Experience description:
I
was laying in bed getting ready to fall asleep when I felt the presence of my
spirit guide standing next to my bed, I relaxed when I realized it was him (I
don't know who my spirit guide is, but I can sense it's a male). However, as I
was closing my eyes to go to sleep my spirit guide walked out of the bedroom. It
was then that I closed my eyes and I could very clearly see my cousin Alex's
face. He smiled at me, and though his lips didn't move, I could hear him telling
me that he was okay and that he made it, that I didn't need to worry anymore, he
made it ok and he was ok. I could not respond to him but I was able to just
smile. Immediately after he said this to me I could feel the sadness and
heaviness from his death leave my chest. There is much question as to why a 28
y/o would die from a heart attack, so I was very bothered by why he had so
suddenly passed. I was also feeling sad about that fact that I could not be
closer to him and my other cousins, our family is large and not very close. But
all of those feelings left me when he said those words to me. I was not scared
by any manner or feeling disturbed. Interestingly enough, the day before my
cousin died I had a random funny thought about him, a good memory from our
shared grandparents house. Understand that I do not think of my other family on
a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, so this was a VERY random thought. Alex
died on a Sunday night/Monday morning 8/28 - 8/29 (unsure of the time). That
Saturday, 9/3, after he had passed, I was getting into my truck to head for work
and a small whitish gray colored dove feather laid on my driver side windshield
wiper. I immediately thought to myself, Alex was here to visit me. Tuesday the
6th was when I had my experience.
Was this experience difficult to express in words?
No
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the
deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?
No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something
associated with the deceased?
Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was
communicated:
My cousin told me that
he was ok, that he made it ok and I didn't need to worry anymore.
Did the voice or sound seem to
originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice
or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?
It seemed to be coming from inside of me, I could
hear what he was saying though his mouth wasn't moving. But it also seemed like
I had a sense of knowing what he was saying to me also
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar
from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?
His voice was similar to what I remember it
sounding like
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other
source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?
No there were no other sounds, I was laying in bed
next to my significant other who was also trying to fall asleep
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time
of the experience?
No
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical
contact from the deceased?
No
Did you see the deceased?
Yes
The only thing I could see was Alex's face, and it seemed similar to how I
remember him looking
How clearly did the deceased appear?
I could clearly see his face in full color
How much of the deceased did you see?
Only his face
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which
they died?
He appeared to be the age he was when he died
How healthy did the deceased appear to be?
He looked happy and healthy, like he felt 100% okay
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other
source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?
No, I do not have any pictures of my cousins nor have I seen any pictures of him
in many years
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance
or odor associated with the deceased?
No
How long did the experience last?
less than a minute
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
more sudden, when I shut my eyes he appeared and as soon as he was finished
telling me he was ok, it was like I shut my eyes again and when I opened them he
was gone
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?
Yes
He seemed happy and at peace with his death, reassuring that he made it
where ever he was going and that he was ok
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?
Other than that he was ok given his sudden death, no he didn't say anything else
How do you currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was
definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
I believe that my experience was real because just
seeing his face and then hearing him tell me that he was ok and physically
feeling my sad and heavy emotions about his death leave my body as he said what
he said to me, there is no chance this did not happen.
Was the experience dream like in any way?
Yes
It was dream like in the sense that I saw him when I closed my eyes. I KNOW
I was not sleeping when he visited me, because after he left I opened my eyes
again, smiled and laid there for a while living in the experience and the
feelings associated with it
Describe in detail
your feelings/emotions during the experience:
I felt extremely calm during the experience, when Alex smiled at me and told me
he was alright, I could feel the sadness about his passing leaving my chest. As
if someone was standing over me and lifted the heavy rock off my chest. Like I
could breath more freely.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Yes
Before my experience I would think about Alex and cry. After my experience
I can freely think about him and the fun times we had all together and I just
feel happiness and reassurance that he's alright
What was the best and worst part of your experience?
The best part about my experience was that he told me he was ok and I
didn't have to worry any more. The worst part of my experience was that he
didn't give me more detail about where he was or what really happened to him.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of
your experience?
Yes
Describe:
Before I was nervous
about after life and having my spirit guide following me around. My spirit guide
has followed me for a number of years, but has never talked to me, I can just
feel his presence. Like I'm not alone even if no one is in the house. Now I feel
more open to contact and accepting of what could happen. I feel more trusting of
my first gut feeling than questioning all that time why things happen.
Did you have any changes of
attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
No
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings
such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?
Uncertain I feel like I am sure there is a
after life, however I am not sure where Alex is. So I wonder where he really is
at, like if he's in heaven or if he's a spirit guide now to his siblings. I'm
curious as to where he went.
Death Compacts are when two
or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try
to contact the other(s). Have you ever
made such a compact?
No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events
during your experience that could be verified later?
No
What emotions did you feel during
the experience?
I felt extreme calmness and happiness that he was ok. A lot of
relief that I didn't need to worry or wonder about him anymore.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?
No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes
It was like he was visiting me on a different level in my own
consciousness. But I was very much awake, I don't know how else to explain it.
Like if my own spirit lived on a different level then my present conscience, it
was like he was telling my spirit he was ok, not me to my face. If that makes
sense?
Did you have a sense of knowing,
special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No
Did you become aware of future
events?
No
Did you have any psychic,
paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have
prior to the experience?
No
Did you experience a separation of
your consciousness from your body?
Uncertain
It was almost like an out of body experience, but I couldn't
see myself laying in bed, it was like I delved deeper into my own sub conscious
because it was just like a black/gray misty background behind Alex, I could only
see his head, not even his neck
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?
No
Did you see a light?
Uncertain
It was kind of lighter around his head but not significantly
Did any part of your experience
seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?
No
Have you shared this experience
with others?
Yes I
shared the experience with my professor at school. She has long studied after
life and spirits, as she is the one I confided in about my spirit guide (she's
the one that told me its a spirit guide). When I explained to her what happened,
she told me that it was an after death contact. She said that my cousin gave me
a special gift because he could sense that I was disturbed about his death. Even
with my random thought about him the day before he died, the spirits were
preparing for him to come to the other side and because I am sensitive to
spiritual presence, I could pick up on the vibes that his spirit was going on a
different path. Even though I wasn't aware at the time that he was going to die.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with
any other researcher or web site?
No
Were there any associated medications or substances with
the potential to affect the experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in
your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the
experience?
No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of
body experience or other spiritual event?
No
Did the questions asked and
information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Yes