Donna
A's
ADC
|
My husband died in an accident while we were living in Europe. I remained there for a week, then returned to the States with my parents and stayed with them. The first few days following the accident, I did not sleep much. In the next few days, I had one dream about him, but it was clearly a dream and very symbolic, such as me traveling down a road, and leaving him behind on the road, hurt.
On the 10th day, I woke in the night and saw him at the foot of the bed. I could only see his face and head. His body dissolved into a cloudy mist. One of the things that always bothered John about me was I can't stand suspense. I want someone to tell me the end of the movie before I go see it. I read the last chapter of my books first, so I'll know if the rest is worth it. During our marriage, he never understood this tendency of mine.
The night
he visited me, he said, "I can't tell you all the secrets. I can't tell you the
beginning or the middle. But I came to tell you the end, because I knew that not
knowing would drive you crazy. And so I can tell you that it all comes out fine
in the end. I'm OK." I told him thanks for telling me that, and I told him we
were finally having the funeral the next day. He said he knew that, and I should
get some rest, and then he was gone.
Was this experience
difficult to express in words?
No
Did you hear the deceased or
hear something associated with the deceased?
Yes
Describe what you
heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:
I heard his voice.
Did the voice or
sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not
hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?
I think it was external,
just his regular voice.
If you heard a
voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the
deceased made when they were alive?
The same.
Is there any
possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings
at the time of your experience?
Everyone else in the house was
asleep, and the windows were closed.
Was there any
possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?
No
Did you feel a touch or
experience any physical contact from the deceased?
No
Did you see the
deceased?
Yes
Just his face, head and
shoulders, with the rest seeming to dissolve in mist. The head and face were
easily discernible, but also surrounded by mist. The mist was sienna-colored,
like a dark orange.
How clearly did
the deceased appear?
Slightly transparent would be a
good way to describe it.
How much of the
deceased did you see?
Head, face and shoulders.
Did the deceased
appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?
Same age, 32.
How healthy did
the deceased appear to be?
He died of head injuries in the
accident. He was not injured when he visited me.
Is there any
possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings
at the time of your experience?
No.
Did you smell a distinct
smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?
No
How long did the experience
last?
2 minutes at the most.
Was the beginning and end of
the experience gradual or more sudden?
Beginning was very sudden.
I believe he woke me. End was more gradual. He didn't say goodbye, just told me
to get some rest, and then the mist dissipated.
Could you sense the emotions
or mood of the deceased?
Yes He was the same as in
life, caring but teasing me a little about my intolerance for any kind of
suspense.
Did the deceased give you
information you did not previously know?
No.
How do you currently view the
reality of your experience?
Experience was probably real
Please explain why
you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:
The circumstances make it seem
like a dream. I was sleeping before it happened. But it stands in such contrast
to the handful of dreams I had about him before and since, in terms of how it
felt and the two-way conversation. I do not believe it was a dream.
Was the experience
dream like in any way?
Uncertain
See above.
Describe in detail your
feelings/emotions during the experience:
It made me miss him acutely, but I
felt so glad to see him. I sensed that it would be the only time he came to
visit. I remember I wanted to touch him but knew I could not.
Was there any emotional
healing in any way following the experience?
Yes
With accidental deaths, what is
so hard is this feeling like you never got to say goodbye. I was constantly
reliving that moment at the door when I casually told him bye as he left to test
drive our friend's new sports car. But this visit felt like a small bit of
closure, even though we did not actually say goodbye.
What was the best and worst
part of your experience?
The best part was seeing him one
more time, and the worst part was this sense that I wanted to touch him but knew
that if I did he would be gone.
Has your life changed
specifically as a result of your experience?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No
What
emotions did you feel during the experience?
I cried but
felt so grateful for the knowledge that he was OK. After the visit, I went in
and woke my parents and climbed into bed with them. I told them about it, and
they also found it very comforting.
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes I think my father believes it was a nice dream. But my mother clearly
identified it as a gift and a visit from John, even in those initial moments
when I was still uncertain about how I felt about it.
Have
you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or
web site?
No
Were there any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Did
you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or
other spiritual event?
No
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes