The first experience happened when I was trying to unlock my husband's cell phone to extract some pictures from it and also to see if he had gotten the text I had sent him either right before or during his cardiac arrest, which happened while he was at work. I had no luck unlocking the phone. The last text message I sent to him read "I love you so much! Hope your day is great and good luck on your interview. I am so proud of you!!!". I had spent hours the night before researching ways to unlock an android without erasing the data, but had found no way to bypass the code needed to get into the phone. That morning I had picked up his phone to attempt to try one more numerical code with no luck. I then went to grab my iPhone that was on the charger in another room. To say I was surprised was an understatement when I had a notification of a text from my husband. The text simply read 'Yours?'. I have no idea what it meant. It does not answer or respond to any of the previous texts between us for the days leading up to his death. His phone was also on for a couple of days after he passed until the battery died, so if he was responding to some text to me, I would have already received it the day he died? I was never able to get into his phone. I ended up doing an entire reset on it after I got that text message. A lot of things like text messages I was unable to retrieve, but he had his pictures backed up to the cloud so I was able to save those.

My second experience happened a few weeks after our daughter was born. The day I got the worst phone call of my life I was getting lab work done since I was nearly 3 months pregnant with our first child. My husband never knew we were having a girl. The days following his death, I would talk to him out loud. I asked him to please stay with me until at least when the baby was born. A few weeks after her birth I was sleeping in our bed with my daughter next to me. I was having one of those half awake, half asleep dreams of my husband. Usually if I dreamt about him I don't remember much detail, but this one was different. Majority of the conversation is fuzzy, but the one part that sticks out is when he asked me what I missed the most. I told him I missed him being right next to me. I was sleeping in a sports bra and at that moment I felt someone/ something touch me as if a hand was being placed on my side. I remember freaking out slightly but then I had this calm feeling take over and knew it was my husband. I opened my eyes to see my infant daughter asleep next to me and I could still feel the hand on my side. I laid there not moving until I could no longer feel the touch. I believe it was him saying goodbye to me, that he had kept his promise and was with me until the baby was born. After that I could no longer feel his presence.

My third experience happened early this morning. I am not sure what it was but it prompted me to google my experience which is what lead me to this website. I have not been sleeping very well the past few weeks, I have been dreading this week for months. Tomorrow will be the 2 year anniversary of my husband's death. I went to bed around 2 am, and since my daughter sleeps with me I get woken up several times during the night. I am not sure what time is was, but I remember smelling this sweet almost floral scent as I was stuck in between being asleep and awake. I turned my head to the left and I could not smell it has strong as when I turned my head to the right. I didn't recognize the scent. It almost smelled like roses or potpourri. When I was fully awake, I tried to locate anything that would have given off that scent. There is nothing in my room like a plug in, potpourri or perfume nearby that can explain this. The strange experience prompted me to google it and saw that other people have had similar experiences and have linked it to spirits or the presence of deceased loved ones.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?          No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?       No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?       Yes

In my bed, I felt a hand touching my side

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? Somewhat familiar. I remember being freaked out at first, but then I became really calm and realized it was my husband

          Was anything communicated by the touch? yes, I felt he was telling me goodbye and that everything was going to be ok. He had kept his promise to stay with me until the baby was born

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No

Did you see the deceased?       No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      Each experience that I have had has been brief, maybe a minute or less. Cannot be certain since 2 of the 3 I have been asleep

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?      The first one was gradual, the second was sudden and so was the third one

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Uncertain

In my second experience, I would like to think he was happy, that he felt it was ok to move on to another realm, or place, wherever spirits go when the body dies

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?          No. I wish to know how he died exactly. It was so sudden, and unexpected. He literally looked like a picture of health at 32 years old. I also wanted to know if he received my text message before he died.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   I have had previous spirit encounters not from any deceased loved ones. I believe that spirits attempt to communicate. I also believe that we have a sixth sense to sense other presence that may not be physical.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  Yes

I was half asleep, so I have also thought it could be something like sleep paralysis. I have also feel/felt that I have some unresolved feeling or emotions associated with his death and maybe its my brain's way of making sense of everything.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Most of my experiences I have been asleep. This current experience, I felt grief sadness and anger because it's been 2 years. I wonder where the time has gone. 2 years have went by literally in a blink of an eye to me so I was emotional before going to bed.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain

I sometimes wonder if I have dealt with his death. I feel stuck in my own life at times... just existing

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     The best part was knowing that he was or still is around, maybe? The worse part is it makes me miss him more. I feel like it makes me relive the tragedy that happened in a way.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes                Describe:     Yes profoundly. I question God. I believe in a higher power but maybe not exactly the God I was taught growing up to believe in. It has changed me as a person. I am not as high strung. It has affected my career. I was a ER/ Trauma nurse before all of this and I cannot go back to an ER. I am not sure how I would react in a code situation. Probably not very well since I had a slight panic attack trying to renew my CPR certification. In some aspects I feel indifferent towards my own life. Sometimes I feel like if I didn't have my daughter I would have given up at life. I have never been suicidal and would never do anything to harm myself, but the best way to describe is indifference. I didn't care whether I lived or died.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes    I am no longer scared of death, if anything I am more intrigue by it. After he died I feel like I became weirdly obsessed with it.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         No     

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?         No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Sadness, relief, confusion

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

Maybe not in those experiences, but I feel this way quite often.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No

Did you become aware of future events?      Yes

A month before his death I cried for 2 days thinking something bad was going to happen to my brother whose birthday was coming up. I chalked it up to pregnancy hormones, but the morning he died, right around the time he went into cardiac arrest I was in the shower and literally had the worst sense of dread come over me. I was thinking what if something happened to Anthony? I knew he had not responded to my text I had sent him 15 before, but I ordinarily would not be bothered by that since he was at work. The feeling was so strong and upset me so much that I started crying in the shower. 30 mins later when I am getting labs drawn at the Dr's office, I started getting back to back phone calls from a number I did not recognize and a voicemail. I knew after seeing the missed calls something had happened to him because of my experience in the shower.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes

I have had some instances where my dreams about random things would come true. Nothing life altering

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?  Uncertain

I wonder about the second experience I had. It seemed so real, like we were physically together and then when he placed his hand on my side it's like I jumped back into my body. I have had experiences prior to his death where I would be watching myself sleep, but figured it was a dream.Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?        No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     Yes

With the second experience, it did not occur in my bedroom, but almost in a void. I don't remember anything but his face and the words he said to me.

Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes    Some of my husband's family have shared with me their dreams or their experiences of feeling his presence such as hearing his favorite song on the radio. I haven shared it with many people, just those that were close to him.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?       No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?     No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       NO. I feel that this questionnaire provided a way to accurately describe my experiences.