I had read the book, "A Search for the Truth" by Ruth Montgomery who experienced automatic writing with someone deceased.  This intrigued me to the point that I sat at my desk one night with pencil poised over a writing pad and asked the question to my deceased husband, "Harold, are your there?"  After a short hesitation, I felt a surge of energy in my arm, and the pencil wrote a shaky "Yes".  I felt both surprised and little frightened, put the pencil down and went to bed (with little sleep that night).  Next day I tried again.  This time the pencil was steadier, and we had a short conversation about where we were married.  Thereafter, we communicated nightly to this day.  In fact during the first six months, I was told it was my mission in life to write about my experience to let the world know that there is life after death, which became a published account in "Thoughts From Heaven" by Harold and Ethel Beardsworth.

I made a promise to God that if He allowed my husband to stay with me for the rest of my life, I would say the Rosary every day for the Souls in Purgatory. I have kept my promise and continue to communicate with Harold.  He has been with me through tragedy and happiness and helps me make important decisions in my life.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No comment

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  At times I can feel a caress.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        Each time the experience lasts as long as we want to communicate our thoughts.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes  I feel Harold's presence and his personality come through.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Harold has given me much information about the afterlife.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           We still communicate.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes  I knew my husband was in Heaven and happy.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The worst part was that a month after I started communicating with my Husband, my middle son, Kevin, died suddenly from a heart attack at age 46.  The comforting part was that my Husband was here to console and help me get through this tragedy.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:            Somewhat.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I gradually moved away from my Catholic upbringing and now believe in God and his works without attending the rituals of the Mass.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I know there is Life after Death.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Curious.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

Many items of interest regarding the afterlife, such as, spirits can live just as we do here and can conjure up homes to live in, jobs they wish to do, sports they wish to play, or anything else they might want to accomplish.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I am able to continue to exchange thoughts with my Husband.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?        I had communication (transfer of thoughts) from my deceased Father, Priest, Grandmother, friends.  When too many tried to get through at once, God and my Husband arranged that only my Husband would call on any person I wished to communicate with.

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?         I can communicate with Harold anywhere.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     Some of my family and friends think all this is baloney.  Others have an open mind, and others do believe.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?            Yes  I wrote a book with my Husband's help, "Thoughts From Heaven".

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I have given my book to people who have lost a loved one.  Some have beenhelped by this.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Once I floated over the roofs of my neighborhood, but when I realized what was happening, I came back into my body.  I have never experienced this again.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Experience description (4/22/03):   

At first, I questioned whether what was happening was coming from the spirit world or from my head.  My husband had to continually assure me that it was, indeed, he (Harold) that was connecting with me.  Have you had multiple experiences?   Yes     Continuous automatic writing from 6-17-2000 to the present.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  At first, the writing came through jagged and difficult to read.  Very soon it became clear and steady.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   I sensed my husband's presence and heard his thoughts in my mind.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  I knew what was being communicated from his mind to my mind, and also felt pressure in my arm and fingers to write those thoughts on paper.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           No actual sound was made - just thought communication, but his personality and energy came through.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       I had many instances of feeling physical contact (kiss, hug, massage)

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   My husband used to massage my shoulders, and I felt the same pressure.

He kissed my lips.  He hugged me.  He helped me drive my car when I was on

the way to the hospital to see my son who had died from a heart attack.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  See above.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No

Did you see the deceased?        A small, hazy, figure of my husband appeared on the skylight of my kitchen.  At another time, a full shadowy figure appeared on the porch.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Hazy.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       The upper part of his body on the skylight.

A full, shadowy, figure of his full body on the porch.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       My husband appeared about 30 years old at both times.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He was extremely healthy looking.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           At first, I thought the sunlight on the skylight and porch contributed to his appearances, but he assured me that he WAS there.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           Before 6-17-00 there were about three occasions that I smelled cigarette smoke.

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     Yes. My husband was a heavy smoker when he was alive.

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   Cigarette smoke.

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        No.  I checked all over the house for a source, but there was none.

How long did the experience last?        About 10 minutes each time.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden.  My nostrils just filled with the scent.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes, Harold's personality, essence and energy could definitely be felt.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Too numerous to mention.  All of these experiences were written into a book which has been published by me called, "Thoughts From Heaven" (currently available from me and advertised on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble.com, falcbooks.com (Falcon Books), and publishershomepages.com (RR Bowker).

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          Because it really happened.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           A little frightened at first.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

My deceased husband and son helped me through my grief loosing my beloved son, Kevin.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best is the ability to contact my husband and son.  There is no worst.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

            Describe:      I am a much happier person and "go with the flow".

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

I am questioning certain aspects of my Catholic faith.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes

I believe that our deceased loved ones live a life similar to ours on the Other Side, but in a happier place doing whatever it is they wish to do.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Sheer thankfulness to God for His blessing.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   

Reincarnation was explained to me.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes, I am able to "talk" with deceased individuals who are brought "through" by my husband.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    

On two occasions, I had an out of body experience.  1. Floated in my neighborhood at night.  2. Floated in Switzerland with my husband.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes, I must be very careful with whom I share this information.  Some think I am crazy.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I was told my mission in life is the book which is now published.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes  Once, after an operation.  Experienced going through a tunnel.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes