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Experience description:

My mother had been suffering for several years from heart conditions and related issues... She was very hill for about a year before she ultimately passed away.. I had been living in another state but was released from work on disability early because of a serious injury on my job.. Knowing that my mom was in serious condition and that my dad did not have the help he needed to care for her, I decided to relocate a few miles away from them where I could assist. I am so glad I did that.. After a 32 day stay in the ICU of our local hospital, the doctors did not have a lot of hope that mom would last long but she actually lived another 9 years and only the last year was she in grave condition. She passed at the age of 77. My sister and I were both by her side during the last few weeks of her life. She and my dad had a fairytale marriage.... They loved each other dearly and were married right out of high school and had actually loved each other since 7th grade... true soul mates. My dad was awesome... He worked hard all of his life and was a wonderful provider for us... but he couldn't make himself a sandwich... Mom did not want to leave him alone because she knew he wouldn't take care of himself. She made me promise her that I would take him in and take care of him when she died... Of course I told her I would... I was very close to my dad and I really would have loved for him to come and stay with me but dad had other ideas... He had lived the last 10 years or more being a full time caretaker with almost no free time... He loved to piddle in his workshop, go to the mall and the flea market and make friends wherever he went but he was not able to have the freedom to do those things for so long... so when mom passed he did not want to have to answer to anyone about what he was doing or when he'd be home etc... He just wanted to be the director of his time and even have his alone time.. I can certainly relate because I am very much like that myself, so with mom gone, we decided to just let dad have his space and live his life and just settle for checking on him every day and having him over for meals... He was good with that but I bet mom really didn't like it.. LOL.

Back to my mom and her last few weeks of life... For weeks Mom had that far away look in her eyes that folks nearing death get... In fact, as I sat with her during the days, she would often drift off into a deep trance like stare and many times she would carry on a conversation with someone.. laughing and almost sounding like her old self.. When she would snap out of it, I would ask her who she had been talking with and she told me she had been talking to our Uncle Earl Jackson who had passed away in the 80s.. I was not surprised because I understood the journey of dying. I asked her what they were talking about and she very matter-of-factly told me that she was asking him how she should package some avocados she wanted to send her hospice nurse for Christmas.. She really liked that lady and that lady loved avocados. At this point, mom did not perceive the strangeness of talking to a deceased relative but I understood that Uncle Earl was there to assist mom in her transition from this world to heaven.. She continued to have these conversations and my dad was a little concerned but he knew that she was not completely in our world any longer... One day I came over and when I walked in the house my poor dad was standing in the kitchen with a perplexed look on his face and mom sitting there in her chair next to the kitchen... She looked at me and said, thank goodness you're here.. I said what's going on and dad said, She thinks the doctor gave her a purple butterfly and she doesn't know where it is... She insisted that she did know where it was... that it was in the drawer underneath the oven... I looked at dad and he had a blank look on his face as he stood there staring down into the drawer which did not contain a purple butterfly or any other kind of butterfly for that matter... I said, MOM, I am going to pull everything out of this drawer and show you that the purple butterfly is not here... then will you believe us?? to which she nodded yes she would... So I took all of the pans out of the drawer and showed her the empty drawer... She sat there staring for a long time, and then she said, "Somebody's lying" Dad and I almost burst into laughter but that would not have been received very well... We both just shook our heads and said, you must have misplaced it somewhere... but we will keep looking for it.. She seemed to be OK with that... About a week after the purple butterfly incident, Mom had another visit with uncle Earl... He must have been trying to get her to come with him this time because mom became confrontational... Earl must have said something like, "You need to come with me now Peggy, David will be along soon" to which mom said, in no uncertain terms, "NO, I'm not going anywhere and neither is dad" I only heard her part of the conversation, of course, but I am sure that must have been the jist. She had a very strong will and she did not want to leave my dad so she didn't... It was only a short time later though when she really began to fail... her system was shutting down... no longer able to eat and food was her happy place.. The last thing she tried to eat was squash and onions.. She asked me to make her some and I did... I gave her tiny little bites that she wallowed around in her mouth saying... mmmmmm... so good.. I don't think she actually swallowed any of it...  Mom's heart condition was grave... she had congestive heart failure and had not been able to lay in a bed for years... She slept sitting up, partially reclined in a chair.. but the last few days of her life, hospice brought in a bed for her that was raised to her comfort level. I think she was fairly comfortable, especially since she was spending more time in the spirit realm than in ours... It was a Saturday morning, my sister and I were called and told that mom would be leaving soon.... We both rushed over to be there, especially for dad because we knew he would be a wreak. My sister read some Bible scriptures and that was nice.. I stood there next mom's head brushing her hair off her forehead... her breathing was getting slower and in a few minutes she was pronounced deceased... It was very peaceful. Almost as soon as she passed, my cell phone rang... I looked at my sister and said, I wonder who this is... I looked down at the phone to see who was calling... The ID said, "DAD" The only problem dad was there with us and he was not using his phone... not only that but his phone was turned off.. At the time I did not think much of it but later I decided that it was her way to remind me one last time to take care of dad. I have never received a phone call from a phone that was turned off and laying on a nearby table within my eyesight... so that was the first sign that something was up. After that, the entire day was surreal... the doctor arrived about 30 minutes later to pronounce mom deceased and they took her away to the funeral home... That house was very empty at that moment... Mom so loved her home that she had made very special over the years.. It was a great place to come and gather on holidays and special times... She was a wonderful cook and it was always a pleasure get together as a family around the dinner table.. Now she was gone and we were very sad and at the same time very tired... We had all spent so much time taking care of mom and making sure she was comfortable that we now had a few days to relax and get some well needed rest. My sister and I had already taken care of the funeral arrangements, ordered her casket and purchased a vault at the cemetery above ground as this was one of her wishes.... not to be placed under ground... The next day was kind of busy with setting up an exact time for her service and notifying people. We allowed a week before the service because mom's only brother who had his own health issues really wanted to be there.. I am so glad we did that because they were close. They both had kind of a traumatic childhood and they relied heavily on each other.. In fact, not long after mom passed, so did Uncle Homer..

Now I will tell you the reason for this post... On the fifth day after mom passed, in the early morning hours, around 4 or 5 AM, I was asleep but between waking and sleep when I heard in my right ear, "Laney, I don't know if you can hear me or not but I wanted to say, thank you" It was loud and strong and it was the voice of my mother when she was very healthy!!  She tried to say something else but because hearing her voice startled me awake, the voice faded away as she was speaking... This was not a dream... This was a voice as clear as day in my ear and it was my mother... I guess she was thanking me for being there to take care of dad and for the things I had done for them while she was sick... I did not expect a thank you but I sure got one... I couldn't wait to tell my sister about it but to my surprise, she just kind of laughed it off, I guess because she didn't believe in that... The day of the funeral, I found my dad alone in a room, and I sat down with him... I did not know how to broach the topic so I just asked him if he had heard from mom since she passed and he looked up at me and began to cry... as he shook his head yes... I said, so have I...  It scared him because he would hear her voice at night calling his name.. I think she was trying to tell him something too but as he was startled awake it scared him... I tried to explain that she had not left the earth plane yet... She wants to make sure that he is OK and eventually she will move on... I told him that the next time she spoke to him, to stay calm and tell her he loves her and to go on ahead to heaven and that he will be fine.. Anyway, she eventually left and he stopped being afraid.. The final tie I heard from mom was in a different way and to me, this was very impressive.. She showed herself to me in a dream, young and beautiful and wearing a very distinctive, beautiful dress with a vibrant floral pattern. It was really beautiful... She did not say a word... she just looked at me, smiling as if to say, how do you like this beautiful dress. I could not get that image out of my head and then the very next day, my sister in law and I went shopping at JC Penny... not my favorite store but it was hers, so I reluctantly went with her... While she was looking for some new jeans, I was just walking around the store kind of in a daze looking at everything... All the new spring clothing lines had arrived and there was a lot going on after Christmas... As I was aimlessly walking around I found myself suddenly in total shock and stopped in my tracks in the middle of the store... There before my eyes was an entire round rack of dresses, exactly like the one my mother was wearing in my dream that morning... I could not believe it at first.... Amazement is an understatement!!  After this demonstration, I could only conclude that our loved ones who have passed are aware of what we are doing, even before we do it... This was her way of showing me that... There is no doubt about it, life goes on and we stay connected to our loved ones even after they have passed from this realm..

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          No     

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No     

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    n/a

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  one was a dream and one was real

 Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No     

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          ecstatic and shock

 Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         a clear and audible voice in my right ear

 LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?         No     

Did you see a light?        No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         No       

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes         

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          No     

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?     Yes    I realized that our loved ones stay connected to us after they pass

 How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   It has made me more aware of how I interact with others

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes    I am looking forward to the reunion in heaven.

 Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes          My sister did not believe but my dad had the same kind of experience.

 What emotions did you experience following your experience? peace of mind, joy

 What was the best and worst part of your experience?          seeing my mom looking young and healthy

 Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? no

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No     

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes    N/A

 Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       no