For the last 18 months, my maternal aunt had been battling cancer.  We were about 9 years apart and were close.  When she got very sick, I was in college and did not visit her often.  I never had been comfortable in hospitals when family members were dying.  As a result I had been staying away.  I felt a lot of guilt about that at the time.  I did speak to my aunt on the phone and sent her cards and letters.  We spoke about death, dying and God a lot when we communicated.  She told me two weeks before she died that she was ready to die and hoped that Jesus would take her soon because she did not want to suffer anymore.  She said that she would always watch over us.  I had been going to daily mass for a month to pray for her. 

On April 18, 1994, while kneeling in my college chapel before the start of daily mass (their were only two of us there that day) I felt a large energy presence floating above me.  I remember looking up although I do not remember what I saw if anything.  I remember the feeling like the energy was in a geometrical shape, while my memory is no longer certain, I think it was a trapezoid.  The energy was like electricity and then it went inside of me through my head.  My entire body was full of adrenaline like I had never felt before.  It felt 100 times more powerful than anything I have ever felt before or since.  I'm not sure how long it lasted but it was probably seconds although it seemed longer.  I believe it stopped instantly.  My vision was seriously affected for about an hour.  I could not focus on anything nearby and things far away seemed magnified.  For example, I could not read the hymnal, words seemed blurry but I could see the finest grains in the wood across the room.  I told my roommate about the experience right away and he was at a loss for words.  I remember saying that I thought my aunt had likely passed on. 

Mass lasted about 25 minutes and afterwards we went to the cafeteria for dinner.  I could not eat because of the lingering problems with my eyes and the overall shock from the experience.  I don't remember talking much during dinner.  I kept mostly silent.  When I returned to my room about 65 minutes after the experience, I had a voice mail from my mother stating that my aunt has passed away at several minutes before 4 PM, which was exactly the time that the experience happened.  My mother and maternal grandparents had been at the hospital when my aunt had breathed her last breath and somehow 60 miles away I had been a part of that experience.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?

Yes

Yes because the experience was not visual, but was physical.  It was such a wild experience that it was hard to discuss with anyone at school.  Too this day I regret not going to speak with the priests about it directly after mass.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?

Uncertain

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         

No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         

Uncertain

There was some sort of physical contact but it was not person to person but rather energy.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? 

It resembled most closely to how I used to feel before playing in varsity high school football games on Friday nights under the lights.  This feeling of adrenaline was much more intense.

          Was anything communicated by the touch? 

While I did not hear a voice, I took the experience to mean that our energy/being continues on after our Earthly death.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        

no, not possible.  I am as sure of this experience as anything I have ever been sure of.

Did you see the deceased?       

No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?  

No comment

How long did the experience last?      

The initial experience lasted probably less than 30 seconds although it seemed longer.  Problems with my vision lasted about an hour.  My equilibrium was also off for at least 40 minutes although I was not sure if that was due to my vision.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         

the beginning was sort of gradual while the end was abrupt although there were lingering effects for an hour.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?         

Uncertain

I think "full of life" is what I sensed.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

no - not verbally anyway

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?        

Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:  

I felt it and it was as real as could be

          Was the experience dream like in any way? 

No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:         

exhilarating, full of energy

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?         

Yes

I felt better about my aunt's passing

What was the best and worst part of your experience?   

Everything about the experience was amazing.  The worst part afterwards was trying to interpret it and wishing I could relive it.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?      

Yes                Describe:    

I have had a strong interest in personal spiritual development (although I have a long, long way to go).  I have realized that my calling is to help others and have taken a job which allows me to do that.  I have made choices in my career that have hurt my family's income but has left me feeling more content with what I do for a living.  My outlook on life is different from most of my friends.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?            Yes    I became much more inclusive in my beliefs on religion and spirituality.  I felt like I knew "God" a little bit better.  I was absolutely sure that there is life after death.  I felt like I was given proof.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         

Yes    That life does not end with our Earthly death.  Our Energy continues on.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?     

Uncertain

A few weeks before she died, my aunt promised that she would always watch over me and my siblings and that she would be present in spirit at important family functions.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?        

No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?         

confused but at peace with my Aunt's passing

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?         

Yes

my college roommate was right next to me, but he felt nothing and noticed nothing.  I told him right afterwards.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? 

Yes

Altered space, in the sense that my vision was impaired in some ways for about an hour afterwards.  I was having trouble focusing on objects nearby and objects across the room were magnified - I was seeing them as if they were under a magnifying glass right next to me.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    

Yes

I just knew that no matter how sick we are in this lifetime, when we leave we have more energy then we have ever felt in our Earthly bodies.  I knew that this energy continued on and did not end with a person's physical death.

Did you become aware of future events?     

No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?           Yes

That expereince was the start of future visits by my aunt and my paternal grandfather in dreams.  The general theme of those visits seems to be reminders that the deceased are happy, healthy and youthful on the other side and that they still care deeply for us.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?         

Uncertain

While I was not physically separated from my body, the energy I felt above me and then inside of me was unlike anything I have ever felt before or after.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?     

No

Did you see a light?        

Uncertain

I remember looking above me, but cannot recall what I was seeing while the experience happened.  It was so intense that the sense of touch took over all other senses temporarily.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?        

No

Have you shared this experience with others?       

Yes    I shared it with close family members right after it happened.  I think most of them believed me.  For at least several generations, some people on my maternal and paternal sides of the family have had "visits" and have seen super natural things so people I told were not all that surprised.  I think that some were let down that they did not have the experience - although a few of them have been visited in dreams since.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  

No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

At this time I had never used any sort of drugs in my entire life.  I was on no medications nor was I impaired in any way.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   

No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? 

Yes 

When my wife was having a very difficult time in her life, I saw who we believe to be her deceased grandmother sitting in the passenger seat of her car while my wife was driving.  I was driving in front of her and saw this for an instant in my rear view mirror.  I have also had several very strong meditation experiences, one which felt like I was going to leave my body although I did not.  The rest of my experiences have been visits in dreams.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?          

Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.  

I feel that the questions were quite adequate.  Thank you for this opportunity.  If you have any suggested reading or other suggestions on where I can get additional information I would be interested in knowing that.  I'd also be interested to know if my experience is similar to others that you have heard of.