Duncan's
ADC
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I was in the kitchen during a party. I had consumed no alcohol or drugs of any kind as I had driven to the party and was driving home after it. I was involved in a conversation with a girl, and there were others in the kitchen having separate conversations of their own. The girl had asked me if I would be dancing at the party and I said no, because at that time of my life I had very little confidence in myself and was afraid of making a fool of myself by dancing in a room full of people. She told me to lighten up, and I responded by saying something like 'I don't need to lighten up, I just dance like an idiot'.
She became very angry at me, which seemed strange. She then began crying, although not audibly. Tears ran from her eyes but she was still able to speak clearly, and her face did not contort in any way as people's faces often do when they cry. She looked perfectly normal except her eyes were crying. She began to tell me how important it was that I let go of my fears and enjoy myself, live in the moment because so many people who had died would give anything to come back and live freely without inhibitions they had placed upon themselves in life. This seemed really unusual to me. She grew very animated and passionate while making this point, and I did not reply, I thought it best to let her say her piece. Then she told me she loved me so much and she was so proud of the man I had become, which had me just lost completely. Then she said "You know who I am. I am your father! And you are my son! I see you are so low, and I am so sorry. (my relationship with my father had pushed me into a ten-year struggle with clinical depression and severe self-esteem issues, panic attacks and so on) I had to tell you how much I love you, and how sorry I am. But you will beat this, you will succeed."
At this point, I begun crying too, and I felt drawn in by a strange energy. I was unable to break eye contact with the girl to see how other people in the room were reacting to this but I learned afterward that everyone just stood there open-mouthed, watching. Witnesses said they couldn't take their eyes of us and couldn't speak, as though a powerful energy was in the room which rendered everyone frozen and unable to do anything except listen.
I felt so confused but just went along with it and spoke as if it was my father I was talking to. I told 'him' I was worried about my mother, who at the time was still quite broken from grief even 2 years after his death. 'He' said that my mum would be fine, but 'he' had "come to tell me something important." 'He' then said, "In five years, you'll be right at the top. Five years." I had no idea what this meant, whether it meant I'd be a success in life, or famous, or even if 'at the top' meant dead - ie in Heaven. I said I didn't know what 'he' meant and 'he' told me adamantly that I DID. 'He' said "You do! You DO, but you have to believe! You have to believe." I pondered this for a moment and 'he' told me again how proud 'he' was of everything I'd grown to be, and then said "remember - five years" and pointed up to the ceiling, and looked upward, smiling. Then 'he' looked at me with a huge smile of joy. What was weird that the smile was genuinely like my father's smile, but on a different face.
The tears stopped, and there was a change in the girl. She took a sip from a bottle of beer, and left the room.
I asked everyone in the room immediately afterward if they saw and heard as I had, and they said yes. I spoke to my friend about it for about 5 minutes and he was quite shaken by it too. I went to find the girl to ask her if she had any powers of mediumship but she had fallen asleep in the bedroom, apparently very drained and exhausted. The next day I tried to contact her to talk to her about it and her husband told me that she had no recollection of it and when he had asked her about it, she had no idea what he was talking about. He then explained what had happened in the kitchen and apparently she was very freaked out by it. She was quite afraid of what she'd been told had happened, and couldn't explain it. She didn't know me, or my father, or even that my father was dead. To this day she refuses to acknowledge the incident.
Note: The voice was the
girl's throughout the experience, I did not hear my father's voice.
Was this
experience difficult to express in words?
No
Did you ONLY sense
an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing,
feeling or smelling them?
No
Did you hear the
deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?
Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
see the box
above
Did
the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you,
or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was
communicated?
The words came through another person
If
you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound
the deceased made when they were alive?
It was dissimilar from
the voice the deceased made
Is
there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
Yes
Was
there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?
No
Did you feel a
touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?
Yes
The girl who seemed
to have been taken over as a medium or channel held my hands
Was
the touch familiar or unfamiliar?
neither
Was
anything communicated by the touch?
there was an urgency in
the touch as though imploring me to take heed
Is
there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the
surroundings at the time of your experience?
yes
Did you see the
deceased?
No
Did you smell a
distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
Yes
What
smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?
Like my father's
cologne
Was
the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?
Yes, it was like my
father's cologne, and I could still smell it in my nostrils and on my hands
afterwards
Was
anything communicated by the smell?
not to my knowledge
Is
there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any
other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?
no
How long did the
experience last?
i genuinely
don't know. it could have been anything between 2 and 15 minutes.
Was the beginning
and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?
it was gradual
at the beginning, confusing at first then BANG, it was obvious. The ending was
sudden too.
Could you sense the
emotions or mood of the deceased?
Yes
Sorrow and regret,
but love and joy all present throughout the experience, with a degree of
desperation
Did the deceased
give you information you did not previously know?
Not so much
information, but kind of a prediction. I'm about 9 months away from finding out
if it comes true. At the time, the message I received was that, in 5 years, I'll
be right at the top. I assume this either means I'll be successful, famous or
dead. It's hard to figure it out though; it may just mean I'll live in a high
rise building, or work in one. I really don't know.
How do you
currently view the reality of your experience?
Experience was probably
real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not
real:
The girl didn't know anything about me but the things she said did correspond to
my relationship with my father. And since the experience, my depression and
self-esteem issues went away quickly and I have discovered a talent I didn't
know I had which has suggested a very promising career. I returned to education
to study and have somehow excelled in a field that was unknown to me, in the
face of great adversity during the time of my studies. It's as though my life
performed an incredible u-turn after this event and some invisible force has
lifted me up and put me on a completely different path.
Was
the experience dream like in any way?
Yes
It was kind of numb,
hazy and unreal. I felt like I couldn't move properly and others in the room
said they felt it too.
Describe in
detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:
I felt surprised at
first because I didn't understand. I was having a conversation and it seemed as
if the person I was talking to just disappeared and was replaced by another
being, even though the body remained the same. I then became upset and even
frightened as it became apparent who I was talking to. Then I sort of settled
into the experience and accepted what was happening.
Was there any
emotional healing in any way following the experience?
Uncertain
I felt as though I'd
had closure to an extent and I let go of resentment I felt toward my father. I
then began to feel more positive about myself, although this took some weeks.
What was the best
and worst part of your experience?
No worst part really.
Best part was just talking to my dad again, and the closure aspect.
Has your life
changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
Describe:
Self-esteem
improved, stronger relationships, successful student
Did you have
any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
Belief in the soul and afterlife, destiny and a divine creative force.
Did the experience
give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God,
etc.?
Yes
Made me think that we do indeed have a soul that lives on after our body dies.
Death Compacts
are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies
first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a
compact?
Yes
I promised my
mother, sister and girlfriend that if I die first I will contact them if it's
possible.
The deceased in my
experience was not included in my compact.
Did you observe or
hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
No
What emotions
did you feel during the experience?
Confusion! Great
confusion, and then I was quite shaken.
Was the experience
witnessed or experienced by others?
Yes
Did you have any
sense of altered space or time?
Yes
I have no idea how
long the experience lasted, and neither does anyone else in the room. I asked a
few people and the answers ranged from 2 minutes to half an hour.
Did you have a
sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
No
I don't know if I
can say for sure that I know, but I certainly feel strongly that there is an
afterlife.
Did you become
aware of future events?
Uncertain
I was told that in
five years I would be right at the top. This could mean a number of things, but
in the 4 and a half years since the experience I have gone from being an
unemployed empty broken shell to a very successful student who has a well-paying
part-time job, a girlfriend, a baby on the way and some very promising career
options on the horizon.
Did you have any
psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did
not have prior to the experience?
No
I have become an
award-winning media student. But no psychic or paranormal gifts.
Did you experience
a separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
Did you meet or see
any other beings other than the deceased?
No
Did you see a
light?
No
Did any part of
your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described
above?
No
Have you shared
this experience with others?
Yes
Only close family members. My mother and sister believe me, but they believed in
such events before I had my experience. My girlfriend says she believes me but
I'm not sure if she does or she just says so to humor me!
Have you shared
this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?
No
Were there any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did you ever in
your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other
spiritual event?
No
Did the questions
asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your
experience?
Yes
You asked the right
questions. I gave the right answers to the best of my knowledge and described
the experience truthfully to the extent of my belief.