Franziska R
ADC
|
Experience description 29758:
This is my second account on this website. The first one from 2015 describes some of my near-death experiences.
Before nearly 10 years, during research
for the meaning of my NDE and NDEs in general I came across this site. After
writing down my experience I was reading thousands of NDEs with the hope to find
out what 'THE PLAN' would be. After all God invited me following my near-death
experience with Andreas. And - if I could complete my assignment that was
coupled with the plan, well, then I could go back. Finally. But let's start with
the beginning:
(If you want to get immediately to the
apex, scroll down to the end of the text.)
At birth I suffered severe lack of
oxygen as well as a complete palsy of the left side. Due to the tireless
commitment of my mother (she moved several times per day for 30 Minutes my stiff
body parts) I learned - against the prognostic of the doctor- not only to eat by
myself, but don't have any bodily handicaps left.
At the time of your experience
was there an associated life-threatening event? No
Was the experience difficult to
express in words?
At what
time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness? None
How did your highest level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal
everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal
consciousness and alertness normal
Please compare your vision
during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to
the time of the experience.
Identical
Please compare your hearing
during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to
the time of the experience.
Identical
Did you see or hear any earthly
events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was
apart from your physical / earthly body? No
What emotions did you feel
during the experience?
relief
Did you pass into or through a
tunnel? No
Did you see an unearthly
light? No
Did you seem to encounter a
mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I
heard a voice I could not identify.
A dull, monotonous voice speaking with me calling me 'you'.
Did you encounter or become
aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in
religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
Did you encounter or become
aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you become aware of past
events in your life during your experience? No
Did you seem to enter some
other, unearthly world? No
Did
time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Did you suddenly seem to
understand everything? Everything
about myself or others.
I found the solution - 24 years after I read it for the first time.....
Did you reach a boundary or
limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or
point of no return? No
Did scenes from the future come
to you? Scenes
from my personal future
I see, how I can see through people.
During your experience, did you
encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is
(or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)? Yes Yes,
life continues. If we reach enlightenment during lifetime, we can afterwards
stay in heaven, otherwise we return into the next life.
During your experience, did you
encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being
either does (or does not) exist? Yes
Exists as energy, love light,
abstraction, eternal, Oneness without opposite.
During your experience, did you
encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not)
exist prior to this lifetime? Yes
I have been living many
lifetimes, but those are parallel and can dissolve.
During your experience, did you
encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal
connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? Yes
Oneness is the only thing that exists, all the rest is but a dream.
During your experience, did you
encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning
or purpose? Yes
Enlightenment
During your experience, did you
encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s
difficulties, challenges, or hardships? Yes
They are only dreamed and can
be dissolved with a forgiving attitude.
During your experience, did you
encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Yes
Love is totally one with God
and with no opposite. Fear is only dreamed and not true.
During your experience, did you
encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in
other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? No
Did you have a sense of knowing
special knowledge or purpose? Yes The
plan is the redemption of the world, what happens through the enlightenment of
every individual. Enlightenment cannot be bought nor inherited but must be
acquired my every single one.
What occurred during your
experience included: Content
that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your
experience I
In the past I believed that God created the world, but I'm now completely
convinced that this is altogether impossible.
How accurately do you remember
the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time
of the experience? I remember
the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time
of the experience
Discuss any changes that might
have occurred in your life after your experience:
Now I know what I need to do. This has changed my attitude from expectant to
active.
My experience directly resulted in: Large
changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience? Yes
I'm now assessing myself only
according to the capacity to forgive.
Do you have any psychic,
non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have
before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Usually I share it even if the counterpart is not yet ready. This can activate a
change.
Did you have any knowledge of
near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the
reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience
was definitely real
The near-death experiences
have always been real for me, as well as life was a bad dream.
What do you believe about the
reality of your experience at the current time: Experience
was definitely real
Have your
relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Have your religious
beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes I
I'm practicing forgiveness.
At any time in your life, has
anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you
would like to add about your experience? No
Did the questions asked and
information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience? Yes
What could a national organization
with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to
you? To provide the
opportunity for other people with NDEs, to check themselves if ''Illusion of the
universe'' by Gary Renard and ''A course in miracles'' are also answering all
their questions about near-death and the purpose of life.
plndqsx
At the age
of 2, I told my mother how I came onto earth. I still can remember today: I was
a little ball of brilliant blue light. About 5 cm in diameter. Dawn just came
and it was snowing. Below a streetlamp I stopped and looked up (even so I could
see 360). Long time, mesmerized, I was watching the snow flakes lighting up and
dancing in the shine of the lamp, until they disappeared again in darkness. Then
I went to the house of my parents. The window of their room was open. I slipped
in. There my mother was lying at the side of my father. Both they were sleeping.
Then I slipped through my mother's mouth into her body and mine. So I became
her child.
My mother told me also, that I had been
telling her, that I had had a lot of trouble, to get her together with my
father. Seemingly both had been eating in the same restaurant for years - my
mother at noon and my father in the evening.
At three and a half years I was
diagnosed a tumor. Following that I was treated with chemotherapy. This was a
very strenuous time for me. My body was very tired due to the treatment and it
felt like lead. When I had to do something, I always first reflected long time,
about how I could execute the task in the shortest possible time, with the least
amount of movements. So for example when mounting stairs I took always at least
two steps at once. This way I needed indeed more strength to execute the
movement, but instead of needing 8 movements for the whole stairs, I only needed
4.
Shortly after my cancer was diagnosed,
Andreas died of a pulmonary embolism. At that time he was 33 years old. Andreas
was an 'in-law' uncle and so was not directly related to me. I only saw him once
or twice, but I found that he was nice and funny.
Not very long time after Andreas' death,
one night I woke up for the first time on the flower meadow. I'm able to
remember, how at first I was slightly disoriented, because I couldn't
understand, why I wasn't in my bed. But then I saw Andreas, who out of the
expanse of the sky walked towards me in his white 'Jesus dress'. And then I felt
that Love was poured over me. He looked beautiful as usual, had his three-day
beard as usual. He came towards me
and smiled at me. I was standing up to welcome him with a hug. We were walking a
bit through the meadow. It was beautiful. Somewhere further back a sparkling
little brook, was meandering through the grass. This brook was the border to
heaven. On the opposite side of the meadow there was a forest.
Walking here was easy for me. Actually,
here I was not the little girl I was on earth. But a woman about his age. I was
intelligent, beautiful and healthy. But I especially liked the way I could
communicate with Andreas: I just needed to think a thought and immediately he
knew exactly what I meant. He understood every facet of this thought, even
including my corresponding feelings. And the answer came back in each case
without delay. To lie or hide a
thought would have been impossible.
Then we were sitting face to face in the
grass and started to tell each other things or to discuss things over. I can
remember that, in order to obtain an answer for a question, I just had to ask
the question. After that I just had to follow the thread I had access upon all
answers. I remember darkly a difficult mathematical task. I not only could get
the answer, but I also understood very well, how everything was connected and
was calculated with. This amazed me.
On the other side, there were no simple
answers, about what was/or should happen in the world. About these issues we
could discuss. And I have the feeling to remember, how we discussed certain
structures of Power in middle east.
After some time, he usually stood up and
told me, that it was time to go back. Then
always followed this ritual of forgetting, that I usually accepted with
sadness:
Now you have to forget everything what
we discussed here! Only when you come back here again, you are allowed to
remember it.
Yes..but I don't want this. (In that
situation I was again completely the small child.)
You are allowed to remember, that you
have been here and that you talked to me!
Thank you!
I didn't like to go back in my bed. At
the flower meadow, everything was like I would have wanted it on earth. My body
was light, I could communicate my thoughts without problems. Everything was
simple and logic, you couldn't be mistaken and the Love was so big, that you
wanted to feel it for ever and ever.
But I had to go back.
Upon the question, why I couldn't stay,
he always repeated, that there was a plan and that I was important for this
plan. Even though I actually already knew that.
(I still don't know, what THE PLAN is/or
includes. Since Franciscus is pope, I'm even quite sure, that THE PLAN is in
process. But what my contribution to it should be, remains still
incomprehensible for me.)
Once again on the flower meadow I said,
that I would love sooo much to stay in heaven, and asked, if there wouldn't
possibly exist a 'speedier process'
for me? Andreas promised me, to let me eventually decide myself. Of course I
knew that it was a trick; that he would only let me decide when it would be
clear, that I wanted to remain on earth. But nevertheless it comforted me.
In the beginning those encounters
happened quite often, but the older I got, the rarer they happened.
Following one meeting, I was about eight
years old, I told my mother, that I met Andreas, and that unfortunately I was
not allowed to stay in heaven, as I still had a task to fulfill. I realized that
she was slightly shocked, but at the time I didn't understand why.
She suggested I should ask him next
time, what my task consisted of. I explained to her, that I was not allowed to
do that.
Why are you not allowed to do it? I
also didn't know this, and so I decided to ask him this question nevertheless.
I was still about 8 years old, when I
saw Andreas for the last time:
As usual I woke up on the flower meadow,
with perfect light and total love. Following the ritual of forgetting, I asked
Andreas, what was my task on earth. He looked at me very very sadly:
You know that you shouldn't ask this
question! Now we can never again meet here.
I started to be desperate. I would never
again be allowed to come to this beautiful place? Because of a stupid question,
that I even didn't want to ask? That could not be! I decided to stay there. I
just had to jump to the other side of the brook! I took a run up and jumped....
Of course I didn't succeed to get to the
other side. I jumped against a kind of plasma or rubber wall. It was
soft/flexible, was glowing in a golden orange color and hurled me back. Also
Andreas hat tried to catch me.
I spent a long time wishing to be
allowed again on the flower meadow. On the flower meadow where everything is so
easy, where I know everything, where there is so much beauty, and where love is
so much bigger, as on earth. I felt the whole life like a pure plague and
harassment. Everything was so exhausting. Every movement was
stringy like an old chewing gum, and every thought was dirty and small.
Even the idea of explaining a single one
of my thoughts to a real person, made me shiver! Firstly I wouldn't find the
words, and if I finally had found them, the other would only understand, what he
wanted to understand. Then those endless explanations, that this actually was
meant totally differently.
Words of lead. Hidden in archives, that
are organizing themselves constantly anew. Listeners in cardboard boxes, who
cannot discern the echo of their own voice from the voice of someone
else. That's the world.
A futile struggle, as I anyway hardly
had to say something important. And so I just kept silent for most of the time.
One night I then decided that things
couldn't go on like this. I simply could not be on the flower meadow, and just
wishing still being there, didn't make it any better. No, it even made
everything worse.
After this decision I felt much better!
_____________________________________________________________
When I was 17, I was invited by a
teacher, to join a group traveling to Africa. I had always been fascinated by
Africa, I absolutely wanted to go. But my parents didn't want to let me go. Or
at least not let me go alone.
No, you cannot come along! At most my
sister, Kathrin.
Why not?
It wouldn't be good for you!
No we cannot let both of you go alone
to Africa!
And so it happened, that the whole
family went to Africa.
In Africa there was a bus, that we - 27
swiss and 8 Africans - had to board, in order to get to our vacation place. I
knew exactly, what my place should be in the bus: the one directly behind the
front passenger seat! I would have fought with claws and teeth to get this seat,
but it was left to me I couldn't understand it without any objection. A
short time after departure I felt a strange connection to the African sitting on
the seat before me. I felt an unbelievable desire, to put my hand on his back. I
had the feeling, that there was something wrong with his lung. And I had a
certainty that if I would place my hand on it, it would get better.
Surreptitiously I placed my hand on
the back rest of his seat. After a while I even dared to touch him. Everybody
would think it would just be accidental. And he himself wouldn't even notice at
all. Immediately I was pervaded by a feeling of absolute peace. Now could come,
what was to come. Night came fast.
I looked up. Through the front
windshield I saw a dark car rushing towards us. On our side of the street!
The wheels of the car were sprinkling
sparks. Like a dolphin jumping out of the water I was lifted over the seat in
front of me. In slow motion I experienced how the right side door of our car
opened, in a perfect roll my body was floating precisely through the gap, left
in the door for the wheels. Then I somersaulted three times, in complete harmony
with time and the earth and in
complete quietness, on the pebbles of the border of the street. Next to me the
trunks, that we had fixed on the roof of the car, were rolling silently. So in
the end I found myself curled, somewhere in the total void. In total silence. In
total darkness. I only felt my body.
So that's it when you are dead.
Hmmm.. I still can think!
Will I also be able to move? Do I want
that?
I remained as I was.
After a certain time in total void I
came to the conclusion, that it was worth, at least to try to get up. Finally
the void was not very inspiring. I tried to move. At that moment I heard a
child's scream behind me. I got up and ran back to the car.
My God, what a mess!
Here somebody was hanging over the
steering wheel, there somebody was pulled out of the car, here somebody was
yelling, there somebody with a thousand glass fragments in his face from the
windshield, in the car my whole family. What was I supposed to do? How could I
help?
I was later told, that I had been asking
umpteen times, what I should do until somebody told me I should take care of
the African, who had been sitting in front of me.
He was sitting on the street breathing
heavily. I sat myself behind him, so that he could lean on me, like in a deck
chair. They said, that he broke some ribs. I tried to stabilize him at best in
this painless position. He was speaking french. Even though I didn't understand
much French, we still managed to tell us some things. His name was Elage and he
was a tailor.
Eventually I wondered, that I could
without getting tired in keeping this quite uncomfortable position support an
adult man for so long.
After an eternity he was loaded in a
car. I went with him. Although I didn't know him nor the driver. The many
potholes were very painful for him. When we finally arrived at the hospital, he
was put on a stretcher and wheeled away.
I spent the night on a bench outside the
surgery theater. My parents and my sisters had also been taken to this hospital.
My little brother was in another hospital. In time it turned out, that my sister
Kathrin and I had been the two only people walking away unharmed by the
accident. My mother had broken both knees, my father broke his pelvis, my little
brother suffered a heavy shock and the little sister broke both underarms.
Five of the seven people sitting in the
oncoming car, died in the accident.
The next day, the three most hurt Swiss
people were transported back to Switzerland by air rescue: My mother, my sister,
as well as another tourist, with a dislocated hip. Afterwards, the remaining
travelers were taken to the hotel. I wanted absolutely say good bye to Elage.
But being alone I could not find him, and also nobody wanted to help me. So it
stayed with the intention.
10 days later we traveled back to
Switzerland. I had the strong intention to visit Elage in hospital on the way
back. But it was simply impossible. I had no money, and nobody should drive even
one more meter on African streets as strictly necessary. Also that time it
remained with the intention.
We flew back to Switzerland. Back in our
old life, that had changed considerably. My mother was now in Hospital. She had
to undergo several operations, to be able to walk again someday. I was taking up
her place. I had to send my little brother to school, my father discussed
problems with me, that he normally would have discussed with mother.
Two weeks later I woke up in a white
chalked-up African hospital room. Far up in the high room there were two small
windows, through which dawn came and immersed the room in blue light. The whole
room was vibrating with total love. Elage was welcoming me cordially. He was
healthy!
I sat with him at the little table and
had to laugh for a start. This, had been well managed by them! Out of this
prison I could not flee for sure. The windows were too high up, and the doors
locked. Then we were talking, as if we had not seen each other for centuries, we
laughed and giggled, reflected about the world and solved all problems that
exist and ever existed or ever will exist.
Then he got up.
You now have to forget all matters that
we discussed here. But you are allowed to memorize the encounter with me and
about your feelings.
I know.
Furthermore I have two tasks for you.
Will you accept them?
Yes.
....and I want that you tell the tour
guide, that the accident was not his fault.
Then we hugged again lovingly. Oh, that
love - indescribable.
So and now I must go.
He went (he became light), and I got
back into normal sleep. When I woke it was already half past ten. The family was
sitting together around the breakfast table.
Good morning. I just talked to Elage.
He died this morning about four o'clock.
Giggles, whispering. I ate my egg and
the Sunday croissant. I wasn't mad at them. If you haven't experienced it by
yourself, you will not believe it.
At eleven o clock the telephone was
ringing. My father came back out of the office with a white face and sat at the
table again: Elage died this morning around 4 o'clock in hospital due to a
pulmonary embolism. Our tour guide from Africa just called.
A few days later I remembered one of the
tasks. I had to tell the tour guide, that the accident was not his fault? Only
now I realized, what I brought onto myself.
With my 17 years it was completely
unimaginable for me, that somebody may feel guilty for such a random accident. I
was scared the tour guide would laugh at me, when giving him the message. Maybe
he will even be annoyed, as he might think I would think that the accident was
his fault???
Eventually I brought myself to do it
and, quite embarrassed, facing my teacher I said: You know...hmm... I have
with... Elage. Do you still remember? He charged me to tell you, that the
accident was not your fault.
My teacher flung his arms around my neck
crying. And I was definitely not prepared at that. Clumsily I
patted his shoulder.
At 27 I just met my present husband
I suddenly felt a stabbing pain in my underbelly. It could not be the appendix,
as I already had sacrificed it. It had to be a tubal pregnancy! Andreas! If I
had to get surgery I clearly felt, that I would be dying. Dying! Now! That I
just met my husband!!! My future had finally arrived! The pain was so intense,
that I almost fainted. I desperately started to talk to the child, and to
explain, that it would kill both of us, if it continued to grow and that the
best would be to leave my tube. About a half hour later the pain disappeared as
suddenly as it came. After that I had menstrual cramps for several weeks.
At the
time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?
No
Was the
experience difficult to express in words?
Yes
There are no words for many things.
Emotions for instance can only be expressed in a limited way. For example with
the help of pictures.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest
level of
consciousness and alertness?
From beginning to end.
How did
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare
to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More
consciousness and alertness than normal
I always valued the experiences on the
flower meadow / in the hospital room as more real, as this reality.
Please
compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had
immediately prior to the time of the experience.
You can imagine it approximately as follows: We normally get
consciousness about the visible world only through our body and some more
thoughts. This is information, that is transferred via our body towards our
brain, and from our brain towards the body (plus some inner brain actions). In
order not to overburden the brain, much incoming information has to be switched
off.
The brain is needed by the spirit, to be
able to steer the body. But tragically we also use it to think and make
decisions.
On the flower meadow/ in the hospital
room the consciousness is not restricted to the body and the visible world.
Impressions need not to be processed. They simply are there - which is a really
magnificent experience. But it is not impossible to experience this 'over'
bodily consciousness also in the middle of life. It can be learned!
Please
compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had
immediately prior to the time of the experience.
1985-89: Bad hearing. During the experience: I have no awareness of
auditory impressions
1999: Normal hearing. During the
experience: I have no awareness of auditory impressions
Did you
see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your
consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
No
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
1985 - 1989: Absolute, all-encompassing Love.
1989: Absolute, all-encompassing Love,
at the end complete sadness. Helplessness
1999: Absolute, all-encompassing Love.
Did you
pass into or through a tunnel?
No
Did you
see an unearthly light?
Yes
The light was all-encompassing. Every living being was radiating His light.
Did you
seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?
No
Did you
encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are
described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?
No
Did you
encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
Yes
1985-1989: Andreas was an 'in-law' uncle, not akin to me. I have only one memory
of him, from this earth time. At the time I was three years old and I loved this
man at first sight.
1999: Elage was a stranger, with whom I
spent some fateful hours. But he felt like a very nice old friend. I also felt
for him a great love - though a controlled love, as it is here on earth..
Did you
become aware of past events in your life during your experience?
No
Did you
seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
1985-89:
The flower meadow for me, was definitely not on earth. Though I meanwhile
believe, that the earth could have been reached through the wood, like heaven
was accessible via the bridge.
1999: For me the hospital room was
clearly not of this world, even if it probably looked exactly the same in
reality. It was clear for me, that I simply was placed in a 'prison', so that I
wouldn't try again, to get into heaven too early.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
No
Did you
suddenly seem to understand everything?
Everything about the universe
There were no questions without an answer, there.
The challenge was not to find the
answer, but to find the question!!
Everything I wanted to know, came to me
as knowledge.
Though I didn't get any knowledge, that
was not transferred to me by Andreas/Elage, or that I personally wasn't
interested in.
Did you
reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes
1985-89: The flower meadow was limited on one side by the forest (direction
Earth?) and on the other side by the brook (heaven).
I illicitly tried to cross the river.
But I bounced off a kind of luminous rubber-/plasma 'wall'. My impression was
that the whole 'heaven' was made of this plasma, and I could not get in, because
my 'body' wasn't subtle enough, to get into the plasma.
Like a balloon filled with air, cannot
dive into a lake.
Did you
come to a border or point of no return?
I came to a barrier that I was not
permitted to cross; or was "sent back" against my will
1985-1989: At the end of every meeting I was sent back against my will.
1999: I was wise enough not wanting to
stay there.
Did scenes
from the future come to you?
Scenes from the world's future
But I'm not allowed to remember them... :-(
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly
life (life after death)?
Yes
I could meet deceased people, so those still must have been 'alive', furthermore
I could exist without a body, what wouldn't be possible if life was restricted
to the body.
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God
or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?
No
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you
either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?
No
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a
mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?
No
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly lifes meaning or purpose?
Yes
We discussed each time the different
aspects of life and their sense. I unfortunately was forced to forget the
contents of the discussions.
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding earthly lifes difficulties, challenges, or hardships?
Yes
We discussed each time the different
aspects of life and their sense. I unfortunately was forced to forget the
contents of the discussions.
During
your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness
regarding love?
Yes
Love is omnipresent and unalterable.
During
your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness
that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our
earthly lives?
No
Did you
have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?
Yes
1985-1989: I came to the realization
that heaven is my real home, and the earth a vacation place, that unfortunately
just lost interest in entertaining me nicely.
1999: As a little encouragement, I was
allowed to sniff a small piece of heaven.
What
occurred during your experience included:
Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the
time of your experience
1985: As I still was very small, I had
no belief and so I was not prejudiced
1999: I already knew how it worked.
How
accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events
that occurred around the time of the experience?
I remember the experience more accurately than other life events
that occurred around the time of the experience
1985-1989: Even though the experiences partly merged, there are individual parts
(jumping the plasma wall, hugs etc.) that are still extremely vivid.
1999: The experience is still very
present.
Discuss
any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:
As I was so little at my first experience, I had not yet much 'personality', the
difference can not be determined.
But when I compare myself to people in
my surroundings, I realize that they
- Fear death. For a long time I looked
forward to it. Today I'm neutral.
- Have trouble to accept/evaluate
psychic experiences.
- Unfortunately have a wrong
understanding about many passages of the Bible, Sura
etc.
- Let themselves be led by petty
emotions.
- Have difficulties making changes in
themselves
Besides: For me God definitely exists
not in the form of an old man, but in the form of light - that is in everything
and everybody.
My experience directly resulted in:
No changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that
occurred as a result of the experience?
Uncertain
A before/after is not possible. I grew up with the effect of those experiences,
and for sure they strongly shaped me.
Do you
have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that
you did not have before the experience?
Uncertain
A before/after is not possible.
I can perceive 'spirits' of unborn
children, partly precognition and also can 'collect' information consciously.
Furthermore I can sense, see or 'know'
certain things.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful
or significant to you?
The omnipresent love was very important
for me. I also missed it a long time on earth. (I still miss it, but I now can
live well this way.)
When my mother told me that adult people
could 'make love', I was very eager to grow fast into an adult, in order to
finally get the love back. Following the first sexual intercourse (love???) I
was totally disillusioned.
Meanwhile I have a fulfilling 'love
life'. But an orgasm could rather be compared to an intoxication, as to the
love, that I was looking for.
Elages' death was proof for my
surroundings, that I wasn't nuts- that the experiences were real, the more this
experience helped me coming out of my personal middle ages: for a time I had
been suppressing and negating all spiritual experiences.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes
I always told my experiences
immediately.
They listened. Actually there were no
reactions. If they happened, then it came as a kind of shock, because I would
have preferred to stay there/ or that the experience apparently was real.
Did you
have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
What did
you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after
it happened:
Experience was definitely real
During the experience I was more alert as in normal life.
The experience was even more real as
reality, for me
What do
you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:
Experience was definitely real
During the experience I was more alert as
in normal life.
The experience was even more real as
reality, for me
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of
your experience?
Uncertain
cannot be determined.
But I think that the experiences by all
means had an influence on my relationships, as they affected my whole
personality.
Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed
specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain
cannot be determined.
Even as a small child I reflected for
hours upon life and God, and constructed my own religion.
Furthermore I have a relatively keen
serenity in relation with religions.
However I have little understanding for
a priest, insisting that a baptismal verse originates from the BIBEL. After all,
the most important is the message...
At any
time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?
No
But one part of the experience could be
verified.
Is there
anything else that you would like to add about your experience?
No
Did the
questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes
What could a national organization with
an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?
It could provide a summary, how to deal
with NDEs, present a summary of the 'knowing' techniques
in dealing with the extended world.
--How can I perceive spirits, how could
this manifest itself, should I communicate or not, dangers, advantages, release
spirits.
--Are there lessons that can be got from
NDEs?
--Information about the possibility how
to obtain the 'knowledge'.
Admittedly these things also bear a
certain risk.. as we don't want to create a new religion.
Experience description 2355:
Andreas: he invited me to a place near heaven to talk to him.
it was a place filled with love.
unknown: when I entered the house of my School mate I always
had this sense of loosing my sight and sense of Hearing as well as my sense of
Balance. I did not know how to interpret this feelings until somebody told me,
that he had this kind of percipience when he was contacted by a deceased Person.
Hans: I was sitting in front of the
operating theatre, waiting for a
tissue sample, when I clearly felt the presence of a being. I asked it to
sit onto my lap - I thought it would be the child that was being operated on -
but he resisted to do so. so I told him, that nobody could see it. after that he
reluctantly did it. I told him, that his Family would miss him, if he didn't go
back into his Body, but he told me, that it was time for him to go now. so gave
him my best wishes, and we said good by. an hour later I went to visit my
Cousin, who was lying in the same Hospital. there I was told, that my
grandfather had just died!
Elage: he invited me to a place near heaven to talk to him. it was a place filled with love.
Maria: I was just about to go to bed, when I suddenly felt the
presence of a being. since the mother of my husband was very sick I thought, it
might be her. I told her some nice things my husband hat told me about her, and
I told her some of the stuff he regretted to have done to her. then I got the
Impression, that she was interested to see our cat, so I called my cat and told
her a few Little Stories about it. then we said good by.
when I later on told my husband, that I got the Impression,
that she was interested in our cat, he was reassured, that I really had met his
mother: she had always asked him questions about the cat, but he'd never told
me.
Vreni: I brought my husbands friend to his Holiday flat one
late evening, after his mum had died in a car accident. he then asked me to come
into the house with him, to look at a few Tableaus. I was almost unable to Keep
my consciousness, during the stay. I constantly kept loosing my sight and sense
of Hearing as well as my sense of Balance. I knew now, that this would happen,
when a deceased Person wanted to talk to me - or use my Body to talk through me.
so I thought I had to tell him, that I was certain, that his mother was wanting
to talk to him. I wanted to give him some advice (just call her Name and talk to
her aloud for example, when he is alone at home). but when I had finished the
first sentence, he almost fainted: later on I found out, that his wife had also
told him, his mother was still there, and wanted to talk to him. but he had not
believed in her words.
Barbara: my
daughter clearly kept looking at someone for days and crying as soon as I left
her alone for a second. that's why I then called the clairvoyant. the
clairvoyant told me, that my daughter (aged 1 year) wanted to tell me, that my
twin sister was here to tell me, that she existed. I had throughout my childhood
believed, my parents would have given my twin sister out for Adoption, but they
kept saying, I had no twin sister. we then found out, that my twin sister died,
when she had been for about 3 months with me in my mothers womb. my mother
thought she'd loose me due to heavy bleedings in her pregnancy - but we lost my
twin sister, and didn't know.
about 10 unborn children of mine: when I was about to get
pregnant, I always felt the Kids coming to me and asking me, whether or not they
were allowed to come into my Body. I usually had to say no....
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: sense of loosing my sight and
sense of Hearing as well as my sense of Balance.
there's a pool and a Sauna at my grandparents holyday flat. I
would never have gone into the Sauna, since I perceived two deceased Lovers in
there. once my brother came Swimming with me. then I had to go and get something
upstairs. I was scared, the Lovers could try to for example drown my brother,
while I was absent, so I told him - as his older sister -, to come with me. he
laughed at me and said: you mean because of These two ghosts in here??? they
won't harm me!
when I told my mother she went pale and told me, that my
father had told her, that he'd never use that Sauna with her - he apparently had
said it was steaming from ghosts.
4. Andreas: I saw him "in heaven"
unknown: only awareness, as well as a sense of loosing my
sight and a sense of loosing my Hearing and my sense of Balance
Hans: only awareness
Elage; I saw him
"in heaven"
Maria: only awareness
Vreni: only awareness, as well as a sense of loosing my sight
and a sense of loosing my Hearing and my sense of Balance
Barbara: only awareness
about 10 unborn children of mine: usually only awareness. when
I was pregnant with some twins I saw their Aura, and realized that one of the
twins was sick and would die within a few years after his birth. I told them,
that I would not be able to handle two twins aged 2 and two twins of which one
was sick. so they left. I am very grateful, for their understanding.
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: only awareness, as well as a
sense of loosing my sight and a sense of loosing my Hearing and my sense of
Balance
Was the experience difficult to express in words?
No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
No
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
Yes
Describe where and how you were touched:
Andreas: we hugged each other
unknown: no
Hans: no
Elage: we hugged each other
Maria: no
Vreni: no
Barbara: no
about 10 unborn children of mine: no
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: of some ghost I got Kind of a
cold touch in my neck.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: unfamiliar - very cold and frightening
Was anything communicated by the touch?
no, but I got the Impression, it was to fright out
the hell of me. and this "fright energy" was "eaten by the ghost
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
no
Did you see the deceased?
Uncertain
Andreas: yes
unknown: no
Hans: no
Elage: yes
Maria: no
Vreni: no
Barbara: no
about 10 unborn children of mine: yes
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: no
How clearly did the deceased appear?
Andreas: very clear and solid, radiating some light
Elage: very clear and solid, radiating some light
about 10 unborn children of mine: I could only see their light
How much of the deceased did you see?
Andreas: all of him
Elage: all of him
about 10 unborn children of mine: I could only see their light
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the
age at which they died?
Andreas: the Age he died. - he died at his best Age anyway.
Elage: the Age he died. - he died at his best Age anyway.
about 10 unborn children of mine: I could only see their light
How healthy did the deceased appear to be?
Andreas: very healthy
Elage: very healthy
about 10 unborn children of mine: one healthy one unhealthy..
unborn not deceased...
Is there any possibility what you saw was from
any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?
no
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the
deceased?
No
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?
Yes
Andreas: loving
unknown: sad
Hans: on the run
Elage: loving
Maria: on the by way
Vreni: desperate
Barbara: happy
about 10 unborn children of mine: understanding
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: very different. often
desperate
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously
know?
Andreas: yes, but I had to Forget the Information again. he promised me to ask
me, if I want do die one day, because I was desperate to stay in heaven. he did
so 24 years later.
unknown: no
Hans: yes, he said, it was time for him to go.
Elage: yes, he told me, to go and tell someone, he was not
guilty of an accident - which was a very stupid Thing for me to think of: one
can not be guilty for a mischance. but the reciever was very relieved, when I
told him.
Maria: she was interested in my cat, which was confirmed by my
husband
Vreni: no (I did not want to know)
Barbara: yes - she existed...
about 10 unborn children of mine: that I was about to get
pregnant..
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: no
How do you currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was definitely real
my sensations where either so clearly true, that I
did not Need any confirmation.
if not, I was able to get confirmation from my brother, father
etc.
Was the experience dream like in any way?
No
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the
experience?
No
What was the best and worst part of your experience?
Andreas, Elage: the love
unknown ghosts: being scared of them
known ghosts: being able to say good by or to help them
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
since I was very Young, when I had my first
experience, it's difficult, to say how it affected me. but I can see huge
differences between me and other People concerning judging others, being jealous
or open-minded.
I am convinced, that we are on earth to Change ourselves. most
People hate to Change...
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
Andreas: I wanted to stay in heaven and hated being on earth. I had to
learn to appreciate my life.
elage: I was just pushed back to think about things behind
everyday life.
ghosts: as a child I was told, they did not exist. I came to
the conclusion, that this is wrong.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such
as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?
Yes
huh...
lots of understanding
I have come to understand the world in a total different way
to everyone else around me.
but I think, it would fill a book.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events
during your experience that could be verified later?
Yes
Andreas: yes, but I had to Forget the Information
again. he promised me to ask me, if I want do die one day, because I was
desperate to stay in heaven. he did so 24 years later.
unknown: no
Hans: yes, he said, it was time for him to go.
Elage: yes, he told me, to go and tell someone, he was not
guilty of an accident - which was a very stupid Thing for me to think of: one
can not be guilty for a mischance. but the reciever was very relieved, when I
told him.
Maria: she was interested in my cat, which was confirmed by my
husband
Vreni: no (I did not want to know)
Barbara: yes - she existed...
about 10 unborn children of mine: that I was about to get
pregnant..
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: no
Andreas: fully alert, not experienced by others
unknown: fully alert, not experienced by others
Hans: fully alert, not experienced by others - he had visited
all his relatives and friends the week before he passed away.
Elage: fully alert, experienced by others: when I got up I
told my Family, that he had just died at about 4 a.m.. a couple of minutes later
we got a phone call, letting us know, he had died that very day at about 4 am.
Maria: fully alert, not experienced by others
Vreni: fully alert, experienced by others. I told her son,
that his mother was in his holyday flat. he almost fainted, when I told him, but
it was only 4 months later when I found out the reason for his fainting: he did
not belief in ghosts, but his wife had told him the same thing just days before
I did.
Barbara: fully alert, experienced by others: my daughter kept
looking at her for about 10 days and crying as soon as I left her alone for a
second. that's why I called the clairvoyant.
about 10 unborn children of mine: slightly drowsy, not
experienced by others
Katharina: fully alert, not experienced by others
loads of "ghosts" unknown to me: fully alert, experienced by
others. my father and my brother often told me about the same impressions at the
same places.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time?
No
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
Yes
Andreas, Elage: yes, I knew everything, but I had
to Forget it again
ghosts: no
Did you become aware of future events? Uncertain Andreas, Elage: if, I knew everything, I had to Forget again
ghosts: no
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the
experience that you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
but I am getting better anyway for for example, at precognition
helping souls to go to where they belong
thinking beyond the borders of my brain
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
Andreas, Elage: I was in "heaven" without my Body
ghosts: my consciousness keeps trying to fly away and let
other souls take control of my Body. but I'm getting better at staying within my
Body ( there are tricks...)
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?
No
Did you see a light?
Yes
Andreas, Elage: they radiated light
ghosts: no
unborn children: yes: their aura
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location
described above?
No
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes
People tent to not believe anything, but when they have experiences
themselves, they come to me and say thanks for me "warning" them.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with
any other researcher or web site?
No
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your
experience?
no
Were there any associated medications or
substances with the potential to affect the experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in
your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the
experience?
No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of
body experience or other spiritual event?
Uncertain
I am not sure how to value my experiences with Andreas/Elage