I was extremely close to my father, before his illness became known, he came to visit us from his home in Chicago in September of 1974.  At the time of his visit, he started painting the outside of our house.  His pain started so he stopped. He returned to Chicago after a two week visit at which time, he was diagnosed with bone cancer.  He died in February of 1975.  The first "visit" from him was several months after he died.  We had hired a painter to finish painting the outside of the house.  My father came and stood at the end of our bed and said "The house looks beautiful, I am sorry that I did not get a chance to finish it."  The second visit was in July of 1977.  We had moved from No CA to SO CA.  Our new house had a swimming pool.  My father again came to "visit" me.  He stood at the foot of our bed and said "The house is very beautiful.  I would have loved to have been able to swim in the pool." The third "visit" from my father was after I had surgery in October of 1977.  I had just come home from the hospital.  My father "visited" me and said "I did not come to visit you in the hospital because I knew you would be ok. I wanted to wait until you were home."  The last "visit" from my father was on 1/26/78.

My father came to "visit" me and said "This is the last time that I am coming to visit you as something very important is going to happen and you will need all your time and energy to deal with it. Know that I love you. You can not longer mourn for me." The next day my husband became very ill.  We went to the doctor and he was diagnosed with Leukemia (AML).  I have never had a visit from my father since that day. My life changed drastically when my husband became ill and when he died and left me with four young children to take care of.  That is what my father meant.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?

No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         

Yes

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?        

My father was speaking to me

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?        

It was my father's voice.

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?     

not at all.

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?

no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         

No

Did you see the deceased?       

Yes

he looked exactly like he did when he was alive

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            very solid

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I saw all of him up to his knees.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?            he appeared to be the age at which he died

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            very healthy. no  infirmities before he died

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           not at all

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?  

No

How long did the experience last?      

about a minute

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         

sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?         

Yes 

He was in good spirits

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

Yes, he gave me the information that something was going to happen that would take all my time and emotion.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?        

Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:  

My father's visits were so real.  I was mourning him until his last visit and until the day my husband became so ill.

          Was the experience dream like in any way? 

No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:        

Could not understand why he was not coming to visit anymore.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?   

That my father was never going to "visit" again.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?      

Yes                Describe:    

Yes, I dealt with taking care of my husband until his death 2 years later.  I took care of my children.  They all finished college with higher degrees and are very self sufficient.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?            Yes    that he was watching over me and wanted me to be strong so that I could deal with the tragedy that was about to occur.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         

Yes    same as above

What emotions did you feel during the experience?         

Sad and frightened.  He was telling me to stop mourning him and deal with what was going to happen.

Have you shared this experience with others?       

Yes    Yes, I shared it with my Yoga instructor.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  

No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?         

Yes, after my husband's death, I did not think that I could handle a "visit" from him.  It would be too painful.  After 20 years I did have a "visit" from him just to check on how the kids and I were doing.  He came and visited and then left without leaving me a phone number where he could be contacted.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   

No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? 

Yes 

Just a visit from my husband.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?          

No

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.         

no, not really