First one: my daughter was standing at the side of my bed, as she often did in life, her arms extended, her hair down (she always wore it in a pony tail), glowing, happy, joyful, free. Second one: in a 'dream' (but not a dream), she sat next to me as I mourned. Third one, in a 'dream' (but not a dream) she appeared and said, 'I didn't know I was sick'. Fourth and last, in a 'dream' (but not a dream, there's an enormous difference between dreaming and visions), we hugged, we talked (for what seemed like a long time), I looked into her blue eyes and asked, 'Are you in hell' and she answered, 'When you are grieving, in pain, anxious, despairing, praise Him.'

Was this experience difficult to express in words? Yes

The absolute truth of it

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes

Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: I heard her tell me she did not know she was sick (and this is true), I heard her tell me to praise God when I am suffering; I also heard her tell me many things that I do not remember.

Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? A voice, external

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? It was definitely her voice

Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes

We hugged, closely, as we often did

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? It was definitely her, very familiar

Was anything communicated by the touch? Great love and comfort

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No

Did you see the deceased? Yes

Free of horror and sorrow (she was profoundly mentally ill); joyful; beautiful; glowing

How clearly did the deceased appear? Solid, all four times

How much of the deceased did you see? All of her

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? At her age 23, I saw no physical difference

How healthy did the deceased appear to be? In absolutely glowing joy

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last? First one, upon seeing her I thought to myself, 'Grab her, bring her to you' and she disappeared; second one, a few seconds; third one, a few seconds; last one seemed like at least half an hour

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? First one, sudden; second and third, sudden. Fourth, natural end, not abrupt, a passing of information and wisdom from her to me

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes

Joyful, free, fully informed, loving, attentive, concerned, eternal connection

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Third one, she told me she did not know she was 'sick' (and that is true). Fourth and last, I believe she told me things I am not supposed to 'remember' in the flesh, long conversation. And then she told me what to do: Praise 'Him' (God) during times of despair.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real

Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: I am a lucid dreamer. I have invented entire cities in recurrent dreams, elaborate 'shops' and 'streets', even 'know my way around' these places. A dream is quite different from a 'vision', there is a distinct absolute reality about it, you know it did not come from 'inside you', it is not an unconscious expression, it is a soul experience. I have absolutely no doubt those four visits were from my daughter, absolutely no doubt.

Was the experience dream like in any way? No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Amazed at the gift of God to me, grateful, empowered, validated my psychic abilities. We do not 'die'.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

She was allowed to come to me. I believe this is part of the NDE I had, the promise I was given.

What was the best and worst part of your experience? there is no 'worst'

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Describe: The gift of 'knowledge' I received during my NDE becomes, slowly, part of my consciousness. I believe there is more to come.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? No

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes My lifelong relationship with God and my 'psychic' abilities make sense. I do not *understand* the purpose of life but I know there is one

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Many years ago, I communicated with someone who had passed. I never repeated that as I was *stopped* immediately afterward. I know my abilities are not meant for that. I know the soul exists (I did, after all, have an NDE and it was reported to NDERF years ago). Although I know where my daughter 'is', and that I will 'see' her again, I still grieve the loss of her physical presence.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes

The last felt as if it lasted at least fifteen minutes but it must have been seconds

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes

I have always had this knowledge

Did you become aware of future events? Yes

I have a sense of the month and year of my death, don't know how accurate it will prove to be

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes

I have always had these

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes

This experience does not involve conscious, unconscious, it involves the seat of the soul which I call the subconscious

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? No

Did you see a light? No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? Yes

Two of the four appeared to be in the house we shared; the first was at the side of my bed in a place to which I had recently moved; the last transcended any 'place'

Have you shared this experience with others?

Yes Yes, people have been comforted

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? Yes

My NDE was shared with NDERF (years ago) and IANDS (recently). The experiences with my daughter were shared in closed groups with grieving mothers.

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? I am not hallucinatory or mentally ill. I have had a unique spiritual awareness for my entire lifetime and can actually remember being a baby in my crib. I have premonitions that are proven true; I apparently 'communicate' telepathically with people fairly easily (for my entire life). I have absolutely no doubt that the soul exists and is eternal.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes

At my age five, I had a vision of whom I believe to be the Blessed Mother. I was warned about my life, told it would be 'very difficult', told God would 'never leave' me, asked if I was willing to do this. I was extremely sick with double pneumonia at the time. I do not know if this was an NDE but it was definitely NOT a febrile hallucination (I had one, I know the difference). I was given the number '23' which has proven enormously significant in my life. I have had many, many spiritual experiences in my lifetime, including several that actually saved my life.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain

It's impossible to explain something like this with words