When my Dad was dying I was in denial - I refused to accept that he would leave although he was receiving palliative care for cancer, which had spread to his liver, while in his bedroom at home.  The evening before he passed I sat with him and was told by my mother that I needed to sleep.  I left his room and went to bed, as I was drifting off to sleep a face sort of thrust itself into my mind - it was a face I hadn't seen before.  The force of the picture of the face, as it seemed to come at me, was quite shocking. The face was of an Asian woman with long black hair and round black-rimmed glasses. I found this alarming. I got up, afraid to drift back off to sleep, and took a book into my dad's room.  As I sat at his side, in the early hours of the morning, I could hear his breathing change.  I called my mother and we both sat with him talking to him and stroking his arms and holding his hands.  My Dad passed away within a few minutes.

I called the emergency medical number, that had been given to us, to pass on that my Dad had died, I was told that a doctor would be with us shortly to confirm his death.  I sat downstairs in the lounge waiting for the doctor. I saw the lights of a car and heard steps towards our front door,  I opened the door and there was the doctor - a woman with the long dark hair and black rimmed glasses, it was exactly the face that I had seen. that had prevented me from going to sleep, the previous evening.  I gasped involuntarily as I looked at her and she was taken aback - but she must have presumed my emotions were heightened.  I would have been devastated had I gone to bed and to sleep.  In the morning, found that my Dad had passed alone.  I believe something woke me and wouldn't let me sleep.

I was distraught during the hours that followed. I was sitting on my bed, during the following day time hours. I can't remember what time it was. only that it was during the day.  I was feeling my grief and I heard my father's voice distinctly and clearly say to me 'Anne you have to let go'. The voice was as clear as any voice is and was utterly Dad's voice.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?          Uncertain

Mixture of visual and auditory

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?      No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   The voice said 'Anne you have to let go' could not have been clearer

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?     It seemed to originate externally from the end of the bed in which I sat.

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     Absolutely the same as the voice of my Dad

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No, the house was quiet, there was only myself, my mother and my dog in the house

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?         No

Did you see the deceased?       No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last?      A few seconds

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?       sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes

He sounded calm and supportive to me

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   My experiences were unexpected, and a surprise to me, the nature of the experiences were totally outside of anything I could have thought up.  I could not possibly have known what the doctor who certified my Dad's death would look like, apparently she was a locum doctor - I found out later - and I haven't seen her since.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  No   

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  The evening before my Dad died I was in denial but I did feel anxious and upset.  After he died I felt intense grief and a visceral sickness in my stomach

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

Yes in that I felt that, if it was him, and I believed and still believe it was him, that he was looking out for me

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The best part of my experiences have been the clarity of them - there has been nothing ambiguous about the delivery of my experiences, however the worst part is that I still carry the grief

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?      Yes    I am aware there is some kind of something at around sacred times such as when someone, or any animal passes.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?         Yes    My father sounded very much alive, and if I'm to go on that then there must be some kind of afterlife, although I'm open minded, I believe that if there is some kind of higher existence or God I don't think we can understand or define it, this is why I think of myself as being agnostic.  I have never been able to become a member of any particular religion, as I believe that that may involve some kind of mistake of the intellect, not that I'm an expert! - but I can't really accept that there is a heaven or hell.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes Yes, but only I can verify that the face I saw as I was about to drift off to sleep was the face of the locum doctor.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Following the experience that prevented me from drifting off asleep I felt alarmed, and afraid to try to sleep again.  After hearing my father's voice I felt somewhat comforted that he was still in existence, or so it seemed, that he seemed calm and not distressed and no longer suffering as he had suffered very much.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      Uncertain

The reason why I have found this page is due to a very brief experience that I had yesterday, our beloved dog of 16 years passed, the grief is terrible. It is so sad when the decision must be made that they need to receive euthanasia, this week while watching TV to distract from the pain, I drifted into a brief sleep lasting probably barely a minute and I saw a picture of my dog sitting on her bed, she was younger and looked healthy and happy. The picture vividly and in vibrant colour flashed into my mind like a still picture. I sort of jerked awake. The picture was so accurately colorful and real I felt it was a reassurance that she was out of suffering and still cared for.  I have not told anyone of this.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?        No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?     No

Have you shared this experience with others?       No     

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?   I would like to remain anonymous.  The experiences were very clear and I felt like they were a real event and my involvement was as real as meeting a friend in 'real life' and witnessing what they have to offer without knowing in advance.  The feelings around these experiences, that I was aware of, were of benevolence and kindness

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?          No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.       I can't think of anything at the moment.