I feel asleep watching TV. I woke up a little while later and heard rushing, loud, bubbling water. I sat up trying to figure out where the water was coming from because it wasn't like water you heard in the pipes, or after someone flushes or anything like that. It was everywhere. It was big, like it was in the air. Also heard what sounded like a new car engine right next to my head. As I lay back down (because I was too tired to get up and check it out) I heard Helene's voice. She said "Der r r r r " Her voice, or the word trailed off. I don't know what she was trying to say but it shocked me. I never thought I'd hear her voice again. The only thing I can think of is that she said "Der" to me (which is another term for "Duh") because my fianc had left. As if she was saying "What did you think would happen?".

I just don't know but I was very happy to hear her. We had fought over him but talked about it on a few occasions after. I begged her to tell me if she was ok with it and she said yes that she and him would never have made it but I didn't completely believe her. I never really got over the guilt. I felt that if she had been with him, she may not have fell into the depression that eventually killed her. I kind of feel like she was teasing me when I heard her voice. Taunting but in a playful way. I can't see her carrying vindictiveness over to the other side. Her voice sounded like it was on a radio or something and as it trailed off it sounded like it was echoing. Very weird.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    The word "Der" trailing off and echoing coming from Helene and loud rushing water, and what sounded like a new car engine right next to my head.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  Inside AND outside kind of. I had no sense of knowing what was being communicated but the next day I can't tell you how many people said "Der" to me. It kept happening and it's not like people say that all the time anymore. That was a word from the 70's or 80's or something. But it happened so much that I HAD to say something to my daughter after she said it. I told her about the experience and she immediately thought that it was about my fiance leaving.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           similar

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        a minute or two

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         I woke up to loud water and went back to sleep almost immediately while the water sound was still going. Helene's voice had trailed off.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           No

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           The water noise was very loud. It was everywhere and I was sitting up trying to figure out where it was coming from. I kind of knew that it wasn't coming from here. Her voice was clearly her. I was meant to hear her voice for some reason and I knew it.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Surprise, wonder, happiness at hearing her voice

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           No

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Hearing her voice was the best. No knowing what the water was all about was the worst and wishing I had got up and walked around or something instead of going back to sleep.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Uncertain      Maybe believing that someone who has passed over can communicate

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Uncertain      I don't understand the water thing although not long after the experience, maybe a year or two, I ran into something where someone asked someone if those who pass over can communicate and they were told yes, but they would have to go through water and/or blood to do it. I found that kind of weird considering I had heard all that water right before I heard her voice. It brings about more questions about things really. She sounded ok though. I worry a little about her because it was a suicide.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Uncertain

Not with her but my daughter had asked my mom to communicate or visit after she passed and I certainly believe she did.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            same, surprise and wonder, and happiness.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

maybe a little of special knowledge. You just don't hear that stuff everyday.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I had wondered if I had separated from my body and didn't know it.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?          No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            Yes

The water was everywhere

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     My daughter thought immediately that it had something to do with my fianc leaving.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

Had at least three complete out of body experiences and several partial out of body. They were all unexpected. When they started I had no idea what they were.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

I was given the chance to answer questions and describe my experience. That's good. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I can't think of any.