Jennifer's
ADC
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My little brother and I were very close. Growing up we only had each other, my mom worked away often. Anyway, by the time we were adults we knew each other so well we could joke without saying a word. I knew what every face he made meant. He was always the bright person in a room. I know people always say that when someone dies, but in this case it was true. He was always the center of attention. He and Jackie met at a bar, she was just as fun, and at times, loud as him. Soon after they met, Jackie moved in with Jamie and very soon there after, she was expecting Jamie's first child. Jackie loved Jamie with all of her heart, and he loved her, but they were young and had so many things to face, not much money, and she fought everyday with an addiction to pain pills. Jamie didn't know how to handle the problem, looking back none of us did. Jamie was in the service and was about to go overseas for three months. They fought often over what would happen when he left, he didn't think she could take care of their newborn child while fighting with her addiction. She was terrified to get help for her problem. Jamie and I had finally agreed that Jackie and the baby would stay with me while he was away. I never found out what Jackie thought of the plan.
On April 3, I got a call from my brother that he was leaving work early to go home and face Jackie, he had gotten a call from the bank that she had tried to get some money and he was worried that she might have been looking for pills. I was supposed to get the baby that night after work, (It was just my weekend to spend time with her) he asked me to get her early. My mother brought the baby to me, and later I called my brother to ask how things were going. He told me that everything was fine, that she just needed money for gas and things and they were going to stay in and watch some movies and catch up on their sleep. I went on about my day, playing with the baby.. My husband is a police officer and was not home when the baby and I laid down for the night. I must have fallen to sleep around 10 that night.
I don't know how the dream started. I just know that my brother and I had been talking for awhile, I knew we had been talking about his daughter, and what we were going to do, but I kept on talking as if we were taking about him leaving the country. Then, just in a space of a few seconds everything started to click for me. the expression on his face was wrong for our conversation. I had made a joke and he didn't laugh. He told me to fight, He said I would have to fight for his daughter. That I needed to make sure she would be safe, and loved. Again, I knew something wasn't right by the look on his face, it looked almost like regret. No anger, no fear, more like disappointment. But, still I kept talking as if we were speaking about him leaving the country. I said " Jamie, I will take care of your daughter, I would give my life to see that she is safe and happy. You know if Jackie tried to harm her I would have her in court and fight her so fast that she wouldn't even see it coming..." Then I heard Jackie's voice, she sounded aggravated, she said "I don't want to fight her Jamie" But, Jamie didn't act as if her heard her, he just starred at me as if he was disappointed. Then all at once I just understood. I don't know how, I don't know why. He didn't say anything about being dead, I just knew. All at once I felt like there was a space in my heart that was full just moments before.. He said take care of mine, I got yours.. and then my husband woke me up.
When I opened my eyes the pain in my heart was so great it was a physical thing. I can still remember the way it went through me, loss.. I looked at my husband and said "Just tell me" he said "baby, I need to talk to you I need you to wake up" I said "Brian, I'm awake, just say it" he said "No, honey, I have to talk to you and I need you to wake up, I need you get up" that's when I started to shake.. I told him "Brian, I had a dream about him" he just looked at me, he didn't know what I was talking about really, then I asked " Is Jamie dead?" he looked shocked that I had guessed what he was going to tell me, but said "they had gone to the saloon, people at the bar said they had started to argue and left around 1:15 am, the truck was found about two miles from the saloon, they had both been drinking.. They airlifted Jackie from the site to the hospital, she wasn't conscious at the site, she had been driving and they believe she was going too fast to control the truck, they don't think she is going to make it, they're going to do everything they can but they don't think they can stop the bleeding in her brain. Jamie was thrown from the truck, he was pronounced dead at the site. "
All I could do is say,
I dreamed about him, I was right there, I had a dream about him, I just kept
saying Jamie Im so sorry. It was 3:39 am when my husband finally got the courage
to come home and wake me up to tell me my brother was dead. He was no where near
me when he got the call, I couldn't have overheard him while I slept, I couldn't
have subconsciously lived out one last goodbye, I had no reason to. I couldn't
have but that look on my brothers face. I couldn't have known to ask Brian if
Jamie was dead if I hadn't had that dream. I wouldn't have known to tell him I
had dreamed about Jamie before he opened his mouth. I live with the loss of my
brother and Jackie everyday. We have adopted my niece, and I would still lay
down my life to keep her safe. There isn't a day that has passed that I don't
think about my brother telling me to fight for her. I had a son that past away
ten years ago, that's when I knew Jamie had said goodbye, when he said " Take
care of mine, I got yours" I knew he meant my son. I knew he meant his daughter,
I knew he was gone before I woke up...
Was this
experience difficult to express in words?
Uncertain
I don't have trouble
expressing how I felt, but I think it would be very difficult to make people
understand what the experience really means. I still have trouble believing all
that this experience confirms as fact. So much to take in, yet so very little in
the way of explanation.. And, so sad. So very hard to deal with the fact that I
had only a split second to understand fully what was going on before my husband
woke me up... It hurts more than I could put into words that I had the chance to
say so much and didn't understand I wasn't dreaming until it was to late.
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
It wasn't like
all other dreams, but there wasn't anything about it that I could point out that
made it different. There wasn't a place behind us. We were just standing in
nothing, not dark, not bright, just that the background didn't matter. I felt as
if we were really standing in front of each other talking. We never touched,
hugged nothing, he was maybe three feet in front of me. When I heard Jackie's
voice, it came from high on the right side of where we were standing, but she
wasn't there. I still don't know if he heard her, or if he was ignoring her. If
he was unhappy with her, he would have ignored her just like that, but he wasn't
being childish or petty, so I don't think he could hear her.. I don't know..
Did
the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you,
or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was
communicated? I
have no idea how the first part went, I just remember I had a since that we had
been talking a while and time was running out.. the middle of the dream was just
as if we were standing anywhere talking, than at the end... I just knew.. I knew
everything he was trying to tell me without him saying anything at all.. I just
knew.. I figured it was the look on his face that gave clued me in, than his
comment about taking care of his, he had mine... that clenched it. I felt his
loss before I woke up though, that I will never forget.
If
you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound
the deceased made when they were alive?
I don't remember him
sounding any different.. just his expression was more.. Grown up or serious than
he usually was.. He liked to joke around..
Is
there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
none. While I was
asleep, I was alone in the house with the baby. When my husband got the call he
waited more than an hour before he came home, and when he got there, he had no
one to tell but me... There was no way for me to have known, but the dream..
Was
there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?
no. I was
sleeping on the sofa. The baby was sleeping right beside me.
Did you feel a
touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
No
Did you see the
deceased?
How
clearly did the deceased appear?
Jamie was solid. I
couldn't see Jackie at all.
How
much of the deceased did you see?
I don't remember. I
know he was standing, I remember his face. I felt as if I were looking at a
whole person, but, I don't recall his arms legs..
Did
the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?
yes.
How
healthy did the deceased appear to be?
He was great shape and
health, and he seemed to still be..
Is
there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
No.
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
No
How long did the
experience last?
I have no idea
how long it took exactly, but I believe I feel to sleep around ten, they left
the bar at 1:15, the highway patrol said the truck was going well over 100 mph,
so they had to wreck within five minutes of leaving, a civilian called 911 at
1:32am, the cops that got the call called my husband by 2am he tried to think of
how he would tell me for a while than woke me up at 3:39. I would guess about
1-2 hours.
Was the beginning
and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
The beginning
was gradual, the ending was sudden.
Could you sense the
emotions or mood of the deceased?
Yes
I just could tell, I
don't know how. I know he felt regret. I know he was being patient with me, but
wanted me to get it. It wasn't like him to be passive, but he wasn't being
pushy.
Did the deceased
give you information you did not previously know?
Just that I
would need to fight. And, I did. We had to fight in court to keep his daughter,
we had to fight to stop people from taking things from their home that belonged
to his daughter.. I don't think a day has passed that I haven't felt like I was
fighting.
How do you
currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was
definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
I'm not a flake. I'm not interested in being a medium. And, I haven't had one
single dream about my brother since that night. I've even tried to think of him,
and ask him to come back and do it again. But, nothing. I know it was real
because, there is no way to have had the dream without ever being told of the
accident. But also because I could feel it wasn't just like another dream.
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
Yes
The fact that it
didn't matter that we were not in any particular place, there was nothing around
us... at the time, I felt as if it were a dream...
Describe in detail
your feelings/emotions during the experience:
normal, happy at first
joking smiling, then concerned, then confused, then fear, then grief, pain loss,
sadness.
Was there any
emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Yes
Im still working on
it, but... It means something that that could happen. It means that we have
choices, or at least that God doesn't just take us from the people we love
without exceptions. It means that loss of life on earth is not the loss of life
forever.
Even if we no longer
exist on this planet in this place, we still have meaning somewhere else.
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
The best part is that
it happened. The worst, I can't "Make" it happen again.
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Did
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Uncertain this was sort of a shock... To be faced with something that
doesn't happen.. even if you think you know it could..
Did
the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death,
afterlife, God, etc.?
Yes It confirmed, that despite what I or any of us think, there is so much
more going on and we really don't have a clue. So, perhaps it's best to sit back
and do things God's way more often...
Death Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a
compact?
Yes
Yes,
but only as a joke...
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Yes
When I woke up... I found out he was dead.
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
emptiness. pain. fear.
Was
the experience witnessed or experienced by others?
Uncertain
I
don't know how to answer that. I guess I would have to say no. However, My
husband is the one who woke me, and I knew he was waking me to tell me my
brother had died before he opened his mouth. Before he spoke I told him, I had a
dream about Jamie. There is no way I could have dreamed that dream, or have
known to tell my husband I had that dream before he could explain why he was
waking me up.
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes
everything was altered. There was nothing.
Did
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
Yes
Only
the conclusion, that due to his passing, I would need to fight for his daughter.
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
No
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
Did
you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?
Yes
I
heard Jackie's voice.
Did
you see a light?
No
Did
any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location
described above?
No
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes My husband was shocked at the time, than his need to protect us and help
me live through my grief took over.. I don't know, we don't talk about it. I
have told a lot of people.. I just have this need to make them believe me. They
all say they do, then follows up with their own "Ghost story" .. I'm not sure
they really get it. or understand.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher
or web site?
No
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect
the experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or
other spiritual event?
Yes
When
I was young I would feel as if I were floating above my body.
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes