Just before my experience, I had a dream about both my brother Alan and my mother, who died about  two years before Alan died.  In the dream, I was in an unfamiliar place, with several small rooms.  There was no furniture and the walls light colored and bare.

  My mother was walking past a doorway to the room I was in.  I could barely see her as she seemed to be watching me from around a corner.  She had no expression on her face, but it seemed like she was conveying to me in some nonverbal way, that she could not come out, nor could I go to her.  I really wanted to see more of her, and I had the feeling of missing her and wanting to be with her so much.   I felt sad that because she didn't come out from around the corner, maybe she didn't want to see me.  I felt a sort of a tedious resignation coming from her, as if she had to be about her housewifely chores, and could not stop to talk.   During her life she was a very hard working mother and housewife, and had little time for herself, in addition to dealing with my emotionally abusive alcoholic father. So this dream made me sad for her because it seemed like she had the same tedious life on the other side as she did on earth, and wasn't able to be happy and carefree, which she certainly deserved after her difficult life on earth. 

Then in a doorway to another room off to the side of where I was, stood my brother Alan.  He was looking at me, smiling, but his eyes were filling with tears, and he tried to duck out of the doorway, and to turn away and hide his face, in the typical way a man does when he doesn't want anyone to see him cry. It seemed that he knew I missed my mom and was sad about her seeming like she had no time for me.  I felt love, compassion, regret, and sadness coming from my brother, commensurate with his life on earth.   No words were spoken by any of us in the dream, I seemed to just know what they were thinking and trying to tell me.  And that was the end of the dream. 

I awoke right after the dream, filled with a deep sadness, having seen my mom just out of my reach, and seeming indifferent to me, and seeing my brother looking away from me with tears in his eyes.  I was lying in bed, awake, but still with my eyes closed.  I was feeling so sad from this dream, and mulling it over in my head, trying to find something happy in the dream, and trying to figure out what it meant.

This next part is something so amazing to me, which I have never experienced before or since.  I was lying on my side in bed, immediately after waking from this sad dream, when I felt a strong vibration, such as a powerful electrical  back massager feels.  I felt this strong vibration start in my right heel, travel up the back of my leg, over my buttock, lower back, upper back, then go spinning off the back of my neck, just as if someone was using a strong electric massager on me.  While this was happening, I was aware that the vibratory sensation was in the form of an orb, about the size of a softball.  I could feel, or sense this, rather than see it.  I could sense or feel the colors of it too.  It was mostly a glowing red, with a partial rim of glowing yellow, sort of like a partial eclipse, or a yin/yang pattern, but mostly a glowing red.  It was as if this glowing, vibrating orb had started on my heel, gone up my leg, my back, and up to the back of my neck, where it went shooting and spinning off my neck, and away!

  I immediately got the feeling that this was my brother Alan, with his powerful and dynamic spirit, and warm, glowing, happy, and fun-loving persona, just giving me a vibrating, playful ZIP up my back, just to say "hello, and be happy" before spinning off the back of my neck, with his strong, happy energy.

I have never had anything like this happen to me, and don't feel that I have any special affinity for communicating with the dead, although my daughter does have this ability.  As much as I try, I have never before, or since, had anything this powerful and REAL happen to me.  The most interesting part, to me, was that I felt, or sensed, the shape, size, and glowing colors of the orb, rather than seeing it with eyes open, as my eyes were closed while it was happening.  The vibrating energy was very real.

I immediately woke my husband and tried to describe this to him, and have tried to describe to to others too.  I will never forget this.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     Uncertain   It is sort of hard to convey to others how this felt, and how I felt or sensed the color and shape of the orb, which was quite distinctive in its color pattern, rather than seeing it.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? Yes 

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   No                                   

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   Yes  

Describe where and how you were touched:     As described above.

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Totally unfamiliar, but not in a bad way, than anything I have ever experienced. A very strong vibration or energy.  

Was anything communicated by the touch?   Energy, playfulness, happiness, "just stopping by to make you aware that I'm here" feeling.

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No.  I have tried to figure out if this could have been a Charlie horse, or my leg falling asleep, or a back spasm, even an orgasm, but it was nothing like any of those things.  It was a totally different experience and sensation.

Did you see the deceased?   No                      

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    No                

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     Happy, playful, full of strong, positive energy.  The true spirit of my brother Alan.  I had no doubt it was him, even though I have many other deceased loved ones.  Even though my mother was in the dream I had prior to the experience, I feel that my mom's spirit would be softer and more gentle.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   No information was given.  Nothing was verbalized.  Everything in the dream prior, and coming from the or, was just "known" without words.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    It was a strong physical sensation.  Definitely not a dream!

Was the experience dream like in any way?    No   

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    No    I am just so happy to have had this experience, and feel that Alan is now his true self:  Strong, powerful, energetic, and full of joy.  That is the way he was meant to be on this earth, and he was all of those things, but sadly, succumbed to alcohol and drug use.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    Realizing that I had experienced something very special, a gift from my brother on the other side!

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    No        

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?    Yes    Hoping something like this will happen again! I have only had dreams of my deceased loved ones, which I look at as a visit from them.  This experience gives me hope that I am becoming more able to receive these, more real, kinds of contacts.  However, in the couple of years since, I have had no further non-dream visits.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Yes    I think that I was given a wonderful gift of a visit from my brother, from the other side.  I just hope my mother is happy there too, as my dreams of her that I remember,  have always been that she did not seem to be happy.  However, this last dream had her and Alan in very close proximity.  They were very close in this life.

I have had many dreams from those deceased, which seem to tell me how they are, where they are, or other such things, so I do believe they are out there somewhere, and that I will see them some day on the other side.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    No   

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        No   

Did you become aware of future events?           No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No   

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No   

Did you see a light?    Yes    The glowing orb, as described.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    I don't share this with everyone.  Some friends and relatives who claim to be Christians tell me that they do not believe in such things. My daughter was excited and happy for me, as I had never had anything this specific happen to my before.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No        

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No   

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      No