Experience description:
I had him on
my mind all time. Before he died,
after he died. I missed him
terribly and had had many signs from him. Were
they all coincidences? I don't know.
I was afraid to tell many of my close friends of these experiences because I
knew I would have definitely been accused of missing him too much and not
wanting to let go. But, stuff was happening; a lot of stuff.
Always different things. Except for the light bulbs which would blow out
constantly when I'd put on the switch. (Since
he's gone, about 9 months already, I had to change around 15-20 bulbs so far).
But, I always knew it was him and I never was afraid. Sometimes I say,
Honey, you'll be visiting me in Bellevue soon. Because who would believe these
things were all happening to me. Bellevue is a hospital for mental
patients...... First of all, let me say that I did not believe in life after
death, AT ALL. But, then I turned into this person who could actually smell him,
not his cologne, but his scent and feel him in incredible ways.
Sometimes, I say. Hi, honey, I know you're here.
I miss you so much." Its
comforting to me because I feel the connection so strongly and believe me, I'm
not about to play myself and scare myself with a story like this.
This is happening. Anyway, the experience I want to share this time is the one
that happened on the night of October 4th. I went to sleep around 12:00 or so,
everything was normal. I'm sure
he was on my mind
he always was. I fell asleep.
The TV was on, its always on. The
lamp was dim, but on. Anyway, something woke me up.
It wasn't a noise. But, when
I turned around I saw this cloud of shimmering white and silver fog next to my
bed. I could still see the silver
movement in my mind. I looked at it for a second, I saw it wasn't anyplace else
in the room. And although I knew it
was odd, I somehow wasn't bothered and turned over and went back to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning and realized what had happened I was
pretty hysterical. I WAS DEFINITELY
AWAKE, THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE---THIS WAS NOT A DREAM.
I was afraid to tell anyone. Who
would believe it. I finally told
someone who had known about all this after death stuff.
She said I had an apparition. "A
what", I said. I thought
apparitions happened only with saints and the kids from Fatima.
I didn't know what to think. I
have to honestly say that it totally unnerved me, even though I loved him and
love him so much; it was beyond incredible. I waited every night for it to
happen again. Two times since that
first time, I woke and saw small clouds, up higher on the wall, though and not
as intense as that first time. I
love this man and always will and welcome all the signs that let me know that he
hasn't really left me. Through this
time I've read several books and know that, No, I'm really not crazy. I have
also been trying to teach myself how to open the channels of communication
further since I know he really wants to communicate with me, too.