We were sitting on these bench seats on the bus, long and narrow and a set of bench seats right across from us on the other side of the bus. I was first, nearest the driver, then my mother right beside me. I could see my father sitting on the bench seat towards the back of the bus. My brother was sitting on his lap. My father had the most frightening smile on his face. My brother got off of his lap and I asked my mother "What is he doing here?"  My father then got up and came closer to us and sat right across from us on the bench seat.

I looked and smiled at him and then her and I said "Oh, I get it now. "You guys are getting back together" (they were divorced in the late 60's.)  It was then that I looked back at my father and said "No.. wait hold it, your dead!" I then looked back at my mother and grabbed her neck and hugged her so tight and cried and said "Please Ma, Please don't leave me, please don't leave me."  She said, "But I'm sick Debbie, I'm sick."  I woke up suddenly (which is always how I wake up after these astral plane dreams of mine).  Again, I had this dream in June of 2002, and my mother didn't pass until Aug 2002. I told her about the dream and she said that she had been so sick that she had wished she was dead. I told her that perhaps this new holistic doctor that she was seeing would help her. She lived very close to me and we were very close as we had our day together on Tuesday. 

Anyway, fast forward to July 28. My mother's best friend called me that sun morning. She said that she had talked to my mother and something wasn't right in her voice. I went to her apartment and knew something was terribly wrong. She went into surgery the next day for a perforated ulcer. She had a rare blood disorder that made her bleed internally, but after the surgery I thought she would be ok.  Three hours after the surgery, her doctor called to tell me that "We are losing her."  A small vein had popped and she had started to bleed again. Her blood pressure was so  low that they couldn't go back in to look for or correct the vein.  I ran to her bedside and asked her if she wanted to go (that I would understand, knowing how sick she had been) or did she want to stay with me. She of course could not speak with a tube in her mouth plus she had just come out of a major surgery and was still under medication, so she was not coherent.

As the medical staff was running around the room trying to figure out what to do, I spoke gently to my mother.  I said, "Ma, if you want to come back to me, you have to give me a sign "I want you to open your eyes as wide as you can and let me know you want to come back" It was then that all of a sudden her eyes popped open!!  I said, "Ok, lets fight, lets fight."  All of a sudden her blood pressure went back up and they were able to get her back up in surgery which lasted about four more hours. She came out of the surgery ok (she was so very strong and brave). That day was Monday.

On Fri, the small town hospital where she was, didn't want her to stay there for the weekend. Her  doctor wanted her to be in a trauma hospital and not a community hospital, so they moved her about one hour away. It was there at that hospital that I knew that my mother was going to pass away. When we got there the ICU was set up like the bus dream! There was a long line of couches and seats all the way down the narrow hall. Right across from the couches were the individual ICU rooms and there was a window that you could look in at your love one if you couldn't be in the room with them. I remember looking down the line at all of my mother's friends and family sitting on the bench seats and saying to my brother that this was not a good sign because it reminded me of the dream.

It was also strange that my sister was not there at all (just like in the dream).  On Sunday Aug 4 around noon I went into the ICU room with my mother. We had all been at the hospital since Saturday morning.  I sat by my mother's side and held her hand. She was only alive because of the respirator and the medication. We had decided to let her go because we all knew that she wasn't going to live. My cousin who was raised by my mother was there with a friend. The friend was not close to my mother at all, but was there to support my cousin. When I went in at noon the cousins friend came in and sat by the window of the ICU room. My mother's dearest friend was on the opposite side.

I talked to my mother and held her hand telling her how much I loved her. I remember at one point looking back and seeing my cousins friend sitting there "waiting."  I then thought to myself, "What is she doing here?!" It was the very thing that I said in the bus dream two months earlier, (except that time it was my father who was waiting). She was sitting in the same spot that he would have been sitting on the bus in the dream. I then told my mother not to go with my father if he should come for her. I don't know why but I kept telling her to go with her father and mother instead. All of a sudden I remembered a nickname that my grandfather had called my mother. I said "Ma.. see he's (my grandfather) is calling for you."  "I'll miss you but you can't come back now. You will just be too sick and you don't want to come back like that."

It was then that she stopped breathing and the flat line appeared. I felt like someone had torn my heart out. The cousin's friend screamed out. My mother's best friend told me what an unselfish thing to do.....Of course there is much more since her passing that has happened to me. I will post them here if anyone is interested.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? 

I have several communications with my mother after her passing. The last ones are her  calling me by telephone.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?          

yes

Did you see the deceased?       

I've had dreams where I saw my mother and also the most recent ones where she is talking to me over the phone. I do remember that it is never a cell phone.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?  Mother appears solid. Younger than when she passed

            How much of the deceased did you see?       Always all of her

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       My mother seems always to be younger about late 30 or early 40's.She was 68 when she passed

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            In the telephone conversation she never talks about any pain like she did several years before she passed. She always seemed pain free and very chatty.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          

Yes

Like I said I have had several dreams, but overall my mother appears to be younger, not sick.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

She has been communicating (I believe in symbols) for instance.  I had a recent dream of her crying. I asked her why and she said that she missed her friends at the apartments where she was staying before she passed. She was very friendly, and everyone loved her. She said that she missed everyone especially Evelyn. I have been dreaming in symbols and I looked Evelyn up on the net and the meaning of that name in Hebrew. It was a form of Eve which means" life."  (I'm not Jewish neither was she)  Anyway I took it too mean that she missed life.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?     

Experience was definitely real

With this particular experience as I have told her it was very real because it came true. As I have stated I have had several dreams since the passing of my mother.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  

Yes, All of these communications were through dreams.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          

The dream that I describe here of course was different that the recent dreams of communication with my mother, because she was still alive and I didn't want to believe that this was a dream of a warning to prepare myself.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          

Yes

I believe she will always be with me.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     

There is no worst part of knowing..

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?        

Yes

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         

Yes

On this particular dream that I had described the ICU unit was set up just like the dream.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           

When my mother contacts me I feel as if she is always with me and that I will always communicate with her. It helps the grief because I don't feel that I have lost her.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   

I don't know. I have a not of questions. Like I said, this is been going on for all of my life  and its all interconnected so its very difficult to answer these questions .

Did you become aware of future events?      

Yes  I have had several dreams that have came true.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes,

Before and after

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    

Yes

I feel like I am able to contact my mother on the astral plane. I also have and have had for a very long period of time dreams of levitation.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?  

No

Did you see a light?          

The very first series of dreams after my mother passing, I saw her as a young child (but it didn't look like her) and she was surrounded by white.  White snow, everything was white. She was holding a "lucid" tablet. It was pictures of our lifetimes -  her's and her family. It changed constantly.

Have you shared this experience with others?   

Yes, Most people are intrigued, some have stories to tell from their loved ones.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  

Yes, A couple of sites.  Didn't get much response..

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?      

this is ongoing for me I believe.  It wasn't just a onetime experience.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.   

I hope this helps someone. I would be glad to post other experiences. I just want to help someone who may be afraid of death of a loved one or of death itself.