Just a Dream Away: After-Death Communication Through Dreams.  Click Here

On July 27, 2010—two years, five months, and one day since my father’s passing—I had an experience that I’m not sure how to classify. It started as a dream but turned into something far more significant.

I was dreaming about my dear old friend Ellen. We were at a laundromat. As the mundane dream sequence continued, Ellen and I were talking when I suddenly got the feeling she was not Ellen, but my dad. I said, “Dad, you are pretending to be Ellen, but I know it’s you.” Immediately, Ellen morphed into Dad before my eyes, chuckled and said, “Yep…it’s me.” At that point, our surroundings and all of the dream characters faded away and Dad and I were alone.

He sat down on something that placed him slightly above me and I sat at his feet. He was wearing a gray suit I recognized, a tie, and dress socks and shoes—just as he would have dressed to go to work when he was alive. He appeared to be about 45. He looked incredibly vibrant and healthy, and very real. This was not at all like a dream anymore; it was as if he were alive and I was awake. It was incredibly vivid.

I was very much aware I was with my dad in spirit and there were things I wanted to know.

“Dad, how do you feel?” I asked. “I feel great!” he answered.

 'But what about your legs,' I started, 'they were useless, remem—'

 'You said you weren't going to dwell on that anymore,' Dad replied. 'It's in the past; it's over.'

I was stunned. Early in my process of grieving for Dad, I had been obsessed with the memory of how sad it was when Dad lost his mobility and was bed-bound because of progressive Peripheral Neuropathy. I had finally realized I was focusing on his demise and death, not his life, and vowed I would stop dwelling on the sad times and focus on the 59 happy years I had with him. He had heard me!

I moved on. “OK, then tell me about the afterlife.”

'I could tell you some amazing things about it but I'm not going to.'

'Why not?'

Again, his response was stunning. 'Because you want to be dazzled, and it simply is what it is.' This was typical Dad: no-nonsense, matter-of-fact. His religious views were traditional and—being a scientist—he believed in the empirical. He had listened when I had talked about my spiritual studies and evolving beliefs about the afterlife but always took them with a grain of salt.

Then he said something that demonstrated to me we had truly been having dream visits for the past two years:

 'If I tell you, you listen at first, then you drift back to sleep and don't even hear me…you don't remember.'

This was true, unfortunately. It is challenging to remain lucid throughout a dream visit. There were times when I would 'drift back to sleep'—lose my lucidity and go back to dreaming. And often, I had forgotten some of what he had said during a dream visit upon awakening.

So, I asked him, 'Do you hear me talk to you?' This should be an easy one—I talked to him all the time in waking life.

'Yes,' he said. 'All the time. I hear you every time you talk to me.' This was a revelation. He did hear me when I talked to him. I smiled and said, 'I will love you forever, Dad.' Then he kissed me, a kiss that lasted till I woke up.

However, it wasn’t a regular awakening—it was more like my consciousness had shifted from my dream self to my physical self. It was not the typical, gradual process of waking in the morning—no hypnopompic state, no morning grogginess. My eyes opened wide as if I had only just lain down, closed my eyes, then reopened them.

I often wonder about that experience. Could Dad and I have met somewhere between Heaven and Earth? When Ellen became Dad and the dreamscape disappeared, did we enter some rarefied state between the physical and nonphysical dimensions where spirit and flesh can commune? Had I passed through the 'spirit door,' as the ancient Egyptians called it, and met my dad at the threshold of the eternal space where spirits of the dead dwell?

I can never know for sure, but I believe with all my heart that we did.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?     Uncertain

It was ineffable because it was extremely unusual.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?      No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   We had a discussion; I asked him questions and he responded. This is all detailed in my account.

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?     The voice was my father's and it came from him; he was standing, then sitting, right in front of me.

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     It was my father's real voice, same as when he was alive.

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         Yes

He kissed me.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? Completely familiar. It was as if my dad were still alive and kissing me. The only unusual aspect is that it was on the lips, which was not typical in real life except in his final days.

          Was anything communicated by the touch? His love for me.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no

Did you see the deceased?       Yes

He looked 40 years younger than his age at death; he was wearing clothing that he typically wore when he was alive and working.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            As solid as real life.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       All of him.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?           He appeared to be 40 years younger than he was when he died.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Very healthy.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? Yes

          What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?          He smelled clean and I could faintly smell the cologne he used to wear, Old Spice.

          Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?          Dad smelled like Dad; he wore Old Spice when he was alive and that's what I smelled in the dream visit.

          Was anything communicated by the smell?          Familiarity

          Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?         no

How long did the experience last?      I can only guess, since I was asleep. I would say about 5 - 10 minutes.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       Both were more gradual than sudden; when it began I was dreaming of my friend Ellen; she morphed into my father. When it ended, I felt my consciousness move gently from my dream awareness to my physical body in bed.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

He was as happy to see me as I was to see and be with him.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes; he confirmed that he hears me talk to him, and he confirmed that he comes to me in dreams on a regular basis but that I sometimes don't remember or I lose lucidity or wake up in the middle of his visits. Details are contained in my account of my experience.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   This was not the first ADC I had had with my dead father. They all occur during lucid dreams and all seem completely real. This was the most profound and realistic dream visit I've had with him because we sat and talked face to face; I asked him direct questions and he responded.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?          Uncertain

This question is hard to answer because it WAS a dream, but it was a fully lucid dream, so I KNEW I was dreaming yet I was having a very real conversation with my dead father.       

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Amazement, great happiness, gratitude, deep love for my father, utter astonishment.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

It eased my grief over the death of my father.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The best part was discovering that my dad does indeed hear and feel me even though he is no longer incarnate; the worst part is that it ended, as all ADCs do eventually! I also wish that it could have lasted longer.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?      No     

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes    It confirmed what I have come to believe, which is that life doesn't end at physical death and that our loved ones CAN communicate with us if we open our minds to the experience and watch for signs, 'coincidences,' and especially if we focus on seeing them in our dreams. I have done a huge amount of dream work over the last 40+ years and taught myself to lucid dream; I believe that dreams are an excellent means of ADC because we are completely relaxed and our rational, critical minds are shut down, making it easier for the spirits of our loved ones to get through to us.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?    Uncertain

When my husband died in 2014, I asked him to visit me in my dreams and to use dragonflies as a signal that he is with me.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain He verified things I had said to him, things I had thought about him, since his death that he couldn't possibly know (since he is dead) unless he had heard me from beyond the veil.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Tears of joy, elation, overwhelming gratitude that I had had such a profound experience.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

I was completely aware I was having a face-to-face conversation with my dead father. In retrospect, I sensed that we had met somewhere between Heaven and Earth; that perhaps we had entered some rarefied state between the physical and nonphysical dimensions where spirit and flesh can commune.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   Uncertain

I have had over 100 OBEs over my adult lifetime, and the authenticity---the sensation of realness---is the same for me in both OBEs and lucid dreams. I believe this experience started as a dream, then became a lucid dream, then it might have become an out of body experience because when I awoke, it was not a typical awakening-from-sleep experience. I felt that my consciousness literally moved from my personna in the dream visit to my physical body in bed.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?          Yes

At the beginning of the dream, I was with my best friend Ellen in a laundromat. I don't remember what we talked about, it was just a dream at that point. Then she morphed into my father, I became lucid, and Dad and I sat and had a conversation.

Did you see a light?        Uncertain

Unclear question. If you mean like the proverbial 'light at the end of the tunnel,' or a bright, ineffable light, no. There was ambient light in the space in which Dad and I were sitting.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     Uncertain

I don't know what 'location described above' you're referring to. If you mean the location I described in my ADC, no.

Have you shared this experience with others?      

Yes    As with all unusual, metaphysical experiences, people's responses vary. Supporters/believers felt that my experience was wonderful; nonbelievers didn't believe it. I have written and published a book about my ADCs with my dad and my husband, and people that have read it tell me they were deeply moved and heartened after reading it.

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?   After-death communication is an extremely important, life-changing experience that could be of significant service to people who are grieving the loss of loved ones. I feel deeply grateful that my dad and I, and later my husband and I, have been able to achieve contact 'across the veil' and wish that more people could experience it.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes 

I have had many spiritual events in my lifetime, starting with lucid dreams as a child, over one hundred OBEs, too many lucid dreams to count, a  past-life dream, and a spontaneous vision of what I believe to be a past life.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       Clarifying a few questions as I noted. Otherwise, it's VERY comprehensive.