JD A's
ADCs
|
On December 9, 2009 I had the most extreme experience I'd ever had.
After her death I tried to compartmentalize it away but it kind of kept it alive like a time capsule; all the misplaced guilt and depression was just sitting there. I felt an overwhelming need to contact Laurie's sister and when I did I had a really weird episode.
For back story you can read about it here: http://alwaysloved.org
I'd been holding back a low grade depression for quite a while and started writing in a journal. When I wrote a line that Laurie had given up her life with me and it now belonged to my wife Darcy I felt an explosion of euphoria that didn't originate from inside of me. It started as a tingling in my forehead right where you'd kiss someone and then started shooting waves of euphoria over the top of my head and down my spine. It was initially going every 30 seconds or so but it slowed to every two minutes or so but increased in intensity. It was REALLY pleasant but also scared the hell out of me. It was time to go home from work (not that I could get any work done). So I hopped in the car.
As I drove home I
started apologizing to Laurie for being such a jerk right before she died (see
url above) and right as I drove under a metal walkway on US60 near Mill Ave the
euphoria kicked up 1000% and Laurie appeared in front of my face (I was
driving). Her face was translucent and it rippled slightly like a sheet in a
soft breeze. Only her face and the inside part of her torso was visible. Her
face drifted into mine and then I heard her speak. She said "I LOVE YOU. I LOVE
YOU. I LOVE YOU. PLEASE BE HAPPY" During that very brief contact I was again
connected to her and I felt again transported outside of 'here' and again
connected to everyone and everything. In that instant I felt such overwhelming
love that I forgave everyone that had ever wronged me. A moment later she was
gone and I was back in the car again. The euphoria tingles continued for FOUR
DAYS. I ended up going to the hospital because I was worried I was having a
temporal lobe seizure or something (the Internet is great for scaring the hell
out of you). I was there for 2 days and they tested my blood, did ekg, eeg and
other tests and found NOTHING.
Was this
experience difficult to express in words?
Yes
Laurie communicated
with me off and on for years; interjecting her emotions into my head and it
reached a point where I told her leave because it was making me feel crazy. She
didn't like a girl I had a 'thing' for... she was right.
Anyway when she left something happened that I can't describe very well as it doesn't really fit in this reality. As she left I felt engulfed by her in an overwhelming love like a hug without any physicality to it then as she left I became separated from my body (I think) and I was no longer driving down the road but instead 'somewhere' else that was... I can't describe it.. it was like overwhelming love and an interconnectedness with everyone and everything. I remember feeling like I understood everything in that moment. Then she let go (I think) and I snapped back to my body.. except it wasn't right so I kept popping in and out in my own life out of sequence. I saw flashes and felt moments from my life both past and future. I saw a lot of snippets from my life but I can't remember most of them. The ones that I couldn't forget... I saw my future wife walking down the isle. I held my daughter in my arms. I saw snippets of our happy life together. Then I was back in the car again going over the rail road tracks... In real time it couldn't have taken more than a second.
I met that woman I saw
about two weeks later; and we've been together for 18 years. As I intersect
those moments I get an odd sensation where time slows down, sounds don't sound
right, and then everything goes back to normal. It hasn't happened for awhile.
I'm still waiting for my daughter to be born.
Did you ONLY sense
an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing,
feeling or smelling them?
No
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
See above
Did
the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you,
or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was
communicated?
It seemed to originate from outside of me but it wasn't audible.
If
you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound
the deceased made when they were alive?
She didn't speak when
she was alive but she made sounds. I heard those sounds proceeding the words
that I heard.
Is
there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
No.
Was
there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?
No.
Did you feel a
touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
Yes
It was physical but
not physical. She'd make my arm/forehead/lips/etc tingle. Often I'd get
goosebumps and my hear would stand up in just that area.
Was
the touch familiar or unfamiliar?
familiar
Was
anything communicated by the touch?
Just that she cared
about me
Is
there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
no
Did you see the
deceased?
Yes
explained above
How
clearly did the deceased appear?
somewhat transparent
How
much of the deceased did you see?
just face and upper
center of torso
Did
the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?
She was the same age
How
healthy did the deceased appear to be?
very healthy. she
glowed
Is
there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
no
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
No
Was
the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?
n/a
Was
anything communicated by the smell?
n/a
Is
there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any
other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?
n/a
How long did the
experience last?
From 1986 to
1993 it was almost every day. Sometimes she'd only pop in a minute or two;
others she'd be there for an hour or more.
After that she didn't
appear for 20+ years until Dec 3 2009.
Was the beginning
and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
sudden
beginning, end faded out quickly though
Could you sense the
emotions or mood of the deceased?
Yes
Most of the time it
was a yes/no reaction; in rare cases she spoke like when I was going to commit
suicide. She stopped me from smashing the car into a brick wall and made me
promise not to do it again.
Did the deceased
give you information you did not previously know?
Yes. See
above. I'm not sure 'she' gave me the info. Though she absolutely knew that
the women I was pursuing were wrong (she despised every one!); I said I'd go to
the party I met my wife as a result of because of her urging. It was right
before I told her to leave.
How do you
currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was
definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
The fact that she was communicating things contrary to my own beliefs. For
example how I had a crush on a girl that she kept saying NO about.
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
Uncertain
Describe in detail
your feelings/emotions during the experience:
Elated
Was there any
emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Yes
I feel like I've
experienced a greater reality that surrounds us just outside of our perception;
I no longer have animosity towards anyone.
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
When the overwhelming
feeling of love and connectedness ended. I felt like my sense of understanding
had been ripped out of my mind like I couldn't grasp it anymore.
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
Did you have
any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
explained above
Did the experience
give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God,
etc.?
Yes
There is no death
Death Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a
compact?
No
Did you observe or
hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
Yes
My wedding and events that I witnessed in 1993 have occurred. Still waiting for
my daughter faith.
What emotions did
you feel during the experience?
Initially happiness but
then sadness when the feeling faded (the first major experience). After the
latest one happiness stuck; All of the misplaced guilt was just gone.
Was the experience
witnessed or experienced by others?
No
Did you have any
sense of altered space or time?
Yes
Time was
compressed. The experience seemed to last many minutes but actual time could
not have been more than a second or two in both major cases.
Did you have a
sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes
see above
Did you become
aware of future events?
Yes
Now you're freaking
me out :)
Did you have any
psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did
not have prior to the experience?
No
Did you experience
a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
See above
Did you meet or see
any other beings other than the deceased?
No
I did not 'meet
them' but I felt connected to many other people
Did you see a
light?
No
Did any part of
your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described
above?
No
Have you shared
this experience with others?
Yes
Not sure. I think some think I'm nuts but people that have had people die in
their life not so much.
Have you shared
this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?
No
Is there anything
else you would like to add regarding your experience?
I'm glad to see this
research.. I just started listening to 'Hello from Heaven' and finding out that
it's not so rare is comforting
Were there any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did you ever in
your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other
spiritual event?
No
Did the questions
asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Uncertain
It is hard to put
into words.. I hope so.
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. Pretty good