't just seem like a dream and it felt like Denise was really hugging me and kissing me. I can still feel her touch.

Was the experience dream like in any way?    yes    only because it was in a dream

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    yes   

loss of depression and  calming of grief

feeling joyous

being able to cry and feel the comfort

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    the best part was hugging and kissing and being with my sister. the worst part was having to leave her and being in a dark, dirty house.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    yes    I feel more at peace and a release of pain and tension.   

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?        felt more towards belief

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    yes    more belief. we learn about love and forgiving and wise learning in heaven.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   uncertain too early to know yet.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    no   

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       uncertain    not sure what time it was.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        uncertain    not sure. i felt that compassion was there in the extreme and wisdom

Did you become aware of future events?           uncertain    not sure yet, too early

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         I have had them before this experience and since having many other experiences.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    uncertain    not sure due to dream state

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?        my living sister

Did you see a light?    yes    extremely bright, dazzling, pure white and emitted love and caring. it stretched out like fire in huge flames. It was extremely inviting.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?       yes, in a dirty, dark, big, old fashioned house

Have you shared this experience with others?    yes    my sisters and friends. ambivalence and belief and curiosity to feeling peace.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    no    I will do though probably

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?    it has given me a sense of peace and acceptance.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No    I A

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   no    only just happened

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      yes    loads